


Personal Touch

by nitro9



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Angst, F/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitro9/pseuds/nitro9
Summary: Lisbon is an expert at compartmentalizing. She doesn't mix work and personal. Rules are there for a reason. Jane doesn't expect her to break the rules, but sometimes he needs her to bend. / AU series, exploring what might have happened if Jane and Lisbon started a secret relationship in Season 1
Relationships: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon
Comments: 19
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A dynamic I wanted to explore, this was originally a one shot. This is an episodic story covering Seasons 1 through 4. First published on FFN, reviews welcome!

"Any ideas, Jane?" Lisbon glanced in the consultant's direction before returning her eyes to the road.

They were driving across town after interviewing the victim's family in their latest case. Molly Jones was found murdered in a town about two hours south of Sacramento. To avoid an overnight stay, the team split up to talk to as many friends and coworkers as possible in one day. As usual, Lisbon paired up with Jane. So far he had been quiet. Too quiet. He was spending way too much time in his own head lately.

Jane roused himself and turned his head away from the window. "Ideas?" he repeated neutrally. He studied her profile and Lisbon smiled in what she hoped was an encouraging manner. A small gleam lit his eyes. "Sure, I've got ideas." He stretched dramatically and then drew one outstretched hand from her knee to her thigh before settling it there. He smiled satisfactorily before squeezing gently.

Lisbon frowned and pushed his hand away. "I mean about the case, we're on the clock."

Jane glanced pointedly to the empty back seat. "There's no one here to tattle. A little human contact is good for you."

Lisbon sighed. "We've had this discussion before."

"Nothing personal during active cases," Jane intoned along with her. "You may have noticed we don't get a lot of downtime between cases - if at all."

She took her eyes off the road just long enough to send him a glare. He raised his hands in surrender. "Just sayin', it's been awhile," he muttered.

"Can we get back to the case, please?" she said, more harshly than she intended.

"Sure, yeah, the case," he answered flippantly. The car was quiet for a moment as he thought, tapping a finger on his lower lip. He put his hands down and turned to look at her. "The family wasn't hiding anything. This will be an easy one. Probably the boyfriend."

Lisbon sighed. "The victim didn't have a boyfriend."

Jane blinked, but continued unfazed. "Secret boyfriend, co-worker, jilted barista. It'll come out easily enough."

"So you've got nothing," she clarified as they pulled into a parking space.

"Not nothing," he said, offended. "We haven't met the suspect yet. It'll be obvious when we do. I bet you won't even need me."

Lisbon turned off the car and unbuckled her seatbelt before turning in his direction. "So you're just going to watch me work?"

Jane leaned in and met her gaze, smiling. "Tempting, but no," he emphasized the word with a tap on her nose. "We are going to close this one fast, and then I am going to get all sorts of personal with you." His eyes roved over her body suggestively and Lisbon couldn't help but smile back.

"Glad to hear it," she replied, a challenging twinkle in her eye.

X

The day did not pan out as Jane had predicted. By evening they had no leads. That in itself was nothing unusual at this point of an investigation, but Jane's attitude had gotten more and more dismal as they crossed suspects off their list.

As they got back to the CBI after their last interview, Jane followed an irate Lisbon through the nearly empty bullpen into her office. The others had already finished their interviews and headed home, planning for a fresh start in the morning. Lisbon went straight to a filing cabinet and efficiently yanked out some forms that she dropped on her desk. Jane hovered in the doorway, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his eyes following her angry movements.

"You just had to provoke him, didn't you?" she spat out as she crossed behind her desk and pulled out a pen.

"He was concealing guilt," he reminded her.

"Because he was snubbing the victim while he planned a surprise birthday party for her next week."

Jane shrugged. "Stressful things, birthday parties. I'm telling you, Lisbon, she found out he hired a stripper and they had a big fight about it. This was a crime of passion."

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "He was having the party at work - at the toy store. Her body was found across town in a public park. No obvious connections. You're looking for things that aren't there to fuel your own agenda. It's not getting closed today. And now I have to fill out these complaint forms." She dropped into her chair and pulled the top form closer. She started scribbling at it fiercely.

"Who has an adult party at a toy store? Definitely something fishy going on there."

Lisbon didn't look up from her writing. "Go home, Jane."

He turned, but surprised her by closing the door instead of going through it. He took one step towards her and looked at her longingly. "Can I come over tonight?"

Her pen paused and she looked up at him, her brow furrowed in confusion. "We have a case. I'm working."

"That won't take all night. I'll bring snacks, you pick the movie."

He stepped further into the room and her pen dropped, her confusion increasing at Jane's open expression. He looked vulnerable. "That's not how we operate." She said carefully. Her expression shifted. "Are you trying to manipulate me?" she accused. "We have rules for a reason, Jane. If this is going to interfere with your work performance -"

His eyes widened and he held out his palms to her, showing submission. "No. I just don't want to be alone tonight. I was hoping-"

Lisbon put her hands on her desk and stood up abruptly, leaning towards him menacingly. "If this is about a warm pair of arms, you could easily pick up any of the women at the sports bar-"

He came closer, maintaining his submissive gesture. "It's not. It's about spending time with someone I care about." He narrowed his eyes. "I thought I made it perfectly clear that I'm exclusive with you. And if I was looking for easy I would never have propositioned my boss." His lips quirked in a smile.

She straightened and crossed her arms, putting more space between them. "No, you like the challenge." She looked away uncomfortably.

Jane thought for a moment, his head cocked to the side. Then he nodded subtly. "You do challenge me," he conceded. "And you inspire me. You're great at your job, the whole team adores you. And," he smiled as she looked back to him. "You have a great a—".

The cupping motion he was making with his hands made Lisbon's eyes widen. She glanced at the closed door and she instinctively lowered her voice, interrupting him. "This is not the place to discuss that," she hissed.

He grinned at her. "So I'll see you later - in an hour?" He whirled away towards the door.

Lisbon closed her eyes briefly to maintain her composure. When she opened them again they held a flicker of compassion. "We're in the middle of a case," she repeated firmly. Jane turned back and frowned slightly. She added softly, "I know you were hoping for something different tonight-" Jane shook his head and looked like he was about to speak, but Lisbon raised her voice and powered through. "You've been off all day. If it's not about the case, and it's not about this," she gestured between them, "then what's going on?"

He pursed his lips and held her gaze. She could see the moment he closed himself off from her, his openness replaced with a cool hardness. He lifted one hand with his pointer finger outstretched and moved it in a circular motion, drawing attention to the room. "Nothing personal at the office," he said coldly.

"Jane," she protested, sounding just a bit whiny.

"We have rules for a reason," he echoed her words back to her. They maintained their stare for a few tense moments. "I'm going for a walk," he informed her. "I'll see you in the morning." And then he abruptly turned and strode away.

Lisbon dropped back into her chair and sighed heavily, holding her head in her hands. She eventually shook herself out of it and scowled at the form as she picked up the pen again.

X

Lisbon did not sleep well that night. She had gone looking for Jane, but couldn't find him. She was an independent woman and the fact she couldn't get him out of her head made her grumpy. Their arrangement was simple. They closed cases, then they indulged in some personal interaction.

Most times he would show up at her place with takeout, every once in awhile they met at the bar where it started.

But it was always about the sex.

Sometimes cases overlapped, or paperwork had to take precedence, but it seemed like those boundaries were failing more and more often. Lisbon had mixed feelings about that. She liked having sex with Jane, but she felt like she was losing control. She grasped at the rules she had imposed when things changed between them.

The first time had been innocent enough. She wanted a couple of drinks after a hard case. Jane knew it was unusual for her to go to a bar, so he had followed her inside. She wasn't sure why he'd been following her in the first place. Maybe his intentions really had been pure, but he had paid for a couple of rounds and they both got distracted passing the time with silly observations and small talk. They ended up drinking more than they should. The football game switched to a half time show on TV and Jane insisted that he wanted to dance. He held her close even though it was a marching band playing and there was no dance floor. That was when the details got a little hazy.

She couldn't quite remember who had initiated the first kiss, but she definitely remembered what happened after. Waking up with Jane in her bed was mortifying. As she laid there under the blankets, frozen with embarrassment, he had effortlessly made her laugh and charmed her into another round. They had the day off and he lingered. It was a good day.

Back at work a couple days later, she nervously waited for him to make an inappropriate comment and rat them out to the team. Instead, after a full day of business as usual, he graced her with a simple wink and a smile in her office before he left for the day.

She kept telling herself it was a one time thing. Over the next couple of weeks they never alluded to what had happened. But the next time they closed a case and the weekend loomed ahead of them, he showed up at her door. He looked at her with heat in his eyes and Lisbon couldn't think of a reason to turn him away.

Jane had complied surprisingly well with the rules she set up. It was important to her that they remain professional at work. No one could suspect they were together. They soon settled into a routine. It had been running smoothly this way for several months now.

But now all it took was one off day and his vulnerable eyes and she was confused as hell. She wasn't sure if she should be concerned as his boss or his… what? Lover? Girlfriend? They hadn't bothered with labels. She liked Jane. She enjoyed working with him and their intimacy in the bedroom was a glorious perk. But it was a tryst. An engagement of convenience. They didn't date, they didn't talk about anything deep. It worked for them. What was Jane doing, messing with the system?

Lisbon rolled into work later than she'd like, though still within the bounds of normal. She saw Jane's car in the lot and cursed her heart for it's traitorous lurch. She was not going to let her confusion about Patrick Jane disrupt her work day. They needed to talk things through, but it wasn't going to be while they were on the clock. She took some deep breaths and exited her car. She strode into the bullpen to check in with her team. Jane's couch was conspicuously empty. She walked past Rigsby and Van Pelt so she could turn her back on it to address them.

"Hey guys. Any developments with the case?" she asked with a plastered on smile.

They looked at each other before turning to her. "Uh, Jane said he would call you," offered Rigsby.

"He went over our notes from yesterday and he found a lead. It looked promising. Cho went out with him," explained Van Pelt. "They left twenty minutes ago."

Lisbon's face fell and she pinched the bridge of her nose as a headache suddenly came on.

"You okay, boss?" ventured Van Pelt. "It's just that Jane seems off recently."

"Yeah, almost like he's trying to distract himself from something. We figured it was better for him to be busy, rather than moping around here."

Lisbon froze and considered the date. He had implied there was a personal matter, but she had been distracted. There wasn't an obvious Red John connection, so probably something more obscure… anniversary or birthday? Something clicked. "Damn," she muttered. "Do you know where they are going?" she asked.

"All I have is a name," answered Van Pelt. She checked her computer. "Glenn Dorman. He's a bartender at Lucky Strike bowling alley. Our vic was part of a league there."

"Look up some addresses for me, I'm going to meet them." She started towards her office.

"What's up, boss? What's the concern?" asked Rigsby as Van Pelt started typing.

She whirled around and spoke as she walked. "For whatever reason, Jane really wanted to get this thing closed yesterday. If he thinks this is the guy he probably has some ill advised plan in place to entrap him. The more eyes on him, the better."

"You want me to come along?" Rigsby offered.

"Nah. Keep digging through the evidence, call me if there's anything else I should check out while I'm there."

In her office she quickly flipped through Jane's file. "Damn," she exclaimed again. She put the file back in it's proper place and grabbed a few things for the road. She tried to call Cho but it went to voice mail. Van Pelt supplied her with the addresses to check out, and Lisbon left. She was half an hour behind them. She knew Cho was driving, so she might have a chance to catch up.

X

A couple hours later she pulled up in front of the suspect's house. The neighborhood was quiet and there was no CBI-issued vehicle out front. She tried to call Cho for what felt like the millionth time, but he still didn't pick up. She approached the house and rang the doorbell. A woman answered the door.

"Can I help you?" she asked cautiously.

Lisbon flashed her badge. "CBI, ma'am, I'm looking for Glenn Dorman."

"Some other folks were just here looking for him. He's at work."

"At the bowling alley?"

"Yeah. Is my husband in some kind of trouble?"

"I really couldn't say. Thanks for your help."

"Sure," she replied, but Lisbon was already heading back to her vehicle. She checked the address and peeled out.

X

Lisbon found the bowling alley and parked crookedly by the main entrance. She stopped the engine and jumped out of the car. As she walked briskly toward the building, sunlight reflected off the door as it moved outward. She pulled her gun. She stopped and replaced it in relief as Cho calmly walked through the door towards her. He was leading a man in handcuffs.

Cho paused when he saw her and the man stopped without complaint, his eyes wandering away in disinterest. "Hey, Boss," said Cho.

Lisbon nodded, still catching her breath as the brief adrenaline rush faded. "Where's Jane?"

"Skee-ball."

Lisbon smiled briefly then straightened, all business. She indicated the suspect. "This Dorman?"

"Yeah. We asked him a few questions, then he punched Jane in the nose and tried to run. Taking him back to Sac."

Her mouth twitched. "Did Jane deserve it?"

Cho looked at Dorman, but the man continued to avoid his gaze. Cho turned back to Lisbon and nodded curtly.

"I'll grab Jane and follow you back."

"Okay," he acknowledged. "I'll call it in." He put his free hand into his pocket, then frowned and patted his other pockets. As if on cue, Jane appeared at the door and walked purposely towards Cho with his hand outstretched. Cho grabbed his phone from Jane's hand.

Jane pointed at it and then stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Boss has been trying to reach you," he said glibly.

"Next time check in with me before you take Jane to follow a lead," instructed Lisbon.

"Yes, boss. Won't happen again." He glared at Jane, then walked the suspect to the SUV and secured him in the backseat.

"Hey, Lisbon, what brings you out here?" Jane asked innocently.

"You okay?"

He touched the end of his nose lightly. "Never better. I told you this would be an easy one."

"That remains to be seen," she said evasively.

"Oh please, if this guy had been on our interview list yesterday, this case would already be wrapped up." He leaned forward. "Obvious."

She shrugged. "I don't see it."

"You will." He brushed past her and got into the passenger side of her car.

Lisbon sighed and looked over at Cho's SUV. Cho raised a hand in a brief wave. He was ready to go. Lisbon waved back and got into her car. Jane had slightly reclined his seat and was curled away from her, his eyes closed.

"Jane?" she asked, considering broaching their conflict. It was a long trip back.

"Tick tock, Lisbon," he mumbled, not moving from his position.

She pursed her lips and switched to a safer topic. "You took Cho's phone, you shut me out, Jane. This is my job."

"Cho had no problem handling this. He's a good agent."

"I'm not denying that, but it wasn't your call. We can't let our personal issues affect our work. That's what the rules are for."

"Would you have driven out here if we hadn't fought last night? Is this really the best use of your time?" He still hadn't opened his eyes, but he gestured to the now empty parking spot next to them. "Cho's getting ahead of you."

She sighed again and put the car into drive. Jane slept the whole way back to the office.

X

Back at the CBI, Van Pelt and Rigsby had compiled a complete file on Glenn Dorman. Cho ran him through processing, then stuck him in an interrogation room before coming out to check in with the team.

Cho flipped through the file, then looked at Jane. "What's the angle on this one?"

Jane rocked back on his heels. "Do you know what one of the the hottest toy crazes is right now?"

"No."

"Slime," he drew out every letter in the word with a flourish. "You can get it in all sorts of colors and consistencies, glitter, glow in the dark. You can even make your own. Sky's the limit."

"Okay." Cho glanced at the team and saw they were equally confused. "What's that got to do with our case?"

Jane grinned and spread his hands theatrically. "Everything. Let's go get a confession." He motioned for Cho to follow and walked off towards interrogation.

Cho looked to Lisbon. She thought for a moment, then nodded her assent. "Might as well see where's he's going with it. He's usually right," she conceded.

"He's been weird though lately, right?" asked Rigsby.

"Something about this makes sense to him. If it's a win, it's a step towards normal," Lisbon pointed out.

"What if it's not?" intoned Cho.

Lisbon sighed. "Then I take the fallout. You want this interview?"

Cho studied her briefly. "Yeah, I got this one."

The whole team walked together to the interrogation room. Jane was waiting impatiently and Cho pushed through the door, letting him follow. The others filed into the adjoining room to observe.

Ten minutes later Jane had outlined his theories and scored a confession. Cho stayed to finalize some details while Jane stood triumphantly and walked out. Rigsby and Van Pelt came out from observation to return to their desks.

"Impressive, man," Rigsby complimented him.

"You nailed him," added Van Pelt.

Jane nodded and waited for them to pass. Lisbon showed up next and he fell in beside her, his hand at the small of her back. "You put all that together from a few notes?" she asked.

He half shrugged, enjoying the praise. "I did tell you it would be an easy one."

They arrived at her office and Jane followed her in. "You closed it," she stated as she shut the door behind them. They stood awkwardly in the middle of her office. The blinds were down and they had a small amount of privacy.

Jane rubbed his thumb along the side of his finger and nodded. "It's closed," he echoed.

"I…" she started, then hesitated. She found her resolve and started again. "I went by your place last night."

"Oh?"

"I thought about waiting for you, but -" She deflated a little. "Is that really where you live, or did you give HR a fake address?"

He smiled weakly. "There's a reason we always go to your place, Lisbon."

She nodded and looked down at her feet. "I also figured out why you've been out of sorts lately."

"You've been busy," he murmured and looked away. He inhaled a sharp breath. "I've been doing better, but sometimes…"

Lisbon waited a minute, then asked softly. "How old would she have been?"

He blinked a few times and swallowed thickly. "Eleven."

Silence grew between them. Lisbon cleared her throat. "How often do you use me to forget?"

He looked up and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. He stepped towards her. "I don't-"

She moved away, staying out of his reach. "Because I'm fine with casual, I like our arrangement, but I don't think I could handle that, Jane. I'm not-"

"Lisbon. Teresa!" he cut through her ramblings. "You're not a distraction, or a replacement. It's never been casual for me. But I'm also not exactly looking to move on. I'm just.. I'm just trying to get through each day. And having you in my life… it helps. A lot. I really wasn't looking for our usual arrangement last night. I like spending time with you and I needed a friend. I tried to clear your schedule and fit into your rules. But it didn't work out."

Lisbon wiped at her eyes. "And I was stuck in boss mode."

He moved closer and she let him. "You're a great boss," he affirmed, reaching up to trace a single tear off her cheek.

"No, a good boss listens to her team. We all have triggers, and we all have bad days. I shouldn't have gotten defensive. It's just that you break so many rules on the job-"

"But I don't when it's important," he interrupted. "I know the boundaries are important to you, Teresa."

She tried a smile. "I know. I should have recognized the difference. I'm sorry."

"Forgiven," he stated, wrapping his arms around her. Her arms were trapped against his chest, but she breathed in his scent and relaxed against him.

"Did we just have our first fight?" she asked.

He chuckled. "We fight all the time," he pointed out.

She pulled back. "You know what I mean," she huffed. "When did this become a relationship?" she sounded slightly offended at the idea.

Jane smiled at her gently. "We're not sleeping together in a void, Teresa. We work together very closely. As much as you try to avoid it, one affects the other."

She kissed him. It was a chaste pressing of their mouths, but the fact it was in her office, with their coworkers on the other side of these walls… it took his breath away.

She pulled back and looked up at him, pleased that she knocked him off balance. "Come over tonight?"

He fought to recover. "I'd like that."

"Good. Now, I have some paperwork to do. Get me some coffee?"

He held her gaze. "A hot beverage is definitely in order," he agreed.

"Coffee, Jane. I want coffee. The good stuff."

His eyes twinkled. "Yes, ma'am." He leaned in. "A kiss for the road?"

She glared at him, but without much heat to it. "Don't push it." She suddenly looked earnest. "Jane… whenever I'm home, you're welcome there."

He rested his forehead against hers, his breathing suddenly loud and slightly ragged. "Thank you." He pulled back and they smiled shyly at each other. He couldn't resist swooping in for a quick kiss. Then he stepped back before things could get out of hand. "Coffee," he stated. She nodded. He turned towards the door and schooled his features. He tugged on his lapels, straightening his jacket. Then he shrugged himself into motion and strode out of her office.

He walked out to the bullpen and stopped, putting one hand on Rigsby's desk for attention. "I'm going on a coffee and pizza run. What does everyone want?"

Cho put his phone back on the receiver noisily. "It'll have to wait, we caught one." He stood up and went to inform Lisbon. Jane looked after him forlornly.

"It never stops," Rigsby muttered, quickly straightening the paperwork on his desk.

"You okay, Jane?" asked Van Pelt carefully.

Jane straightened and shrugged. "It's the job," he stated. "Let's get this started so we can go home tonight." He followed Cho.

Rigsby raised his eyebrows and shared a look with Van Pelt. "That almost sounded normal."

"He's back," she grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How quickly things change when Lisbon's life is threatened. Early season 2, Bosco part 1

Lisbon slapped the button to silence her alarm clock, then rolled away from it towards the middle of the bed. She inhaled deeply and stretched. She would never get used to her sheets smelling like Jane.

She padded into her bathroom and brushed her teeth, her gaze lingering on the second toothbrush. In the shower she was confronted with an abundance of shampoo, conditioner, and masculine soap. After she cleaned up, she reached blindly for a towel. The first one she found was already wet. She frowned and wiped the water out of her eyes to find a dry one. Fresh towel wrapped securely around her, she opened her closet. She moved two pinstriped suits aside to find the clothes she wanted.

She felt a headache coming on.

Dressed in her usual work attire, Lisbon went downstairs to the kitchen. As she came within sight, Jane hopped up from his spot at the table and poured her a fresh cup of coffee. He beamed at her as he worked, his curls highlighted by the sun coming through the window. He held the mug aside as he leaned in to press a long kiss to the corner of her mouth. Lisbon reveled in the greeting, and smiled as he presented the mug with a flourish. She inhaled the smell of her coffee, prepared just the way she liked it. "Good morning," she purred and pressed her lips to the rim of the mug.

Jane watched her with amusement. "Did you want a moment alone?" he teased, looking pointedly at her mug.

She hit him playfully and leaned back against the counter to enjoy her drink. Jane smiled and retrieved his own teacup from the table before mirroring her actions at the counter across from her. He sipped at it. "Can I make you some breakfast?" he offered.

She shook her head. "I have to get to work. Rigsby and I are following a lead first thing."

Jane's brow furrowed. "The co-worker?"

"No, we're checking out a warehouse."

"What warehouse?"

Lisbon paused. "Right, you left early. We're just following the evidence trail."

"Need me to come along?"

"Not your skill set."

"Ah, it's a bulletproof vest affair." He paused slightly and tried to appear unaffected, but Lisbon knew him too well. "Cho going too?"

She narrowed her eyes slightly. "We can handle it. You don't need to worry."

"Who said I was worried? Warehouses are big, throw more people at it."

She rolled her eyes and changed the subject. She pointed to his cup, an ornate delicate design — definitely not from her collection. "Did you go back to your place recently?"

"Yeah. I picked up a few things."

"During working hours?"

"Naturally." He paused, his teacup poised halfway to his mouth, studying her. "What's on your mind?"

Lisbon sighed. "I'm really okay, Jane."

He finished the tea and set the cup down on the saucer on the counter. "I know."

"I mean, you haven't left me alone since…" she gestured with her hand towards him, not wanting to say the words. Jane nodded his understanding. Since he shot Hardy. "It's been two weeks. I'm okay, I'm fine. Nothing happened. And it's starting to look like you're moving in here."

Jane's face dropped. He suddenly looked near tears and avoided her gaze, his knuckles white as he gripped the edge of the counter. Lisbon froze with uncertainty. He swallowed hard and his eyes skittered back to hers. "If I hadn't been there," he whispered.

She set aside her coffee and closed the space between them. She hovered there awkwardly. "It's a dangerous job, Jane. But I'm trained for it, the whole team is. We watch each other's backs. And you were there. You didn't even hesitate to-" She paused. "I know what you lost by killing him, Jane."

He reached out and pulled her into his embrace, folding himself so he could rest his head on her shoulder. She melted into him. "I would do it again," he croaked. "Nothing is worth losing you."

She thought about his own reckless actions that eventful day, how he had apparently been willing to die if it meant she got Red John. "It goes both ways, you idiot. You understand that, don't you?"

He nodded against her and they stayed that way for a long moment. Eventually Lisbon untangled herself and stepped back half a step. "Um, Jane? Are you living here?"

"Hmm?" he stalled.

She looked at him evenly. "You know you're welcome. But your stuff is taking over."

He blinked at her, his expression blank. "I don't have a lot of stuff."

She tried a smile, but it was tight. "That's why it's noteworthy."

"I thought you didn't like my hotel."

"I don't. But people usually talk to each other before moving in together. Are you living here, Jane?" she repeated.

He sandwiched one of her hands between his own. He rubbed circles on the back of her hand with one thumb and let the fingers of his other hand trail across the pulse point of her wrist. "Actually, I have been meaning to discuss this with you." Lisbon's eyes widened and she started to pull away, but he calmly held her hand tighter until she relaxed again. "We have a good thing going here. I help with the cooking and cleaning, let you hold the remote control. I back off and do my own thing when you need your space. I understand your schedule and enjoy pampering you after the long hours at work. And I keep your bed warm," he added suggestively. He stepped in and nuzzled her neck. "It's nice having someone to come home to. Let's make it official."

He started to kiss her neck and she held his elbows to keep some space between them. "You only give me the remote because you have other ways to manipulate what's on the screen. If I have to watch Gone With the Wind one more time—"

"It's a classic," Jane chuckled against her skin. "You still haven't seen the end of it."

"Who has time for a four hour movie in their life?"

"Lots of people."

She lost herself in the sensation of his kiss for a moment while she collected her thoughts. "Jane? What about Red John?" she asked gently.

"What about him?"

"It's like you've been working on the case more since we lost it. You've been acting paranoid. You really think moving in here is the best next step?"

Jane sighed and pulled back. He looked at her neutrally, then shrugged and tried to keep the mood light. "Straight to the big guns, okay. Red John isn't done with us just because we don't have the case. In fact, that stunt a couple weeks ago at the farm proved that he's engaged with me - playing a game. We can't afford to let our guard down. That's why I've been switching cars when I come over here." He sighed, dropping his mask again, showing his earnestness. "Thing is, it's all uncertain. We don't know what he knows. I'll continue to be careful, but if I backed off from this relationship now it would just make us both worried and irritable. Life is too short, I want to be with you."

Lisbon raised her eyebrows. "So… to be clear. Do you want to live with me because of your deep abiding love for me and a strong desire to keep moving this relationship forward? Or because you've been reminded we are all mortal and you think you need to protect me?"

"Are those my only choices?" his voice was high, slightly mocking. She glared at him and he looked away and shook his head. "A little of both."

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jane-" she admonished.

"But I do love you." He traced a finger on her cheek and Lisbon moved to catch his hand and hold it there. She met his intense gaze. "You do know that, don't you?"

Her heart fluttered at his words. They didn't talk about love. She had only said it now to make her point stronger, she hadn't really thought it through. They had grown very close over the last few months since she had relaxed her rules. They spent most weekends together when they were in town, and the occasional weeknight between cases. The encounter with Hardy had only served to sharpen their perspective. The last two weeks hadn't exactly been difficult. She just felt the need to reorient, reorder, go back to normal. No, she had no reason to doubt his feelings, but the idea also terrified her for reasons she couldn't explain. She nodded carefully.

"I understand if you need some space, Teresa. I can go back to my place tonight if that's what you want." His voice was low, mesmerizing.

Lisbon exhaled. "No." She turned her head and kissed his palm. "It's not that I don't want you around. Living together - it's a big step."

"Not so big," he countered. He moved in to kiss her more thoroughly, but she stepped back.

"I need to think about it." She felt his unwavering gaze on her as she checked the time. "I'm late. We'll talk tonight?"

"Sure you don't want me to come along? You know I look good in a vest."

She smiled and kissed him swiftly. "I'll see you later. Don't be late just because I'm out of the office."

"Yes, Boss." He stood to attention and gave her a mock salute as she left.

X

Thirty minutes later Jane sauntered into the bullpen holding a small paper bag. He posed himself dramatically by Van Pelt's desk and leaned sideways like he was trying to see into the far bank of offices. "Lisbon not in yet?" he asked.

She barely glanced up from her typing. "She's out with Rigsby."

He rocked back on his heels and bounced. "Oh. Guess I'll save this for later." He held up the bag.

Cho turned to him. "Did you bring pastries for the rest of us?"

"Sorry, Cho. If I had known Rigsby was out… Next time."

"Whatever." He looked back at his paperwork.

Jane sidled closer to Cho's desk. "What's the lead?"

Cho let his pen drop and leaned back in his chair. "Tox screens came back. Possible drug connection. GPS on the vic's phone showed an empty warehouse as a regular stopping place. Worth checking out."

Jane's eyes moved back and forth as he arranged details in his mind. "Why am I just hearing this now?"

"It came through late afternoon. You were off somewhere." He picked up his pen again. "This is standard police work, Jane. Connect the dots."

Jane was tapping his lip now. "More like puzzle pieces. Starting to see the big picture." He dropped his hand and looked back and forth between the two agents. "This doesn't feel like a set up to either of you?" He got the short answer from their expressions, then turned his back on them to study the white board outlined with suspects and evidence associated with their case.

"No," answered Cho.

"How could it be?" added Van Pelt. "It's driven by the evidence. GPS data was collected over several months." She glanced at Cho to back her up. "No signs of tampering."

"Why would the killer leave the phone behind if it had evidence on it? It could have been planted."

"It fell between the seats of the victim's car, he left it behind for the meet. Why would a dealer plant evidence that could be traced back to him?" Cho countered.

"How do you know it has anything to do with a drug dealer?" He looked sideways at a close up picture of the victim's tattoo. He tapped it. Cho and Van Pelt got up from their desks and joined him by the board. "This tattoo… It's been added to. If you take away this line and this bit here," he took a dry erase marker and made a rough sketch of his changes, then looked at Cho. "What does that look like?"

Cho pressed his lips together grimly. "Flaming Jackals."

"Flaming Jackals," Jane confirmed. "By all appearances this guy got out. He landed a good job and he was doing everything right. Except he was really a double agent. He was reporting on rival gang activity."

"It got him killed," stated Cho. "So which gang is implicated at this warehouse?"

"I really couldn't care less," Jane said and pulled out his phone. He flipped it open and pressed a button. "Come on," he muttered as it rang. His first call transferred to voice mail and he pressed another button. The room was suddenly tense as his calls went unanswered. "They're not answering. Where is this warehouse?"

The agents snapped into action. "I'm calling for backup," stated Van Pelt.

Cho grabbed his gun from a desk drawer and strapped it on his hip. He pointed at Jane. "Keep calling them. You get through, call me."

He turned away, but Jane was on his heels, his phone up to his ear. "I'm coming with you."

Cho shook his head, but kept walking. They didn't have time to argue.

They were waiting for the elevator when Van Pelt rushed after them, her quick, echoing footsteps alerting them to her urgency. They turned to her and she called across the lobby, "Rigsby just called. Lisbon's been shot."

X

There was blood on Rigsby's shirt. Jane had worked out a path across the front of the room and paced back and forth like a determined tiger. Every time he turned he paused and his eyes were drawn to the red spatter. He scowled.

Rigsby leaned forward and placed his head in his hands, hiding the worst of it. Van Pelt put her hand on his arm, her movement restricted by the vacuum formed plastic chairs in the waiting room. Cho was standing by the vending machine, waiting for coffee. Minelli sat apart from the group, staring searchingly at the ceiling.

Bosco wandered in and sat next to Rigsby. Minelli moved to the row of chairs behind them. "Any news?"

"Nah," answered Bosco. "No changes, she's stitched up and getting tests." He paused and Cho sat down nearby with his coffee. "You know, Lisbon got shot during one of her first cases in San Francisco. Right about here," he pointed to a spot on his own hip. "Small caliber, but it kept her benched for awhile. She was so green. She was also a fighter. She taught us all something about spirit and determination. We pretty much had to baby-sit her at home to keep her out of the office for recovery."

Jane blinked and tuned him out. He knew the story. He knew her scar. Intimately. He walked the short distance to the far wall and focused on his breathing. Calm. Step, step, breathe, turn.

"Bosco," he acknowledged. The man had snuck up behind him, blocking his path.

"Would you sit down?" the stocky agent sounded exasperated. He pointed towards the others suggestively.

Jane plucked at the front of his suit and stood taller. "I'd rather not, thanks all the same." He sidestepped the man and continued on his path.

"We're all worried about her," Bosco called after him.

"I didn't say otherwise." He counted his steps, concentrating on maintaining a steady pace.

"Let him walk, Bosco. It doesn't bother us," stated Rigsby tiredly.

"I just think maybe if he's gotta walk, he should walk somewhere else. Somewhere less disruptive."

Jane half turned, weary. "You want me to leave? You don't think I belong here."

"Got it in one," Bosco smirked.

"Not cool, man," said Cho.

"Can you give this macho thing a rest, Bosco? My partner got shot." He turned back and kept walking.

"She's not your partner. She's your boss."

"We work together — closely."

"Then why'd you let her get shot?"

Jane pulled up short. Breathe. He exhaled slowly.

"Can it, Bosco, he wasn't even there," Minelli called out sternly.

"Oh, and why was that?" Bosco pushed.

Jane drew a hand down over his face and his voice came out ragged. "I'm not a cop."

Bosco held his hand up to his ear dramatically. "I didn't catch that, could you say it louder?"

Jane turned where he stood. His gaze was ice, his hands clenched tightly. He forced his fingers open one at a time, then smiled cruelly. "Why are you here, Bosco?"

Bosco turned and smiled at the others like it was a stupid question, then looked back at Jane and spread his hands wide. "We're colleagues. Why wouldn't I be here?"

Jane strode toward him slowly, deliberately. Bosco held his ground. "Her team is here. Her boss is here. What are you to her?"

"I have more right to be here than you. We go way back."

His voice was cruelly calm and quiet, his words only for Bosco. "It's hard for you, being so close to her again. She has her own team now, she doesn't need you. She doesn't look up to you with those innocent, alluring eyes anymore. You followed her here, but she doesn't see you." Jane stopped, toe to toe with him. He was nearly whispering now. "What do you tell yourself at night to justify your dirty little thoughts? What do you tell your wife?"

Bosco stabbed him in the chest with one accusatory finger. "You are out of line."

"She will never be yours," Jane growled.

Bosco's face screwed up in anger. He tensed and drew back his arm, but Minelli was faster. He came up behind him and hooked Bosco's arm to yank him off balance. "Enough. Take a walk," Minelli insisted. Bosco shook himself and backed up, maintaining eye contact with Jane. Jane grinned at him, then switched to an innocent, thoughtful expression when Minelli moved into his line of sight. "I don't like this friction I'm seeing - and don't tell me Bosco started it. He'll get his own reprimand."

"Meh. He's never going to like me."

"He doesn't need to. But you could give him a chance to respect you, understand what you do."

"You could just order him to keep me in the loop about Red John."

"I took the case from you for a reason. You need some space."

"I disagree."

"Noted. But this isn't about Red John. It's about Lisbon. She'll be fine, Jane. All these tests are just precautionary."

Jane slumped and ran a hand through his hair. "I know."

Minelli looked at him carefully. "You can't possibly blame yourself for this."

Jane shrugged one shoulder noncommittally and stared past him as a doctor entered the waiting room. The young man was in clean scrubs and flipped some papers down on a clipboard before addressing the room. "Who's here for Teresa Lisbon?"

The entire group stood and moved towards him. "Hold on." He consulted his clipboard again. "Is one of you Virgil Minelli?"

"That's me," Minelli raised one hand.

"She's been admitted to a room and can have visitors. You can come in first, then the rest if she is up to it. Follow me."

X

Minelli consulted with the doctor in Lisbon's room for a few minutes, then retrieved the rest of them from the hall.

They filed into the room. The blinds were mostly closed, keeping the room dim. The were no balloons or flowers to cheer the space, it was just dismal and gray.

Jane had his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets and hung out at the back of the group. The head of the bed was raised and Lisbon's eyes were closed. She looked small, her dark hair fanned out on the pillow. Her left shoulder was bandaged and held close to her body with a sling. One cheek had a nasty bruise. Jane watched her like a hawk, taking in every detail, but ultimately content to just watch her breathe.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Hey, boss," Van Pelt said gently.

Lisbon held herself unnaturally still. Her eyes swept the room, then she closed them again. "Hey guys. Thanks for coming." Her voice was small and tired, not the Lisbon they were used to.

"Of course," assured Rigsby.

"You too tired, Boss? Want us to come back later?" Cho asked.

"No. Just hurts to move. Minelli can tell you," she trailed off.

"There was a lot of cross fire at the warehouse. One shot grazed her shoulder. It will need careful monitoring, but she got lucky. The vest did it's job and stopped multiple bullets. The impact cracked three ribs. Doesn't help that when she went down, someone ran up and started kicking her. He's dead," he added succinctly. "The rest of the gang fled the scene. Tests revealed no complications, but she'll be out of the office for a month while those ribs heal."

Everyone was silent as he finished explaining her injuries.

Bosco cleared his throat. "Glad you're okay, Teresa."

"Bosco?" she questioned, opening her eyes again. He leaned into her line of sight. "You came?"

"Of course. Someone had to warn the hospital staff that you'll be trying to bust out of here prematurely."

She smiled, then closed her eyes and grimaced in pain. She swallowed. "Is Jane here? Jane?"

He made his way to her bedside. "Didn't they give you the good stuff?"

"Yeah, it's still kicking in." Her hand was grasping for him and he gently took hold of it. She cracked open one eye. "I'm glad you weren't there." He didn't hold back his pained expression. "It was a mad house, bullets flying everywhere."

"This is supposed to help me feel better?" he tried to tease her.

"Rigsby had my back this time," she assured him. "We didn't know what we were walking in to."

"He'll be commended," Minelli interjected.

"Just doing my job," said Rigsby. "Glad you're okay, Boss."

"Jane figured it out, we tried to call," Cho piped up.

"It was too late," Jane said, pained.

"Not. Your. Fault." Lisbon stressed, her eyes closed again.

"We'll let you rest," Minelli stated, gesturing the others towards the door.

"How long you in for?" asked Bosco.

"Not long. Maybe tomorrow."

"That long?" Jane asked sarcastically.

"Can't do anything for ribs. They're only keeping me here to monitor my shoulder."

"You're going to need some help getting around at home." Bosco stated. "I think someone should stay with you for a couple days."

"You volunteering yourself, Bosco?" Jane asked, slightly threateningly. Lisbon opened her eyes again, surprised at his tone.

"Don't be an ass. I was going to suggest Van Pelt."

Jane tightened his grip on her hand. Lisbon tried to squeeze back, but wasn't sure he felt it. "I don't think that's necessary," she protested.

"I'd be happy to do it, boss," Van Pelt assured her.

"Good. That's settled then," Bosco smiled.

Jane pulled away, patting her hand gently. He smiled at her, then nodded his reassurance before following the others out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bosco part 2

Lisbon didn't remember much of her stay at the hospital. She didn't remember much of the ride home either. Shortly after the team had left, a nurse came in with more medication and she alternated between sleep and a blissful haze. Now as she settled onto her couch, she winced and realized she was probably due for some more pain killers. Van Pelt bustled about her living room, moving furniture to clear a wide path to the bathroom.

She stared into space for a couple minutes, but as she became more aware of where she was, Lisbon started to panic. She had a sudden urge to race through her apartment and hide every evidence of Jane. She struggled to stand up, her heartbeat loud in her ears. She couldn't get the right leverage without her ribs stabbing in pain. She cried out and straightened herself, grimacing.

Van Pelt rushed to her. "You okay, boss?"

"Yeah," Lisbon said tightly.

She pushed some pillows behind Lisbon to help support her back. "Need me to get your pills?"

"Yeah," she repeated lamely.

"You just sit tight, I'll bring it to you. I'm here to help. After dinner I'll help you get up and walk around the room. Take it easy." She patted the pillows into place and went to the kitchen.

Lisbon tried to take some deep calming breaths, but it hurt to breathe. She leaned back carefully. The doorbell rang and Van Pelt appeared again. She checked the peephole, then pulled the door open. "Hey, Jane. You bringing dinner tonight?"

Lisbon perked up. Jane held up a foil pan and smiled. "Yep, just toss this in the oven, keep it warm until you're ready. Salad is in the bag."

"Thanks. Lisbon is ready for some meds, wanna trade?"

"Sure."

Lisbon relaxed and was rewarded with the sight of Patrick Jane smiling down at her. He looked slightly rumpled, and his smile wasn't quite full strength, but she realized in this moment how much she had missed him. "Hey," she greeted him.

"Hey yourself." He held up a glass of water. "You ready for your pills?"

"Yes, please."

He put them into her hand, then handed her the water when she was ready. He sat carefully on the coffee table so they could look at each other without turning. He put a hand gently on her knee and she tensed slightly, then looked towards the kitchen. Jane got the message and slid his hand away. Lisbon looked back at him. "What about your stuff?" she whispered. "She's going to figure out you've been staying here."

"I took care of it," he said succinctly.

"All of it? When?"

"Yesterday. After we left the hospital. She won't even find a tea bag."

She sighed. "Why did Bosco have to stick his nose in it?"

"It was a good idea, you should have help."

"You could do it."

"Happily. But it's probably for the best. They sent around a sign up sheet for meals. Your house is going to be a revolving door for the CBI for awhile."

Lisbon screwed up her nose in distaste.

"Hey, a lot of people care about you. It's a good thing. And I'm used to sneaking around. It won't keep me away," he assured her. She smiled at him sleepily. "No snappy comeback? What's in those pills?"

"I'm glad you're here, Jane."

He smiled back. "Me too. And I don't want to go, but I shouldn't linger. It's too easy to slip up here. I'll let you girls have some time." He winked at her frown, then stood and pressed a long kiss to her forehead. "You ready for some dinner? I can help Van Pelt get it ready."

"That sounds good. Where will you go tonight?"

"I have a place." He reminded her. He squeezed her good shoulder, then walked back to the kitchen.

Van Pelt was tossing the salad in a bowl, lost in her thoughts.

"She's hungry. What can I do to help?"

"Oh, thanks, Jane. I think I saw the plates in that cupboard." She pointed him in the right direction and Jane got to work. "You're not going to join us?" she frowned when he only set out two dishes.

"No. I don't want to intrude. She's vulnerable right now."

Van Pelt sighed. "I know. I was hoping to have a bit of a buffer. I don't know what to talk about."

Jane shrugged. "Pick out a movie. You'll have some entertainment and she won't feel as much obligation as a host. Keep it low key and she might even fall asleep."

Van Pelt thought about it and made a noise of approval. "Thanks, Jane."

He nodded at her and finished dishing up some hot lasagna. "How long are you taking off work?"

"I put in for two days. We'll see from there."

"Thanks, Grace."

"I'm glad I could help. Thanks for bringing dinner."

After Jane left, Van Pelt carried their loaded plates to the living room and set them on the coffee table.

"You feel like watching a movie?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure. My collection is over there."

Van Pelt ran her fingers over the DVDs. One was sticking out a bit and she tugged on it. She was surprised Lisbon owned this one, but it seemed like the perfect choice. "How about Gone With the Wind?"

Lisbon had just taken a drink. She swallowed hard, then coughed, then tensed in pain.

"You okay, boss?"

"Not that one," Lisbon said hoarsely. Van Pelt looked at her in concern, but put the DVD back without comment. Lisbon smiled tightly. She wished Jane was still here so she could smack him.

X

With Van Pelt's help, Lisbon settled into a good routine for her recovery. On the second day, Lisbon had to concede that it was causing stress to have a member of her team missing work to help her. She primarily needed help to stand up, for prescribed exercise and also personal needs. Her insurance covered some in-home care. They arranged for someone to come in the mornings and stay through lunch, just for the next few workdays. They also set up some support frames by her couch and in the bathroom so she could have some independence.

The next morning with the aide went smoothly. She spent her first afternoon alone sleeping in front of the TV, eating snacks, and exchanging the occasional text with Jane. She was relieved when the doorbell rang late afternoon. This was going to be a very long month of recovery.

She shuffled to the door and checked the peephole, then pulled it open. "Did you lose your key?"

Jane had a shopping bag in each hand and pushed his way inside. Lisbon secured the door behind him and followed him gingerly to the kitchen. Jane set the bags down and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Just making sure you're getting your exercise, dear."

"And what if I was stuck on the couch?"

"I would have let myself in, of course. But it's good to know you are capable."

"Gee, thanks."

Jane moved in to kiss her, catching her off guard. He pulled back quickly, just a tease. She opened her eyes slowly, craving more. Jane was bustling around her kitchen, putting things away. Lisbon blinked and shifted so she could lean against the counter. "What'd you bring me?"

"Some staples people won't think to include with dinner - salad dressing, fruit, favorite snacks, ice cream. Some toiletries too." He lifted up a plastic bottle. "Got you some dry shampoo to try. But I'd be happy to help you with a bath later."

She self consciously ran her fingers through her hair. The aide had offered to help her, but it was all too weird. "Bath sounds good," she declared.

Jane folded the empty bags and stood beside her to kiss her cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess. Still hurts, but it's manageable. Just as long as I don't cough or sneeze."

"Good to hear. It's been strange at the office without you."

"Staying out of trouble I hope?"

"Nothing much to do, I've been hanging out on my couch, wishing I was here."

Lisbon felt a pang of jealousy — he could have been hanging out on her couch. But she couldn't suggest that he skip work. He would make a habit of it, then the team would be short staffed again and might investigate where he was going. It was a slippery slope. "Well, you're here now," she assured him. She smiled and he leaned in again. The doorbell rang. He stepped back.

"That should be dinner," he said.

"You didn't bring dinner?"

"I wanted to sign up for every night, but decided that would look suspicious." He flashed a grin at her and walked to her front door. "Bosco!" he exclaimed. "And this must be your lovely wife."

"Mandy," a feminine voice supplied.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Patrick. Come in, come in," Jane exclaimed and led them inside.

"What are you doing here, Jane?" Bosco asked as they walked.

"It was Lisbon's first afternoon alone, just wanted to make sure her fridge was well stocked and everything is okay."

"Funny, 'cause I thought that's why we were here?"

They had gathered around Lisbon in the kitchen. "Isn't it great to have so many people looking out for you?" he asked her cheerfully.

"Yes, thanks so much for coming," Lisbon forced a smile. It looked more genuine as she turned to Bosco's wife. "It's good to see you again, Mandy."

"It's been too long," the matronly brunette smiled back. "How are you feeling? Bosco cracked a rib once, it was dreadful."

"I'm doing all right. Still kicking."

Jane took a bag from Mandy and peeked inside. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Oh, we couldn't possibly."

"Nonsense. This looks tasty. Lisbon's been alone for awhile, I bet she could use the company."

"Of course," Lisbon responded politely. "It would be great to catch up with you." She straightened and winced.

"Bosco, why don't you take Lisbon to the living room and help her with her meds while Mandy and I get dinner ready?"

Lisbon took her cue and shuffled back to her couch. Bosco glared at Jane, but dutifully followed. He stood awkwardly as she opened her own medication and swallowed the pills with bottled water. She settled against her pillows and raised her eyebrows at him. "You can sit anywhere," she suggested.

He sat in the chair opposite her. He was still glowering.

"Bad day?" she asked.

He exhaled and smiled weakly. "I guess I wasn't expecting Jane to be here."

"Oh." She echoed his smile. "The whole team has been keeping tabs on me. He got here about five minutes before you — he's been checking in throughout the day and put together a shopping list. He just stopped by to help me out."

"You sure that's all it is?" When her face fell, he hurried to continue. "I swear, the way he looks at you sometimes."

"How is that?" she asked cautiously, curious.

"You've seen it. He's got this possessive twinkle," he fluttered his fingers and looked at her sideways while doing something weird with his eyes. "Caveman."

Lisbon struggled to keep a straight face. "I don't know what you mean," she said evenly.

Bosco looked about the room. "What's with these boxes? Jane moving in?"

"They are my boxes," she said, slightly defensive. "I don't usually spend much time at home, I figured I would use this opportunity to sort through some things. Van Pelt got them out of storage for me and I'll get to them when I'm a little more mobile."

He looked away. "Sorry. I guess it was a bit of a leap."

"Yes. And inappropriate. Jane and I work together."

He looked at her intensely. "I don't understand the dynamic."

"So you think the only reason I would keep him around is if we're sleeping together?" Lisbon put on her most incredulous face. "Come on, Bosco. You know me better than that."

"Yeah, well. You're full of surprises. Granted, I don't know why you would want to sleep with him in the first place, arrogant prick that he is. But I suppose he has a certain appeal with the ladies. Maybe if he caught you on a bad day, or —"

Bosco's rambling line of reasoning caught Lisbon off guard. "Stop." He snapped his mouth shut and she took a moment to compose herself. "These kinds of rumors have followed me my whole career. They don't really faze me anymore. But if you are feeding them, Sam — I can't hurt you myself right now, but I wouldn't have to look very far to get someone who would do it for me."

Bosco stopped fidgeting and looked a little ashamed. "I just don't know how you do it."

"Which part exactly? We're a team, we've been working together a long time."

"He can be such an ass."

She straightened carefully. "That's true. But he closes cases. He approaches things differently than the rest of us. Sometimes he causes some fallout, but I've learned how to respond to it. Most of the time."

"That's the thing, Teresa." Bosco leaned towards her. "You shouldn't have to deal with his fallout. He's unprofessional and he doesn't belong at the CBI. Let him make his messes somewhere else."

She closed her eyes as a headache started to form.

"Hope you fancy some tea as an appetizer," Jane strolled in holding two steaming mugs.

Lisbon's eyes flicked open again. "Where did you get tea?"

"I brought you a box. You should limit your caffeine now with all those meds."

She rolled her eyes and he looked at her in amusement. They paid no attention to Bosco's studying look. She took the mug he offered, then he turned to Bosco and handed off the other mug. "Dinner will be ready in five. I'm going to head out."

"You're not staying?" Bosco seemed surprised.

"I was just stopping by to drop off groceries. Don't want to get in the way of your visit. It was lovely to meet your wife, Bosco." He turned again. "You up for some football tomorrow, Lisbon?"

"Sure, you want me on offense or defense?"

Jane grinned. "The team wants to swing by and watch the game with you, if that's all right."

She looked stunned for just a moment, then nodded. "I'd like that."

"I'll call you later, settle the details." He winked at her on the side Bosco couldn't see.

Lisbon hid her smile behind her tea. "Sounds like a plan."

X

It was about two hours later that there was a light knock at her door followed by the sound of a key in the lock. Lisbon woke from a light doze and stayed on her couch. She looked expectantly towards the entryway. Jane appeared shortly and beamed at her. He made sure the door was locked, then made his way straight to her. He kissed her cheek and sat next to her, careful not to jostle her.

"What took you so long?" Lisbon glared at him.

"Good to see you too, dear. My previous visit was as your lowly consultant -"

She rolled her eyes. "You had to switch cars."

"Yep. And give Bosco time to clear out."

"Are you planning to spend the night?" she asked outright.

"If you'd like," he said softly.

"I've missed you," she ventured.

He held her hand. "I've missed you too."

"I suppose it is the weekend, I could use the company," she conceded.

He looked to the side and cleared his throat. "The team really is coming tomorrow."

"Right, the football game." She paused. "I miss them too, but I also really want things to go back to normal."

"That's going to take awhile," he straightened one of her pillows to make it clear he was referring to her injuries.

"No, I mean — that too, of course. I mean normal like you and me, having a weekend."

"Just the two of us."

"Yeah. Movies with your commentary, cozy dinners, lazy mornings in bed — I even miss doing chores with you."

"I like the sound of that." He sighed. "They know you, Teresa. Sitting here alone in pain, you'll go crazy. They want to help."

"But I wouldn't be alone."

"You want me to tell them that?"

She looked aside, a little ashamed. "No. It sounds nice. Bears are playing. You're coming too?"

"You couldn't keep me away."

Lisbon paused as she considered something. "You knew Bosco would be here tonight, didn't you? You wanted to be here when he showed up."

"Yeah," he admitted.

"What is it between you and him? He pretty much accused me of sleeping with you. I'm pretty sure he was fishing but…?"

"I didn't think he'd be so bold."

"Apparently you bring out the worst in him. Why did you come early if you didn't plan to stay for dinner?"

Jane rubbed a finger over his lips. "I'm playing a long game," he admitted. "I knew Bosco wouldn't make dinner, and his wife knows you from your time in San Francisco. So they came together. I spent some time charming her in the kitchen. Now when Bosco complains about me at home, she will defend me. A little bug in his ear. And then I left so he could feel like he got away with something. He got some quality time with you without me in the room. Did you have a nice visit?"

"Nice enough. I'm still confused. I know he didn't like you from the start, but it has escalated. Did you do something to him?"

"He feels threatened."

She blinked. "By you?"

"Yes. He obviously has feelings for you. I may have made my own accusations during a heated moment at the hospital."

"He… No. He's happily married, Jane. He's been with Mandy a long time."

"And she is lovely. He's not the cheating type, but he sees an alpha male hanging out with the woman he desires and can't help but feel threatened."

She could see the twinkle in his eye, she knew how to play this game. "Caveman was the word he used. I don't see it. You're good at prodding people, but you have no follow through."

"Nonsense. Not every alpha uses aggression. That's for young, testosterone laden boys with no finesse. I favor manipulation. And if I can't talk my way out of a situation, I have you to back me up." He considered her current state, then added, "Usually."

"You don't like sports, you only run when someone wants to hurt you, your favorite movie is apparently Gone With the Wind," she ticked off the imaginary boxes, then tilted her head in thought. "Maybe I'm the alpha."

"Hmm, a strong contender. You do command your team admirably. But you can't control me, so I still count the win."

"Hey, I control you just fine."

"Ah, but you fall back on physical methods - not all of them unpleasant I may add. But all useless in your current state of health. Even injured I can charm a room full of suckers."

"Amazing no one has broken your jaw to shut you up."

"I had one close call, years ago — a story for another day. I have since perfected my dodging technique, improving my alpha-ness."

"So… you dodge to put your nose in the way?" He chuckled and Lisbon continued. "Besides, don't alphas usually have a buzz of women around them?"

Jane nodded thoughtfully, then gestured to flick the idea away. "Very tiresome. I find all that noise annoying. I already have the only woman who matters."

He was looking at her with a mix of humor and unfiltered love. She was overwhelmed by it, it was intoxicating, she wanted this every day.

"You should live here," she breathed.

"With you?" he joked and was awarded with an eye roll. "I could be persuaded." His expression shifted slightly. "So… to be clear, would you want me to move in because of your undying love for me, or because you can't even stand up without help right now?"

"Ouch," she stated, her eyes clouded with confusion, the barb hitting a little too close to home.

He gripped her hands, suddenly intense. "Teresa, I very much want to live with you. If it was up to me, we would never leave this place, this safe zone." He exhaled raggedly. "I don't trust myself. I couldn't even give you your space when your life was only threatened, and now you're seriously injured. You've nearly died twice in as many weeks." His voice broke. "I am barely holding it together, and it killed me to go to work today instead of coming here. I just don't want you to look back in a month and realize you've been saddled with something you don't want."

"You keep talking about this injury like I'm suddenly a different person. I'm still here, doctors expect a full recovery. I will be fine."

"Still the same party line," he quipped. Pain radiated from his eyes.

"What do you want me to say, Jane? I'm a cop. There are risks, but I love my job."

"Yeah." He hung his head in defeat, it always came down to this.

"I hate to see you beating yourself up about this. My injury was not your fault. And I'm really glad you're here. Everyone has been very helpful, but I would be much happier if we could just get on it with it, the two of us. You're not smothering me. I've barely seen you in two days, and it was hell. Come back. It will be better for both of us."

Jane looked away, then regrouped. "Hey, that idiot gang banger that kicked you — who shot him? Rigsby or you?"

She stared him down. "I'm pretty sure we both did."

He quirked his lips and nodded. Lisbon was quiet as he mulled things over, but she continued looking at him intensely, like she was challenging him to do or say the wrong thing. She was not going to put up with his nonsense. After what seemed like forever, Jane turned back to her. A brief glance at her lips was the only warning she received before he kissed her.

The kiss was sweet and slow and he allowed her to take control. It had been days since she'd kissed him like this. Their lips moved together deliciously. Lisbon's tongue darted out to taste him, and Jane hummed in approval. She leaned into him, lifted one hand up into his hair, angled for better contact, then stiffened and pulled away as she was rewarded with a shooting pain in her chest.

Jane redirected his kiss to her forehead. "You okay?"

"Yeah." The worst of the pain passed and she looked at him, smiling at his swollen lips.

He kissed her carefully, then pulled back slightly. "Can I make a suggestion?"

She nodded.

"I can be here in my off hours — as often as you'll have me. I'll avoid dinner so there won't be any awkward questions with all these people traipsing through here. And it would be remiss of me as a secret boyfriend to leave evidence of myself all over your house, so I will be very discrete. I don't really have the option to fully move in at this moment, even if it's really what you want. So let's revisit the idea in a couple weeks. I want us both to be sure."

She didn't have to think long. "Sounds fair. But no slacking off work to spend more time here."

"My boss likes to know where I am," he deadpanned.

"Your boss likes to know you are staying out of trouble. I already have a deal with Cho. Behave."

Jane laughed lightly and couldn't resist kissing her one more time. He rested his forehead against hers. "What do you want to do first?" he asked suggestively. "Bath or Gone With the Wind?"

She twitched her head, making him move back. "What is it with you and this movie?"

"'And you, miss, are no lady… Don't think that I hold that against you. Ladies have never held any charm for me.'" Jane quoted, altering his voice.

"I think I remember that part."

"'You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.'"

"Hmm.. I like that idea."

He kissed her, then spoke against her lips. "'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'"

Lisbon laughed, then groaned in pain. She pushed against him. "Go start the bath."

"You have a month off work," he pointed out. "If you have time for football, you have time for a four hour movie."

"I'm sure you won't stop pestering me about it either."

"Hmm. No hurry. We'll fit it in… one of these days."

As Jane walked to her bathroom, he turned back to smile at her. Lisbon couldn't control the wide grin that stole over her features. Despite her injuries and all the uncertainties of the future, she liked the thought. One of these days. They would have time. Together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then there was heartbreak.

A noise broke through her consciousness. A thump and some muffled cursing. In her bedroom. Lisbon's eyes flew open, her cop instincts kicking in. It was still dark. A sharp pain shot through her head as she moved, and she closed her eyes again. Damn tequila. "Jane?" she asked hopefully, her voice rough with sleep.

"It's me," his voice assured her.

She relaxed. Fabric rustled as he removed his clothes. He usually took the time to put them away, it must be late. "What time is it?" she mumbled. It had been past ten when she got home, Jane had stayed behind at the office. It didn't feel like she had been sleeping long. The bed dipped and she rolled to face him, sliding her arm across his stomach. Hmm.. No pajamas, very late.

His hand met hers. He held it gently and brought it up to his chest to prevent it from wandering. He laced their hands together, his heart beating under her palm. "Five-thirty?" He guessed.

She propped up on one elbow, trying to see him in the dark. "Have you been looking at the Red John files this whole time?"

"Yes," he answered simply.

Lisbon sat up and twisted to turn on the bedside lamp, wincing at it's brightness. Her head was pounding. She sat up to drink some water from the glass she kept by her bed, then turned to Jane expectantly. She waited, her head bowed against the pain.

His own eyes were screwed tight against the sudden light. He cracked one open to peer at her. "We're talking about this now?" he asked.

She considered the question. This was a work matter in their home. This safe place reserved for their happiness. But Red John had fractured their lives yet again. Now, with Bosco dead and the case files available, she could feel the tendrils closing around Jane, changing their fine tuned dynamic. If she didn't set the boundaries now, she feared there would be more sleepless nights with an absent Jane. It needed to be addressed.

"The funeral was only yesterday, Jane. I understand you want to get back to it — I do," she insisted. "But you're not the only one on the case. It could wait until normal business hours."

Jane scrubbed at his face. "No, it couldn't. I need to get him, Teresa. What he did — and calling it a gift —"

Teresa diffused his rant with a calm, direct question. "Was there anything new?"

He expelled a breath. "Not really. A few new leads, already followed to the same dead end." He closed his eyes and settled an arm across them, blocking the light. "We have to get up in an hour. I was hoping for a little sleep."

"I'm surprised you bothered to come home at all," she muttered and turned to lean against the headboard.

Jane sighed in defeat and moved up next to her. "I almost didn't," he admitted.

Lisbon pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, almost surprised that there were no tears to hold back. She was cried out. "Why did he do it?" she whispered. She turned to him, her voice stronger. "You and Bosco were just starting to get along. He was sharing information with you." Jane remained silent, lost in his own thoughts. Lisbon barked a hollow laugh. "A couple of weeks ago, I caught Sam eating my meatball sub. When I called him out on it, he blamed you. He said you'd been sharing recipes with Mandy and she kept making him quinoa. I told him to eat your leftovers, but you brought a quinoa salad." She glanced at Jane and caught a small smile on his face. "Why don't you make me quinoa?" she asked, bumping his shoulder with her own.

He grimaced. "I don't like quinoa," he admitted. "Turns out Rigsby really will eat anything." They chuckled together. Then Jane's smile faded and his hand found hers, gripping it almost painfully. "I don't think I can keep doing this," he whispered. He looked down at their joined hands.

"Do what? The job?" she asked, concerned.

He shook his head and turned to look at her. He squeezed her hand, pulled her closer. His bare skin was warm and inviting. She leaned into him. "Sneak around with you," he said.

She pulled back to look at him, cocking her head in confusion. "You want to tell people about us?"

He blew out a breath. "No." He looked down.

"You gonna tell me?" she prompted gently.

"Bosco and his team — that was a message for me." Lisbon started to protest, but he waved her to silence. "He's watching me, wants to see my reaction. Wants to know how much it's affecting me that he killed them for my benefit." He spat out the last words in contempt.

"No one blames you, Patrick."

He shook his head again. "We're fooling ourselves. Rebecca was in the CBI for months, spying for him. If he doesn't know about us, it's only a matter of time."

"There's no indication that he knows. No one knows. We've been careful." She reached out and touched his cheek, turning his face towards her. "Don't punish yourself for this."

"He issued a challenge. I need to meet it. I need to focus, Teresa. I can't afford any distractions right now."

She felt a prickling of fear, but held out for anger. She forced herself to respond to his words, not the implications behind them. "Now I'm just a distraction?" His eyes were wild and desperate, but she could see the decision there, the sincerity.

Jane shook his head. "You are so important to me. These last couple months..." He sighed, then regrouped, rushing through the next words. "Loving you is so very easy. But it also makes you a target. I couldn't survive that again."

"We're careful, Jane. I know how to take care of myself." She had said these words so many times, she could almost feel them deflect off of Jane and bury under her skin. "You can't let Red John dictate our life. If he already knows, it's already too late. But he doesn't."

"We can't risk it anymore. Sooner I catch him, the sooner we can really live."

She sighed. There was no use correcting him that he didn't own the case. She tried another angle. "I've learned how to hide our relationship. Knowing that we'll have the time at home makes it all the easier to deny at work. But if this ends," she gestured between them, "the game will be up. He'll know for sure. If you walk away from this… I can't hide that. There's a good chance it will affect our working relationship, at least for awhile."

"We fight all the time." He paused, licked his lips. His eyes danced away for a moment and she knew his next words would hurt. She steeled herself against them, but they still cut deeply. "You just lost someone close to you. Lean on that, Teresa. Mask one grief with another." Tears welled up in her eyes and she gripped his arm tightly. The idiot really wanted to walk away. "You're the strongest person I know," he insisted. Lisbon closed her eyes against the pain in her heart, tears spilled down her cheeks silently. "You don't need me, you don't need anyone," he continued fervently, ignoring her uncharacteristic emotional outpouring. "You will learn a new way. We'll still be together at work, just not at home. We're a good team, we always have been. We'll keep catching the bad guys."

"That won't make it easier," she replied, her voice tight. She wiped at her cheeks roughly. "What you're suggesting," she paused, caught his gaze again. "What if we can't figure out how to be just friends again? What if I can't forgive you for this?"

"You've forgiven me for worse," it was barely more than a whisper, betraying his own emotions. He leaned in, kissed her forehead, lingered. "I will never stop loving you, Teresa Lisbon." They stayed like that for awhile, their faces hidden by their closeness. He kissed her hair, then pulled away, got out of bed and started to pull on his pants.

"Where are you going?" she asked, slightly panicked.

He slid his shirt on, did a few buttons, grabbed his vest. "I'm going to make you some breakfast. Then I'll head back to the office."

"Just like that?"

"Teresa—"

She got out of bed so she could stand at her full height, crossed her arms and gave him her best boss glare. "I don't agree to this. And these are terrible conditions to make this kind of decision. I'm slightly hungover and you haven't slept in who-knows-how-long. Promise we will talk tonight, or after you get some rest. We can't leave it like this, Patrick."

He ducked his head. "Fine. But it's useless trying to sleep now. I'm just going to the kitchen. You going to come make sure I don't sneak out?" And then he dared to wink at her. Teresa rolled her eyes and followed him out.

X

It was a slow morning at the CBI. Lisbon was thankful. Morale was low after what had happened to Bosco's team. It felt like everyone was tip-toeing around, trying to avoid awkward conversations and painful reminders. She hid in her office with the lights low and caught up on some paperwork.

Jane's breakfast had gone a long way to improve her spirits and her hangover. With all the uncertainty he had introduced, she had tried to keep her distance, nursing a coffee while he worked his magic with some eggs. Before long his magic had included freshly squeezed orange juice. And then avocado toast. Each offering whittled away at her defenses. He coaxed her into a post-breakfast dance that devolved into long, slow, heated kisses that continued into the shower.

She tapped the end of her pen on her desk thoughtfully. They shared a good life. Jane wouldn't turn his back on that, would he?

A knock on her door jolted her from her thoughts. Cho opened it just enough to catch her eye. "We're up," he stated.

Lisbon nodded and straightened her desk before meeting her team in the bullpen. Jane was sitting on his couch, his hair tousled and his eyes heavy from sleep. He stretched dramatically and shuffled over to them.

"What do we got?" Lisbon asked.

"Dead body in Hoyo."

"Hoyo? What's in Hoyo?"

"Not much. Body is at a saloon. It's a historic site. They have live music on the weekends, do some tourist business. It's closed during the week. One of the owners stopped in last night to finish some clean up, found one of their locals, dead, by the cash register." He consulted a folder. "Steve Larpin, 42."

"Any money missing?"

"No, it was emptied on Sunday night at closing."

"Okay, what's our drive time looking like?"

"About four hours."

"Grab your go bags, people. We'll meet in ten." She noticed Van Pelt looking at her hopefully. "You too, Van Pelt. Bring all the tech you'll need for a remote command center."

"Yes, boss!"

The three agents scattered, leaving Lisbon and Jane alone amidst the chaos. "You feeling any better?" Lisbon asked casually.

"Getting there," answered Jane. "I'm getting some tea for the road, you need anything?"

"Coffee sounds great," she hummed. "Don't be late."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He started to turn, but then came back, a finger outstretched to hold her in place. "I'm going to ride down with Cho," he informed her.

"Oh? Why?"

"It's been awhile since I've had a good read on the guys."

Lisbon crossed her arms. "Whatever. You want to sleep."

Jane grinned. "Excellent. Hold that thought." He tapped her gently on the forearm with two fingers, then strode off towards the break room leaving her slightly confused.

X

Several hours later they arrived at a saloon in the middle of nowhere. Rigsby pulled at his suit jacket, sweat instantly coating him as they transitioned from the air conditioned car to the bright summer day. "Good thing the body wasn't outside," he commented to Cho. Jane had left his jacket in the car and rolled up his shirt sleeves. Lisbon and Van Pelt pulled up next to them and got out.

Two police officers came out a side door and approached them. The older one touched his hat in greeting. "You all must be the CBI."

Lisbon stepped forward and introduced the team, they all shook hands.

"We're mighty grateful that you're helping us out with this one," Captain Wellson said. "We cover a sizable area here, and we have a large event coming up in San Luis this weekend. We can't spare much manpower."

"That's what we do. Talk us through what you have," acknowledged Lisbon. They turned to lead them into the saloon and Lisbon looked sideways at her team in mild disbelief. It wasn't often they were welcomed so warmly.

It was dim inside the saloon after the bright sunlight. As Lisbon waited for her eyes to adjust, she took in the atmosphere of the room. The crime scene tape looked out of place among the dark paneling and period furniture. A long bar took up most of one wall, ending in a cash register. A foot was visible sticking out from behind the counter. One of their medical examiners was hovering nearby, the requirements of his job allowed for a plane ride.

"Oh look!" Jane's voice reverberated, disembodied. Lisbon found his grinning face on the far side of the room, away from the scene. He was pointing to something on the wall, waiting for their attention. "This was a historic stopping place for the stage coach!"

When the team remained unimpressed, Captain Wellson spoke up. "They found gold in Hoyo in 1851. It used to be a real town, lots of folks lived here. But when things slowed down, they took everything with them — even the buildings. Just the saloon left now." He indicated a nervous looking man who stood up from one of the tables. "This is the owner, Richard Smith."

Mr. Smith was tall and slim with a long mustache. He shook Lisbon's hand. "You can call me Rich."

Jane's lips quirked at the statement, but Lisbon ignored him. "Lisbon." She turned back to the officers. "Does anyone live in this area?"

"Oh, out and about there is the odd farm or ranch. We can give you some resources to find the locals."

"Thanks. They said there was an event here on Sunday? What was the turnout like?"

Mr. Smith spoke up. "It was a popular show. We had about 50 people."

Lisbon looked around the cramped room. "In here?"

"We have a stage outside."

As they talked through the logistics, Jane investigated the body under the M.E.'s watchful eye. Jane stood up as Lisbon and Rigsby finished up their conversation and approached the crime scene.

Lisbon took a look at the scene, noting the sprawled body and the obvious bloody wound on the back of his head. She hooked her thumbs in her pants pockets.

"Hey there, Turner," she acknowledged the M.E. "What do we have here?"

"Hi, Lisbon. Time of death was between midnight and four a.m. Monday morning. Cause of death was likely blunt force trauma, but I'll know more after the autopsy."

"Thanks. Keep us posted." She looked around at her team. "This is going to be a tough one. Lots of people were here for the concert — a lot of tourists we can't verify. There were a minimal amount of online ticket sales, but most people paid at the door with cash." She grimaced. "The closest city is San Luis about half an hour away. We'll set up there tonight. There are some stops we can make on the way for interviews, but we'll start our main investigation first thing in the morning." She indicated towards the officers where Van Pelt was still standing. "Van Pelt is going to ride over with Captain Wellson to set up a remote command center at the police department and also book our hotel rooms while we work the case. Jane, first impressions?"

Jane pointed out parts of the body, "He has calloused hands, jeans are wearing thin on the inside of the leg, has a holster but it's just for show. The only thing he's missing is a cowboy hat." He grinned at them.

Lisbon glared at him. "We already know he works at a ranch. Any more insights?"

Jane held up a small book. "The saloon keeps a guest book," he offered.

Cho grabbed the book and flipped through it, then nodded. "Could be useful," he stated.

"Right. The victim lived about fifteen minutes from here. Jane and I will stop by to talk to his wife. Cho and Rigs —"

"Actually," Jane interrupted. "I'd like to stick with Cho. Get an idea of the local flavor."

"Oh-kay," Lisbon drew the word out in surprise, but trusted that Jane had his reasons. "Rigsby, you're with me." She handed some papers to Cho. "These are some locals who are regulars of the saloon and were at the show on Sunday. We'll meet up at the San Luis police station in a couple hours."

X

Lisbon stared up at the ceiling of her hotel room. There was a crack in the curtain letting through a small sliver of early morning light. She had managed a little sleep, but the timing of this case was messing with her emotions. There had been precious little downtime after Bosco's death and Rebecca's subsequent murder in the halls of the CBI. And now this whole issue with Jane… She was sprawled across the whole bed, painfully aware that he wasn't with her. They were stuck in separate rooms on this away case, and they still hadn't found time to talk.

She closed her eyes briefly, expelled a slow breath. Then she yanked herself out of bed. She would go for a run before it got hot, burn off some of this anxiety.

Lisbon pulled her hair up into a ponytail as she walked down the hall. She caught sight of a familiar form coming towards her and smiled. Jane was already in his suit, carrying a hot beverage from a local coffee shop. She had a flare of hope that he was bringing her coffee so they could steal a moment. They stopped as they met in the hallway.

"Hey, Jane. Whatcha got there?"

He lifted the cup in acknowledgment. "I sprang for some good tea. Boiling water in the room coffee pot never tastes right."

She wrinkled her nose at him. He had shared that complaint many times. "I was just about to go for a run, care to join me?"

He pointed to himself with wide eyes, like she had picked the wrong person in the hallway to ask.

Lisbon's smile grew. "We could walk," she offered. "Bring your tea."

Jane shook his head. "Nah, I'd just slow you down."

She buried her disappointment and changed the subject. "Did you sleep alright?"

He shook his head again, avoiding her eyes.

"Me either. We should have that talk."

He looked at her and smiled weakly. "Let's get this case solved."

She bit her lip and nodded once. "Busy day. We're getting started in an hour," she added as she started to walk past him.

"Don't skip breakfast," he stated.

"Save me a donut," she called back.

He shook his head at her retreating form.

X

The days passed slowly. Jane kept disappearing and Lisbon kept expecting him to drop a plan in her lap. He dropped facts about the gold rush instead, vague about where he had been. But she kept doing interviews with her team, working the evidence. Slowly things came together. Jane offered a couple of bread crumbs at a critical moment, like he couldn't bear to let them solve something without him. But they had done all the work and made a confident arrest five days into the investigation.

It was a crime of opportunity. Larpin was a staple in the community, a senior worker at a local ranch. He had recently reprimanded a new ranch hand, Jerry Vim — a hot headed young guy who couldn't take the criticism. When Larpin noticed Vim sneaking around at the saloon, he had taken action. He had offered a warning, an easy out from a potentially serious breaking-and-entering charge. But Vim saw his chance to rid himself of a persecutor. He thought his life could only get better. Now he was going to jail.

Lisbon smiled proudly at Rigsby and Cho as they escorted Vim to their vehicle. They were at the ranch and a few of the workers eyed them curiously, but got back to work as the boss called them out. The older gentleman tipped his hat to Lisbon and Jane and thanked them with sad eyes before leading them out of the barn to say goodbye.

Lisbon and Jane strolled together towards the entrance gate. The swing of her gait brought their hands tantalizingly close together and Lisbon found herself eager to have some time alone with him. Even if it was only until San Luis. It had been a long time since a case had taken this long, especially an out of town one. Jane had only seemed to grow more and more distant at their forced separation. She couldn't wait to hash things out, reel him back in. Too much time in his own head wasn't good for him.

As she reached the gate, it took her a moment to register that Jane had stopped a couple paces back. She turned and looked at him questioningly.

He cleared his throat. "I'm going to stay here a little longer." He spoke just loud enough for the words to carry to her.

She stepped closer. "In San Luis?"

He shook his head. "In Hoyo."

"Here here?" she clarified. "There's nothing to do."

"Exactly what I need to clear my head. It's beautiful country."

She paused. "You need company?"

"Not this time."

She realized her hands were fidgeting. She dropped them to her sides. "We're still wrapping up the case."

He shrugged one shoulder. "You solved it without me. He's already cracked. You got this."

She stepped closer and leaned in, keeping her voice low. "You've been avoiding me, Jane. You still owe me a conversation."

He stayed his ground and met her gaze. "Tick tock, Lisbon."

She frowned. It was his way of reminding her they were technically still on the clock. The team was waiting for her. They had a suspect to transport and Van Pelt was back in San Luis packing up her gear.

He bent his knees slightly to be level with her. "We'll talk when I get back. I just need a day or two," he assured her.

"There's nothing to do out here," she repeated.

"Lots of open country. Space to think."

"And what? You gonna get a horse?"

"Maybe."

She paused. "I'm worried about you." She licked her lips, then prodded carefully, "You are coming back?"

"Yes, boss." He smiled and gave her a mock salute. She nudged him, pushing his arm aside.

"Call me if you need someone to listen."

His eyes circled her face. "I will," he assured her.

She dipped her head. There was nothing else to say. She kept walking to the cars, feeling the weight of his gaze on her back. She hated the uncertainty. She pushed her shoulders back in a quick stretch. Cho and Rigsby had the suspect in the back of their SUV and were waiting for her outside. "Let's go," she stated as she breezed past them.

"Jane's not coming?" Rigsby asked, looking back at him.

"He'll follow later. He wants to explore this fine country on horseback," she made it sound like she was quoting him and added an exaggerated eye roll.

"He doesn't have a car," Cho pointed out stoically.

"It's Jane, he'll work it out. You guys go straight back to Sac, I'll pick up Van Pelt."

The guys shrugged and they all piled into their cars. Jane was leaning against a fence post and waved as they pulled out.

X

It was late the next evening. The bullpen was mostly empty and the main lights were off. Lisbon was enjoying the quiet while she filed and filled out paperwork. She was tired, but she resisted going back to her empty home. She was used to sharing her nights with Jane now, and she hadn't heard an update from him. So much had changed over the last year. Her stomach growled and she sighed. She started to straighten up her desk, she couldn't justify staying much longer.

She was locking up the filing cabinet when she felt a presence behind her. She turned and smiled at Jane in the doorway. "You're back!" she exclaimed.

He smiled at her tiredly. "I'm back."

She tilted her head at him and bit her lip, unsure about his mood. "Did you go on that horse ride?"

"Yes."

"How was it?"

"Hot. Beautiful. I'm a little sore. I worked at the ranch a little."

"You? Doing manual labor?" Lisbon joked.

"They were two men down, I was glad to help." He finally came into her office and sat on her couch. He left the door open behind him. "How long are you planning to stay tonight?"

"I was just about to head out, get something to eat. Would you like to join me?"

He bounced on the couch cushions a little. "One of these days I'm going to get you a new couch."

"I like this couch," she said lightly. He nodded in acknowledgment, but made a slight face. "Jane?" she prompted, trying to get the conversation back on track.

He rubbed his hands across his knees, then looked at her. "I'm going to find an empty office to go over the Red John files," he told her quietly.

Her legs almost gave way beneath her and she dropped onto the couch next to him. She stared at him blankly. "You're really going to do it," she said in a shocked whisper.

"Relentlessly pursue the serial killer who is determined to ruin my life? Yes."

"Don't," she admonished, knowing he was trying to deflect. She suddenly felt cold. "What happened to 'life is short'?" she asked, recalling the conversation when he practically begged to move in with her.

"Life is short," he agreed. "I want you to die of old age, Teresa. Live your whole life. I can't risk it being cut short because of me."

She wanted to retort, argue, yell, explode.

But he looked so broken as he muttered, "Not like them."

She had reassured him on this point so many times, she didn't bother to now. She felt empty. She sat shoulder to shoulder with him, and felt the chasm growing between them. She stared out into the dark bullpen through her open door. He wasn't looking for a private conversation, wasn't here to discuss their options. He had made his choice. He was walking away from their personal life.

Her detective mind took over, whirling thoughts sorted into place. "You found that case for us. Didn't you?" She turned her head slowly, taking in his profile as he avoided her steely gaze. "You went looking for a case that was far enough out that we needed a hotel. You got it all set up. Then you dragged your feet, kept back key information, made us stay out there for a few days. Avoided me by wandering off and investigating local history instead of the case."

Jane didn't deny anything. He smiled thinly and looked away. "You know me too well."

"Is this your idea of letting me down easy?" Her eyes flashed. "Every time you ran off, I thought you were concocting one of your plans, setting up a big reveal. I trusted you, Jane. That's how we operate. If I can't —"

"You can trust me, Teresa," he interrupted, his eyes sincere. "I will always do what's best for you."

Her lips pursed into a thin line. "I needed you to work the case, Jane. You can't make my decisions for me. And I still don't agree with this one."

He finally met her gaze. "Nothing about this is easy," he stressed. "I needed the time, and you got the killer. No harm, no foul."

"You don't get to pick and choose your cases, Jane."

He nodded. "I needed to get my focus back." He spread his arms in declaration. "I'm here. It won't happen again."

She looked away now. "I never thought you'd be the one to walk away," she said sadly, switching the topic.

"I'm not leaving the CBI," he assured her, but the words were a hollow consolation. He lowered his voice. "My feelings didn't change."

She stood up and looked down on him. "Then you're letting him win," she said.

"I can't win until he's dead," he stated, his eyes flashing.

Something snapped inside her. They had hashed this out so many times, and nothing changed. "He makes you reckless and paranoid," she spat the words at him in a whisper. "A shadow. I thought we were past that. I thought —" Jane's eyes flicked towards the open door, making her pause. She threw up her hands in defeat. "Never mind. I'm going home."

She turned angrily and gathered her things.

"I'm sorry," he said behind her, a soft rumble.

When Lisbon turned back Jane was outside her office, looking over his shoulder at her through the open blinds of her window. He smiled sadly, then went towards the bullpen to collect his files.

Lisbon felt the shift in her world. Sometime over the last few months her apartment had become an actual home. A place to hang out and enjoy with someone she cared deeply about. Jane had painted her bathroom. Sorted her bookshelves. Cooked for her. Laughed with her. Loved her.

She realized with a jolt that they still hadn't watched Gone With the Wind. She sniffed once as a tear fell. She was powerless to change what was happening now.

So she wiped the moisture off her cheek, pulled herself to her full height, and strode out of her office with a firm resolve. She didn't look back as she strode to the elevator and stabbed the down button. She was a damn fine cop and she had a damn fine team. She wasn't going to let the fallout from this affect her job, just like every other bad Jane plan she had survived over the past few years.

Jane had made it clear he wasn't going anywhere. It wouldn't be easy, but she was glad. Grief already weighed her down. First Bosco's death, then Minelli's unexpected retirement. But she trusted that Jane would keep giving her trouble, keep making her life interesting. Hopefully they would weather this. It would be much worse to lose his friendship. At least this way she would be able to keep tabs on him, and she would push back.

She knew how to keep going. She wouldn't let the cracks show.

Teresa Lisbon didn't need anyone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A case with Mashburn has Jane doubting his decisions. Inspired by a certain scene in "Red Hot"

Jane was conflicted.

He always enjoyed himself when he could stick it to the rich and famous. This case had been a gold mine! He smoked out the suspects with a series of entertaining and clever plays, and ultimately revealed the killer. It was always a good day when you had fun doing your job.

But a large part of his deception had involved repeatedly putting Lisbon in an uncomfortable situation. Ordinarily he enjoyed throwing her in the deep end and watching her fight her way back to the top. She was fierce!

This time it all felt a little off. Granted, during the case she was shot at once and later threatened with a knife. He didn't like it, but that was a whole other issue. It wasn't his fault, and she hadn't taken any unnecessary risks. No one was threatening to fire her, so she was fine. But he could tell she was disgruntled with him. And maybe confused. And very probably irrationally angry.

Par for the course, really. If he left her alone long enough, it would all blow over. But he felt an unusual desire to explain himself. Maybe he should even apologize. It would only take a few minutes.

But it wasn't the kind of discussion that could happen at the office. And he wasn't welcome at her home anymore.

Almost a year had passed since he had ended their personal relationship. About a month into it, they worked a case involving a high school reunion. Right after they closed it, one of her favorite songs played at the event. He took the opportunity to persuade her to dance. The rest of the team were with the suspect. No one knew them or their history. Just two coworkers having a bit of fun. It felt so good to be close to her again. She had let her guard down, just for a few minutes. They were doing okay working together, finding a new normal.

The next night he was bored and feeling lonely. He thought it would be safe to bring Lisbon some dinner like he used to. It wasn't. She had visibly tensed up when she opened the door, and it only got worse as he stayed. She tried to be polite and engaged in some inane small talk. It was obvious that he was causing her pain just by being there, in her space. In what used to be their space. He excused himself after fifteen minutes. Her words and pained expression as he left often lingered in his mind. "I just… can't."

He hadn't been back to her apartment since, with one notable exception. But that had been her choice.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to try. They were still friends, weren't they? So he went through the trouble of going to his hotel and through the whole ruse of using back exits to switch cars. He drove out of his way to make sure he wasn't followed. He even wore a hoodie for the trek through her parking lot. Then she didn't answer her door. She wasn't home. He tried a few of the nearby places she frequented. She wasn't anywhere. And she wasn't answering her phone.

Jane sat in his nondescript, boring sedan and considered his options. He was getting worried. He couldn't ask the team without rousing some suspicions. He peeled off his hoodie, then ran his hand down the front of his suit to smooth it out. There was a slight impression from an object in the inside pocket. He decided to run a quick errand and expend some of his rising anxiety. Better to stay busy. He sent a text.

A short time later he was waiting outside a hotel room door. It was a very upscale place, very private. A security guard had escorted him to the correct floor and stared at him from the elevator bay, making sure he didn't deviate from his intended destination. Jane waved at him to pass the time. The man didn't smile back.

The door finally opened. "Patrick!" exclaimed Walter Mashburn. "To what do I owe this brief visit?"

Patrick's lips quirked at the sentiment as he stepped inside. "Walter!" Jane echoed his enthusiasm. "I'm so glad I caught you before you left town. I wanted to assure you everything is wrapped up with the case. There shouldn't be any more concern for your safety."

"Splendid. Such great service. Hey, I've been meaning to ask — what made you suspect Yuri?"

Jane soon found himself talking about toupees, of all things. He wandered as he spoke, his body trying to keep up with his conflicting thoughts. It was hard to push Lisbon from his mind. Mashburn tracked with him, moving in front of him when he neared a certain door. Again. The movement registered and Jane looked at him oddly. He focused his attention on the other man's body language. He was hiding something. He registered another detail — two champagne glasses were set together on a table, both used.

Who would Mashburn want to hide from him? It was a short list. Jane took a quick inventory of Lisbon's attitudes around Walter the last couple of days. She had started out exasperated, but she had been softening to him. He supposed Walter had a certain amount of charisma, and had been laying it on thick. He thought Lisbon would be immune. Perhaps his own seemingly indifferent attitude had provoked her to act out. If he thought Teresa would actually go for Mashburn, he wouldn't have encouraged anything. Possibly. He definitely needed to talk to her.

Jane wrapped up his discussion about hairpieces for men and reached out to shake Mashburn's hand. "Thank you for your help," he stated.

"Oh, not at all. It was fun," Mashburn replied.

"Almost forgot," Jane said as he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket. "Your credit card." He handed it over with a flourish.

Mashburn held it up in acknowledgement, looking away slightly.

Jane took that moment to storm past him. "Is she here?" he asked forcefully. "Teresa?" he called as he pushed open the closest door.

"Wait," Mashburn protested, too late to stop him. He swore under his breath.

Jane stopped in surprise in the doorway, his brain failing him momentarily.

Madeleine Hightower was sitting on the bed, drinking wine and leafing through a book. She was wearing a tasteful lingerie set loosely covered by a satin robe. At the commotion she sat upright and dropped the book to pull her robe closed.

"Patrick?" she asked in shock.

Jane suddenly remembered he shouldn't be staring. He put on a casual smile and focused on her face. Nothing unusual going on here. "Hey, Madeleine. Fancy running into you here."

"Were you just asking for Lisbon?"

He shook his head and puffed out his cheeks in denial, impressed with her deflection.

Mashburn squeezed past Jane and stood between them, crossing his arms. "Apparently Patrick thought she might be here."

"She's not," Hightower said. "And she won't be at work tomorrow, she took time off."

Mashburn shook his head, clearly amused. Patrick latched onto the information like a lifeline and filed it away for later.

"But she is a grown woman," Hightower added carefully. "It wouldn't be a crime if she was here."

"Oh," Jane said smartly, running through the implications of her statement. He held up a hand in agreement. "Certainly. If she wanted to spend her off duty hours with Walter, I wouldn't interfere. I came by to return something. I thought I heard Lisbon back here, just wanted to say hello."

Hightower raised her eyebrows at him. "That's what you're going with?"

Jane made a show of squirming under her stare. He grimaced. "I didn't think you'd want to know about the office betting pool."

She glanced between him and Mashburn. "About Teresa?"

Jane rocked back on his heels. "Yes, well, most of the time they bet on innocuous things like how long it takes Rigsby to eat the snacks in the break room after they've been restocked. That one's more interesting when they hide some of them," he noted thoughtfully as an aside.

Hightower cleared her throat. "What does this have to do with Lisbon?"

"As you probably know, Walter requested us specifically for this case. There was a certain amount of flirting going on, on his part."

Mashburn had a sudden coughing fit.

"He was relentless in his pursuit," Jane continued. "Lisbon was the epitome of professional, but some of the guys couldn't resist making a prediction."

Mashburn was still coughing. Hightower offered her wine glass to him and he took a grateful sip. He smiled at her. Hightower turned back to Jane and blinked slowly. "That's very… inappropriate."

Jane hummed in agreement. "Of course, I do not participate in such things."

"Of course not," she echoed dryly.

"But when it comes to Teresa and her reputation, I like to keep my hand in it. Knowledge is power when you're controlling gossip. A good cover up starts at the source." He looked between her and Mashburn thoughtfully. "I'd be happy to extend the same courtesy to you."

"I see. I'm glad that chivalry is not dead. But there is no story here." Hightower projected boredom. "Walter was kind enough to offer me a nightcap and a little luxury. I was enjoying a rare book and some high thread count sheets." She made a point of looking at the clock. "It's later than I thought, I should get going," she added, starting to maneuver towards the edge of the bed.

Mashburn moved quickly to usher Jane out of the room. "No need, Patrick was just leaving," he insisted.

Jane waved and made a smooth exit. "Sorry to barge in," he called back to her.

Mashburn closed the door behind them with an audible click. He pushed Jane towards the front door and stopped, glowering at him — an interesting mix of anger and amusement. "What the hell was that? You trying to sabotage my night?"

"She's married," Jane said firmly.

"She's unhappy," Mashburn countered, giving Jane an even stare. He shrugged lightly, adding quietly, "I'm not her first indiscretion."

Jane paused. "How did you end up with her in the first place? You were openly pursuing Lisbon the last few days."

Mashburn looked towards the bedroom door with a goofy smile on his face, then turned back to Jane thoughtfully. His body language shifted, eager to share the tale. "I went to the CBI looking for Teresa, true enough. Her office was empty, no one from your team was around. And this…" he searched for the right word, "…magnificent goddess appeared before me, like a vision. She knew exactly who I was. She was concerned that perhaps I had been offended by your antics and was there to complain. As soon as I laid on my irresistible charm, she started, well —"

"Resisting?" Jane asked with a smirk.

"Yes. But I could see the amusement in her eyes." He put his hands in his pockets and stared into the distance dreamily. "A very strong woman. If I thought I had a chance, I'd hire her to my acquisitions team."

Jane met his gaze, calculating. "I know you know where Lisbon is."

Mashburn drew his hands out of his pockets and held them up in surrender as he backed away a couple of steps. "I ran into her — after. She was in a terrible mood. The least I could do was offer her something nice. Something to make up for the trouble I put her through."

"And?"

Mashburn shrugged again. "She wanted to get away. Disappear. Just for a couple days."

"Sounds nice. Did you lend her your jet?"

Mashburn shook his finger towards Jane and smiled smugly. "You know, I'm starting to think you are the reason she wanted to get away. I'm not getting involved."

Jane frowned. "I just need five minutes to talk to her, but she's not answering her phone. Maybe if you called her for me?"

"Trust me, it can wait. What did you do, anyway?"

Jane shrugged. "You were the one who wouldn't stop flirting with her. Maybe she's grumpy with you."

Mashburn pondered for a moment, then dismissed the idea. "Nah. She was staring at your couch like she hoped it would catch fire. It's almost like — is this a lover's spat? I thought you were trying to help me out with all that talk about pupils dilating, but now that I think about it…"

"Nothing like that. We're not together," Jane insisted dully.

Mashburn studied him. "Hmm… I'm not convinced. And you thought she was here? That must have been killing you!" Mashburn looked far too amused.

"I've looked everywhere. I would be relieved if she was here."

"Even if we were..." Mashburn trailed off suggestively.

"Enjoying high thread count sheets?" Jane rolled his eyes. "She can make her own choices."

"Really?" he drew the word out, filling it with possibility.

"You shouldn't get any ideas, Walter."

"Oh, but you've got it bad." Mashburn nearly chortled with glee. "How long ago did she dump you?"

"She didn't."

Mashburn gasped theatrically. "You let her go?"

Jane smiled and shook his head.

"Okay. I won't pry." He paused. "I trust you will be discreet about Madeleine?"

Jane nodded amicably. "As long as you say nothing about your theories."

Mashburn grinned. "Wouldn't want that getting back to the boss, eh?" he chuckled.

Jane suddenly stepped forward and gripped his forearm, his gaze penetrating. "It's important, Walter. There's nothing to tell."

Mashburn's smile faded as he studied the other man. "Yeah, sure. You have my word."

Jane's hand fell away and he smiled again. "Thank you," he said simply. "I guess I'll just wait for this one to blow over. It's a shame though. She'll have a better time if she's not stewing over something so trivial." He rocked back on his heels and waited.

Mashburn hesitated, then opened his mouth to reply. At that moment Hightower breezed through the door into the front room, fully dressed in her usual work attire and holding her purse at her side like it was armor. She paused to address them. "Still here, I see," she said dryly. "Thank you for a lovely time, Walter. I wish you all the best in Europe."

She moved abruptly to go around them, intending to pass to the front door. Walter stepped to intercept her and she stopped short, obviously flustered.

"Don't leave on my account," Jane insisted.

Mashburn was looking at her hopefully, a tender hand on her arm.

She straightened and looked at Jane boldly, issuing a challenge.

"I didn't see anything inappropriate here," he added, spreading his arms wide.

"Until the next time you want to get away with something," she stated.

He acted offended. "I don't need blackmail to get away with anything." His voice softened as he added, "You can trust me, Madeleine. Truly."

He mimed zipping his lips closed, then slipped out into the hallway, leaving them alone. He paused to take a deep breath, then pulled a smart phone out of his pocket as he strode purposefully towards the lobby.

X

Lisbon was most of the way through the complimentary bottle of champagne. Only stems remained of the chocolate covered strawberries. She leaned back in her chaise lounge chair and let her eyes wander over the lush decor. She had never stayed in such a nice hotel before. Mashburn had truly outdone himself. The penthouse suite was more like a tastefully decorated apartment with all the luxuries she could never afford. He even offered to cover her tab.

Thinking about the millionaire made her thoughts shift to a certain golden haired consultant. They had perfected their working relationship to the point that she was rarely surprised anymore — or at least could mask it well. But to encourage another man to pursue her? Least of all Walter. He was too similar to Jane with his charm, mischievousness, killer smile. And the way he looked at her! She had felt the pull. Hell, she had almost kissed him in the middle of the case! She scowled, then caught herself. She was here to indulge herself and avoid thinking about confusing relationships - particularly Patrick Jane. What was he thinking?

Her stomach rumbled. Room service was taking too long and the bubbly gave her a pleasant buzz.

Lisbon started to daydream about the generous whirlpool bath in the master bathroom. It looked like it was big enough for three people! With her luck, room service would show up right when she was ready to get in. She ambled over to it and turned on the hot water. A selection of bubble baths were lined up neatly by the faucet. She found a scent that she liked and added it liberally. Lisbon smiled as the bubbles blossomed. She experimented with the bank of light switches, settling on the perfect mood lighting. She found a plush robe and changed into it, then trailed her fingers in the rising water before heading back to the living room to listen for the door.

She put her hair up in a high ponytail. Lisbon ran her fingers up the back of her neck and her traitorous thoughts returned to Jane. After all this time, it was still hard. The days were long and they caught the bad guys. She still enjoyed working with him. But it was hard to go home, especially when she knew Jane was off somewhere obsessing about Red John. Recently he had claimed an unused storage space in the CBI attic. At least she knew where he was. When she worked late she knew he was still nearby.

The moments she missed the most were the unguarded, intimate encounters in her home. The domestic stuff. Seeing the real Patrick Jane without the mask he wore in public. He had tried to visit once after they broke up. The reminders of what they had lost were too painful. She couldn't do casual with him anymore.

She had made an exception once. About four months ago Jane came face to face with Red John. The killer had saved his life. The look in Jane's eyes after he was freed from his cellophane wrapped chair… they both needed comfort that night. Lisbon drove him to her place in silence. She brought him to her bed, but they didn't make love. They clung to one another, just needing to be close. Their only words were her hushed whispers of reassurance, trying to make him whole again. He left early the next morning. He didn't try to reestablish anything after that night, but she could see it in his eyes as he left. He still loved her, and that night had meant as much to him as it did to her. Sometimes the weight of what they didn't say was overwhelming.

After that night she had started to notice all the little things. She had seen them before, but taken many for granted. Things that Jane had been doing for years. A pastry and coffee after an early morning callout, lingering on his couch while she stayed late to do paperwork, food with her name on it in the break room. Smoothing team relations when she was grumpy. Walking away slowly when she had a good view of his backside…

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a knock at the door. An unfamiliar voice announced, "Room service."

Being in the penthouse added it's own extra security, but Lisbon checked the peephole out of habit. A man stood there, holding a covered tray and looking to the side, the ridiculous cap all the staff wore jammed low on his head.

She straightened her robe and pulled the door open. The man turned to face her. The twinkle in his eyes was so familiar it hurt. "Hell no," she stated and shut the door in Jane's face.

She started pacing by the door, her thoughts racing. He tapped on it again. "I just want to talk, Teresa." He paused. "You must be hungry," he tried. She kept pacing. "You might want to check on your bath," he said. She stopped. The running water re-entered her conscious thoughts. Damn, how did he do that? She walked briskly to the bathroom and twisted the water off. The bubbles were threatening to spill over, but it was a large tub, it was just a little fuller than she would like. Crisis averted.

She was tempted to ignore Jane and get in the tub, but she was getting a headache. She needed to eat. She strolled back to the living room. The silver dinner tray was resting on the coffee table, the hat nearby. She approached cautiously and noticed Jane in the far chair, the plush cushions nearly hiding him. She stiffened. He held up his hands in surrender.

"I'm not here to interrupt your evening. I just want five minutes."

She crossed her arms. "You could have called."

"I did, several times. And I went looking for you. You disappeared, Teresa. I was worried."

"So you thought I was with Walter?" she leapt to conclusions, connecting the dots.

"I wouldn't have blamed you if you were. I went to return his credit card. He was acting suspicious. Turns out there was someone else there he didn't want me to know about." He grinned in a knowing way.

She didn't take the bait. "You were a jackass, encouraging him while he flirted with me. It would have served you right."

He winced. "I don't disagree. But I had my reasons. Mashburn is a famous playboy. If the public thinks you're sleeping with him — or available to — they'll never guess you're sleeping with me."

"By 'public' you mean Red John." He shrugged, essentially agreeing. "And I'm not sleeping with you!" she exclaimed. "It's been nearly a year, and we're still stuck in this weird limbo." She looked away, then muttered, "Walter shouldn't have told you."

"He didn't give you up. I knew he was helping you, so I lifted his phone."

"Two nights, Jane! I only wanted two nights! What was so important that you couldn't wait?"

He shrugged and pointed to the table with his chin. "Your dinner is getting cold. So's the bath."

She glared at him as she grabbed the tray. She took it into the kitchen and sat down at the table. She resisted her cop instincts and sat with her back to the door for maximum dismissal vibes. She barely tasted the gourmet meal as she wolfed it down.

She heard movement behind her and then Jane reached around and put the mostly empty bottle of champagne in front of her with a thump. She felt him move back, but his eyes were trained on her. "Thought you might like to finish that," he commented.

Lisbon's fork made a satisfactory clatter as she dropped it on her plate. "Now you're trying to get me drunk?"

"Looks like an excellent vintage."

Lisbon twisted to look at him, then stood up to gain equal footing. She crossed her arms. "Why are you here, Jane?"

He looked at her with a soft intensity, his eyes roaming from her rosy cheeks to her bare feet. He smiled, a genuine lazy, pleased smile. Her heart rate sped up as he met her gaze. "I've missed you," he said simply.

"You see me nearly every day."

He gestured towards her. "Not like this. It has been entirely too long since I've seen your legs. And you never get angry with me at the office anymore. Not like this."

She felt a little self-conscious now, but she masked it by jutting her chin out in defiance. "You made your choice."

He nodded. "The way Mashburn looked at you…" he closed his eyes and breathed deep, then exhaled sharply. "It was… difficult."

"You have no claim on me, Jane," she pointed out softly.

He looked away. "I know."

She huffed. "It's not like you've been a saint."

"I have never claimed to be one. You have a specific instance in mind?"

"Kristina Frye," she sounded out each syllable in the other woman's name deliberately.

His eyes grew wide as he met her gaze. "Nothing to get jealous about, Lisbon. That was a ruse. You were standing next to her at the CBI and Hightower pointed in your direction and said something about 'She likes you,' and for a terrifying minute I thought she was talking about you." Lisbon's eyebrows rose in amusement. "She told me it would be good for me to start dating again. Most awkward date ever," he muttered.

"Hightower said that," she challenged.

"She did. I figured it wouldn't hurt to make that appearance, at the very least it would put some distance between you and I."

"What is it with you and distancing us? You trying to dig a hole?"

"I'd like to think if the hole is deep enough, we can be together again. But things didn't work out so well for Kristina." He frowned sadly.

Lisbon wet her lips. "She provoked him, Jane. Red John has never threatened me. Not once. We were careful." She took a step closer. "Hightower doesn't even suspect, and she flushed out Wayne and Grace first thing."

He made a face. "She suspects part of the truth. She tries to control me by threatening your job. But Wayne and Grace were never fooling anyone." She raised her eyebrows and he amended, "You didn't want to see it. You didn't want to break up your team. You wanted their happiness. Someone should be happy."

They were standing close together now, all defenses were down as they studied each other. Lisbon's eyes lingered on his lips before wandering back to his eyes. "I've missed you too," she whispered.

Slowly, Jane leaned in, gauging her reactions as he approached. She looked back at him steadily, then her eyes fluttered shut in anticipation. He paused, committing the lay of her eyelashes and the curve of her lips to his memory. The kiss started as a soft pressing of their mouths, a re-acquaintance.

Lisbon sighed at the familiarity of it. She drew herself closer as their lips moved, reveled in his solidness, the smell and taste of tea on his breath, the playful way he traced her lip with his tongue. She nipped back and they broke apart, breathing heavily as they smiled at their own private joke. Her smile faded into arousal at the glint in his eye, the heat that smoldered behind it. They came back together with a strong fervor, hands roaming. Lisbon started leading them towards the bedroom. They stumbled in the hallway and Jane paused to press her against the wall and trail kisses along her neck.

Lisbon laughed and pushed him towards the master bath.

They paused inside the door. Jane grinned at the mountain of bubbles. "Someone was feeling extravagant," he teased.

"I was distracted," she breathed.

They had lost a few articles of clothing along the way. She was only wearing her undergarments, Jane was missing his jacket and his vest was unbuttoned. Lisbon yelped as Jane scooped her up and brought her over to the bath. Her arms were trapped against his chest, but she didn't fight him as he leaned over the full bathtub. Some bubbles left a trail of wetness along her back. They paused there for a moment. As she searched his face she could almost see his thoughts churning behind his eyes.

"Trust me?" he asked.

She nodded. "Always."

He bent his neck to kiss her softly, then he let her go.

It was not a long drop, but the splash felt dramatic, cathartic in a way. As the water enveloped her, Lisbon only had one thought. Jane had missed one important detail. She surged back up, the water sloshed over the sides of the tub and pooled at Jane's bare feet. Her hair hung limply in her face and she wrapped her arms around herself awkwardly. Jane paused, perched on one leg, halfway out of his pants.

"It's cold," she chattered. Lisbon climbed out, strode past him, and wrapped a fresh robe around herself. Then she leaned back against the wall and started laughing. She slid down to sit on the floor, shivering slightly as she went.

Jane looked at her in bemusement. "Not quite the outcome I had planned," he admitted. He put his pants back on.

"Not one of your smoothest moves," Lisbon agreed.

"You should get your money back, this place can't even fill a tub with hot water."

"I'm not looking for someone to blame, Jane. It's been that kind of day." She found a towel within reach and started to dry her hair.

Jane chuckled. He sat down by the tub, then flinched as his pants wicked up some water from the floor. He moved to a drier location. "It's a shame, all those bubbles going to waste."

The tension of the room shifted from amorous to awkward, neither one of them sure what to do next.

"I should go," Jane uttered and Lisbon barked out a laugh. He looked at her sharply, but softened at the mirth in her expression. He looked down at himself and plucked at his vest. He had not been spared from the splashing water. Patches of his suit were soaked through and he wiped some bubbles away. "I guess I am a bit of a mess," he acknowledged as he squeezed some excess water out of a pant leg.

Lisbon threw him a towel and he wiped at the worst of it.

"You don't need to go," she stated.

Jane looked at her longingly. "I can't give you what you want," he told her. "I'm not any closer to catching him. I really didn't come here to start anything."

Lisbon narrowed her eyes at him. "But you did start, and I'm not complaining."

Jane's thought back over their earlier conversation. "When you said we're still in limbo… what did you mean by that?"

She licked her lips and glanced away. Had she said that out loud?

Jane must have seen the panic creeping in. He prodded, "Do you see a future for us?"

"You do," she pressed. "You said you have hope we'll get back together."

"Well, of course I do. In the right circumstances. After," he stumbled through his thoughts. "But you're it for me, and I don't... I cause you so much pain. If I wasn't so selfish, I would walk away. You could have anyone you want, and you could do so much better. Hell, you could have Walter Mashburn."

"I don't want Mashburn."

"He's rich, he's stable, attractive. Not associated with a serial killer."

"One of his exes wanted to kill me a couple days ago. And he's already cheating on me," she deadpanned. She crawled closer to him, boldly climbed into his lap and stared him straight in the eye. Her arms went around the back of his neck and held him in place. "I've done a lot of thinking this past year. I know you are doing what you think is best, and I hate it. I worry about you. When you nap on your couch I know you're not sleeping at night. You push yourself too far and you think you need to do this alone. But I see you, Jane. I understand, and I haven't pushed it. Now I need you to listen to me very carefully." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly before meeting his again. "I love you," she said lightly, the words delicate. "I don't want anyone else, because I want you. So you can stop pushing me away and stop foisting me on other men. You don't need to change my mind. I can wait, and I want to wait if you're not ready. But I also want to help. We're good together. As far as I'm concerned, as soon as you get your head out of your ass, we can get back to it."

"So eloquent," Jane whispered. He pulled her into a hug to hide his shining eyes, but he couldn't disguise the slight tremble in his arms. "One of the things I love about you," he murmured into her ear.

"I have this room for two nights," she answered. "No one knows where we are. Stay with me."

Jane swallowed. He pulled back so she could see the conflict in his expression. "You broke your usual pattern," he explained. "You disappeared. If we both mysteriously vanish at the same time — for the same length of time — it's like sending up a flare. Someone will notice."

Lisbon hesitated. She couldn't bear to let Red John come between them in this moment. "You came all this way. Do you think two hours could fly under the radar?"

Jane looked aside thoughtfully, then studied her hopeful expression. His own face was unreadable. He abruptly pulled her close. He mapped every inch of her back with his hands, then slid his nose along her cheek towards her mouth. He kissed her thoroughly. "I suppose I can't go anywhere until my suit dries," he conceded.

Lisbon kissed him, then untangled herself and pulled him to his feet. She pushed his unbuttoned vest off his shoulders in a well practiced maneuver, then deliberately stretched her arm out behind her and dropped it into the bath. Jane laughed as she led him to the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Season 3 Interlude, set after the events of "Bloodstream"

Lisbon sang a few snatches of melody under her breath as she went up the stairs towards Jane's attic lair. She tapped on the door, then leaned into view, smiling widely. Jane lay flat on his makeshift bed, holding a book above him. He marked his place with one finger and welcomed her with a glance.

"Evening, Lisbon," he hummed, returning to his book.

She walked into the room with a bounce in her step. "You've cleaned up in here," she said cheerily.

"A little bit," he agreed. She hesitated, all too aware that the reason for the straightening was because he had been held hostage here by Hightower last week. "You're in a good mood," Jane plowed on without looking up again.

She shrugged lightly. "We solved the case," she explained.

"No lingering ill effects from your temporary demotion then?"

She wrinkled her nose at him. "It was… awkward. I forgot more than once that Cho was in charge. But it was surprisingly enjoyable at times."

Jane smiled. "You've never played hooky before, have you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" She perched on the edge of his bed and nudged his knee.

Jane moved so he was sitting beside her. "I enjoyed watching you during this case. You smiled more than usual. Looked like you were having fun."

"I like my job," Lisbon insisted, slightly offended.

"Looked like you enjoyed forwarding the complaints about me to someone else too," he said quietly.

"Yeah, well, that backfired on me. I was reinstated before the end of the case so I still got the paperwork." She said with exaggerated exasperation. "I mean, I'm glad to be back in charge of my team, but would it have killed LaRoche to wait one more day?"

He smiled weakly and looked away. "You're good at your job. Don't let being the boss weigh you down."

She nodded again, unsure what to say. She gestured to his book, his finger still marking his place. "Whatcha reading?"

He showed her the cover. The title and author's name took up a healthy portion of the front, with an inset picture of an idyllic countryside underneath. "Nothing exciting."

She rolled her eyes. "More of this Blake guy? What's the appeal?"

Jane looked down at the picture like it might have the answers. "A little dated, but he has some interesting ideas."

"All right then, read me one. Come on," she hustled him, nudging him again.

"I'm not sure he's your style."

"That book is huge! They can't all be bad. Lay one on me." She stretched her shoulders and rolled her neck in anticipation.

"Okay, okay. If I must." He flipped through the thick volume, then settled himself to read, glancing at her to make sure she was ready. "The Clod and the Pebble," he paused after the title and she gestured impatiently for him to continue. "'Love seeketh not itself to please / Nor for itself hath any care / But for another gives its ease / And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.'"

Lisbon nodded thoughtfully and Jane continued. "'So sung a little Clod of Clay / Trodden with the cattle's feet / But a Pebble of the brook / Warbled out these metres meet: / Love seeketh only self to please / To bind another to its delight / Joys in another's loss of ease / And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite.'"

Lisbon looked down at her hands, her good mood subdued. Jane put the book down and they sat quietly together. "Well, that got depressing," she finally observed. "Is it…?" she stood abruptly. "Maybe I should go."

Jane lowered his head, but didn't try to stop her. She was almost to the door when she stopped and turned, angry. "You're blowing hot and cold, Jane. Is it so selfish of me to want to spend time with you? After all we've been through?"

Jane shook his head, a sad smile gracing his lips. "No. You're not the pebble." He met her fiery green eyes with a soulful expression. "I'm a drowning man, Teresa. Most of the time you keep my head above water, but the longer we go the chances increase that I'll pull you under, down to my own personal hell."

Lisbon frowned. "You're pushing me away again," she intoned. It had been about three months since their night of passion at the penthouse suite, and there had been no down time since. The murders just kept coming, and all the stress that came with high profile and political cases - not to mention the recent upheaval that came with their boss becoming a fugitive. Jane was staying at the CBI most nights now. It was a convenience she had taken for granted. She had come to rely on these brief visits after hours. It gave her time to be someone's friend, and not just the boss. They kept the topics light and easy. Usually.

"Nothing can happen here," Jane interjected.

"I never considered —" Lisbon started, but her squeaky voice betrayed the lie she was about to tell. Her hand went to her cross. "Not here," she agreed quietly.

Jane looked at her knowingly, then slid off the bed and turned towards the big wall of windows. "Not exactly private."

"More like completely inappropriate. We're still at the office." She cleared her throat. "No one's looking in the windows, Jane."

"You never know."

The words were flat and casual, but Lisbon heard the insinuation behind them. She blinked. "You think someone is spying on you?" she hissed. "Who — oh. Seriously? You think Red John is desperate enough to keep tabs on you here?" Jane shrugged, not wanting to get into it. She straightened and cleared her throat. "Actually, I've been meaning to suggest something. Since I've made visiting you here a routine, I was hoping that we could start to use this time to discuss the Red John case."

He turned back to her slowly, a glimmer of fire building behind his eyes while he tried to feign disinterest. "Discuss what, exactly?"

Lisbon was fully back in boss mode now. "Come on, Jane. I know you're still digging into it. I've been trusting you to tell me when the time was right, but you never do. I'm in charge of the case. The least you could do is give me a progress report."

"We can't discuss that here."

"Okay," she drew out. "Then where? My office?" Jane shrugged and she pressed further. "I understand if you don't feel safe here. It can't be easy after what happened with Hightower. There are things we can do to make this space more secure. Blackout curtains and regular sweeps for bugs would be a good place to start. Get some noisy fans in here for white noise. Maybe a lock for the door."

He shook his head. "I take some precautions, I know what to look for. I can't look like I'm trying too hard. Increases suspicion."

"No. You've been spending a lot of time here, it makes it look like you're getting comfortable." She crossed her arms. "You really don't want to talk about this with me, do you?"

"I want you to be safe," he said desperately, his mask cracking.

Her voice turned hard. "So you have learned something. Keeping information from me doesn't keep me safe. If anything, it makes things more dangerous for you — for both of us. There's a reason cops work in teams. I know I caught you off guard tonight, but we will talk about this again." She waved a hand in the vicinity of his bed. "I'll let you get back to your poetry."

X

Rigsby's eyebrows grew increasingly higher as he witnessed the scene in front of him. Jane was provoking one of the victim's friends, but it had passed the point of awkward discomfort and looked like it was heading towards a blow to the nose.

"You were having an affair with her, and you feel guilty as hell about something. Maybe it was the affair itself, or maybe something more sinister. All we need is a motive, you are one step away from jail time." Jane stabbed a finger in the large man's direction.

"Too far?" Rigsby leaned over to ask Cho.

"Yep," the stony faced agent agreed.

"We don't need a reason to detain this one, do we?"

"Nope."

Mr. Dauz' face was turning a very impressive shade of purple as his fist clenched and unclenched at his side.

Both agents stepped forward into the mix. Rigsby pulled Jane out of harms way while Cho stepped into the gap.

"You don't have anything better to do than to attack an upstanding citizen? I'm far from perfect, but I loved her." The man spat out, finally able to get a word in through Jane's tirade. "I would never kill her." Next to him, his wife gasped and covered her mouth in shock.

"You have an impressive capacity for anger," Jane quipped, stepping out of Rigsby's grasp.

"That's enough," Rigsby said and tugged at Jane again.

"I'll have your badge," Dauz erupted, puffing with anger.

"Good thing I don't have one," Jane grinned, dutifully letting Rigsby push him towards the door.

The only answer was sputtering and gasping. Jane turned and his face fell. The suspect was down, his hand over his heart.

"Mr. Dauz," Cho crouched over him. He looked up at Rigsby. "Call 9-1-1."

X

Lisbon was scribbling on some forms when Jane sauntered into her office. She didn't look up from her immaculately organized desk. Never a good sign.

Jane rocked on his heels, then made himself comfortable on the white couch he had purchased for her. After a couple minutes of silence, he wiggled into the cushions and put his head back. "This is nice," he observed.

Lisbon made him wait a little longer before she put her pen down and came to stand in front of him. Her movements were controlled and precise, her hair perfectly in place in a tight ponytail.

Jane's eyes were closed, the epitome of calm. "I heard the old man was okay. Not sure why I'm here."

"Mr. Dauz was mugged a few years back. It got out of hand and his good friend — the victim's husband — was killed. He is a very nervous, guilt ridden man. Your accusations today triggered his heart attack, Jane." Her words were clipped with anger, but left room for his explanation.

Jane opened his eyes, studied her face and posture, calculated his response. "I wasn't wrong about the affair."

"Doesn't matter. He has a solid alibi. He's been cleared."

"Hmm," Jane hummed in agreement. "Not the wife either."

"How do you figure?"

He burrowed further into the cushions. "She was surprised when he admitted the affair. She didn't know about it, no motive."

Lisbon sat next to him, perched on the edge of the couch with her knees angled towards him. "Jane. Ever since he was attacked, Dauz keeps a small caliber gun on him. If he'd gone after you, you could have had a lot worse than the usual bloody nose. Or this lawsuit."

Jane waved the idea away and closed his eyes again. "He never went for a gun."

"Do you suddenly have a death wish?" her voice rose several notches. "What is going on with you?"

"There she is," Jane sat up and pointed at her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Hard-assed, no-nonsense cop Lisbon. Fully back in boss mode. Chew me up, spit me out, file a few reprimands. Let's get back to solving cases."

Lisbon took a deep breath. "Jane, a man could have died today. If you want me to smile more, learn some self control and stop harassing people. The job is hard enough. If I can't smooth things over, LaRoche has grounds to suspend you."

"So let him," Jane sat back fluidly and crossed his legs.

"Excuse me?"

"Suspend me, transfer me, fire me. Give yourself a break."

"Wow." Lisbon blinked at him. "That's what this is about? Jane. The job is hard. But I love my job." She said it slowly and punctuated the word "love", holding his gaze until he glanced away. She continued, her voice cold. "Since you seem to be having trouble reading this situation, allow me to be clear. For the last three months we've had cases on top of cases. You've been kidnapped, held hostage, and had guns pointed at you far more than I've been comfortable with. When LaRoche briefly demoted me, it was a gift." Jane scoffed and she nodded. "Sure, if he hadn't reinstated me I would think differently. But for a little while I didn't have to lead the team and make the hard decisions. Instead I got to go out with you and track down the bad guys. All of the fun and none of the mess. I watched you unravel the puzzles and poke those doctors and I didn't worry one bit about consequences and paperwork." She softened. "And you were in rare form. You exposed more than one kind of corruption at the hospital and it will make things better for a lot of people." Jane's face was open with emotion, letting her read him as he hungrily absorbed her words. "I'm proud to have you backing me up. I'm glad you're on my team."

Jane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he looked at her again, his mask was back in place. He stood abruptly. "Well then, I suppose I have some amends to make."

Lisbon pursed her lips and glared up at him. "Promise me you won't poke anyone else. Let this blow over."

"No one else will have cause to complain, Lisbon." He straightened his jacket sleeves, perfecting his facade. "All will be as it was before."

"These better not be empty promises, Jane. You have a unique knack for twisting your apologies."

He smiled, then leaned over and rested his lips on her hair, his hands on her shoulders in an awkward hug. Lisbon froze in surprise. "Thank you, Teresa," he murmured, then he was gone.

X

They managed to solve the case without any more drama. Jane had charmed his way out of the lawsuit. Lisbon suspected he had paid Mr. Dauz' medical bills. The important thing was he had made the effort. As the team shared the traditional case-closed pizza, Jane caught Lisbon's eye for a long moment. There was a touch of vulnerability in it, and an unspoken request. She nodded and let him escape to his attic. She hadn't been up there since.

Now they were on day three of a rare break. As welcome as it was, the team was getting bored and restless. Usually Jane was good for a distraction during these moments, but he only came down to the break room briefly to restock his tea. Lisbon suspected he had an electric tea kettle upstairs. She tried to convince herself that he wasn't just avoiding her. He must be working on something.

She finished her paperwork, her fingers itching to call him. Instead she straightened the stack of papers, sorted out the duplicate copies and took them to her filing cabinet. She pulled out a drawer and found a paper resting on top of the file folders. She set the papers aside and drew it out, smiling at a rough drawing of a person wearing a sort of police uniform. The title at the top of the paper said "Call the Please" and a poem was printed underneath. It looked like he had copied a page out of a Shel Silverstein book.

She scanned the page quickly, enjoying the lighthearted story about a Police Department that became the Please Department and halted all crime by saying "please". "So the next time that you're feelin' blue / 'Cause someone points a gun at you / While they're robbin' your apartment / Just call your friendly Please Department."

Lisbon smiled and set the poem on her desk, then quickly filed her papers so she could get back and read it again. It was a thoughtful gesture. She just wish she could understand why. Was it a simple apology? Was anything simple with Jane? He had made it more than clear that he wasn't going to pursue a romantic relationship with her at this time, but when he was sweet like this, she couldn't help but feel a spark of hope.

Her desk phone rang and she answered it eagerly. After listening for a moment, she politely responded, "I'll be right down. Thanks." She tucked the poem into her desk drawer and took a moment to center herself. She had given Jane some space, but she still needed answers.

She popped her head into the bullpen and recruited Rigsby to come with her to the lobby. A few minutes later she was on her way upstairs. She was carrying a couple of boxes while Rigsby and a delivery man followed her with a carpet roll. She led them up the stairs and knocked briefly before barging in on Jane.

"Special delivery!" she announced as Jane looked up from his desk.

"What's all this?" he asked with a wary smile as the others followed her in.

"Where do you want it?" asked the delivery man, all business.

Lisbon set her boxes down and pointed out a spot by the desk. "Right about here, thanks."

The guys maneuvered together to lay the roll down where she indicated, then they straightened. Rigsby looked between Lisbon and Jane. "I'll just, uh, show you out," he said awkwardly to the delivery man.

"Thanks, Rigs," Lisbon acknowledged.

"Sure thing, boss."

Jane and Lisbon seemed to be frozen in time as they waited for their audience to leave. As Rigsby glanced back a final time and turned the corner out of sight, Jane finally stood. "Why did you buy me carpet?" he asked.

"You said this place wasn't secure, I bought you some things."

"I don't need —"

Lisbon produced some scissors and cut through part of the tape on the smaller box. She yanked it open loudly, cutting off Jane's words. She pulled something out and smiled. "This should address your immediate concerns," she said. "I debug my office and my house all the time. There are a few methods, but a decent RF monitor is a good place to start." She installed the included batteries and pushed the power button. A red indicator light turned on and she smiled again. "Here you go," she said, trying to hand it to him. "Easy tech, no learning curve. Wave it around and it will make noise if it detects anything transmitting."

Jane just looked at her, disapproving.

"Right, I'll do the first pass." She walked around the room, waving the device in front of her. She glanced up at him from under his makeshift bed. "Remember when you found that bug in a light over your couch?"

"Yes. I told you I know what to look for."

"Good, good." She finished the circuit and put the device back in the box. "Looks like you're clear. There's also a low tech way to check for cameras. You just need a toilet paper tube and a flashlight."

He looked horrified when she produced the items. "Is this really necessary?"

She frowned slightly, "Just trying to help."

"How does a rug help with security?" he repeated the question from earlier.

She set things back in the box and grabbed the scissors again. She walked over to the carpet roll. It was bound tightly with plastic wrap, but she started cutting methodically while she spoke. "It muffles footprints. Good for hiding movement if someone is listening in."

"Sometimes I just walk around in my socks," Jane interjected.

"And I thought it might cheer you up," she continued. "You could use some decorating up here. I got you curtains too." She pulled off the plastic and looked up at him. "Come help me unroll it."

Jane huffed, then pushed himself off the edge of his desk to join her. The design unfolded as it spun out. It was a traditional rug, rich colors intertwined in an abstract symmetrical pattern. Jane nodded thoughtfully. He crouched down to feel the plush fibers. "Very nice choice, Lisbon."

"You like it?"

"I do."

"Good." She paused. "There is something else rugs are good for."

"Oh?" Jane smiled and started to turn. "What's that?"

Lisbon got a determined look on her face, and before he realized what was happening, he was flat on the ground. Lisbon had his hands secured behind him. Jane groaned as the air was forced from his diaphragm. "Very soft," he noted, his voice muffled since his cheek was smashed into the carpet. "What's the purpose of this exercise?"

"Sometimes you need to be reminded that I'm the boss," she whispered into his ear.

Jane chuckled. "I would call your methods brutish and unsophisticated, but I'm pretty sure you remember what your displays of physical prowess do to me."

Lisbon moved, shifting subtly against him. "Is your bio feedback failing you?"

He groaned again. She tightened her grip on his wrists as he tried to move his arms, but he held out his hands in surrender and she cautiously let him go. Suddenly he spun underneath her, their position now much more intimate. She closed her eyes briefly at the heat that jolted through her. She breathed deeply before setting her glare back on him. Jane smiled and put his hands behind his head to cushion it, a vision of nonchalance.

"You have me at your mercy, Boss," he teased.

She shook her head as reality caught up with her. As much as she missed the physical side of their relationship, this was not the time. He had twisted her tackle into another deflection. "What are we doing, Jane?"

He wrinkled his brow in mock confusion and carefully tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I thought we were trying one of your fantasies."

Lisbon rolled her eyes in annoyance. "You're still shutting me out. Are we partners or not?"

"We are."

"Talk to me about Red John. I don't understand why you're being so paranoid. He has been quiet for a long time - he hasn't made a peep since we recovered Kristina Frye."

Jane's eyes tightened ever so slightly. Lisbon cocked her head at him. "What am I missing?" she asked, leaning forward earnestly. Jane bit his lip at her change of position. "Tell me Jane, or so help me —"

"You'll tackle me?" he goaded, then closed his eyes and breathed a long measure. "Very unorthodox torture methods, Teresa." He glanced away and wet his lips. "Hightower told me to tell you. It didn't feel right. Red John is too smart, he would sense a trap."

Lisbon swallowed hard. "When did you talk to Hightower?"

Jane met her gaze and put a steadying hand on her knee. "She didn't kill Todd Johnson. She was framed. By Red John. I helped her get clear."

"She had a gun taped to your neck. All of that for —"

"It wasn't loaded, Teresa," he said softly as her emotions overwhelmed her.

Lisbon closed her eyes and regrouped. "What does Red John have to do with this?"

"Johnson was his man. He was going to confess something to me, but Red John got there first."

"But he was set on fire before he could say anything. How do you know he's connected?"

Jane sighed deeply. "I may have omitted some details. When Red John… saved me. I lied. He did say something." Lisbon's eyes narrowed, but she waited. "He recited the beginning of a poem to me. 'Tyger Tyger burning bright."'

"Let me guess, by that Blake guy."

"Yeah."

"Hate him."

"Anyway, Johnson also told me something before he died. Only two words. 'Tyger Tyger.'"

"Creepy." She cocked her head at him. "But if Hightower is innocent, that means Red John still has a mole somewhere at the CBI. Damn it, Jane. This is exactly the kind of thing we should be working on together. I — ah, hell. Someone's coming." She stood up and smoothed her clothes, putting some distance between them.

Jane held still and listened intently. "Sounds like Cho."

"He never comes up here," Lisbon puzzled.

"Not as often as you." He slowly pushed himself to his feet and dusted off his suit.

Lisbon grabbed her phone as the footsteps paused at the open door. Two missed texts and a voicemail. "We're up," she declared, glued to her screen. "Be downstairs in five." She paused and met his eyes. "Thank you." He nodded.

Cho knocked and peered cautiously in at them. Jane brushed some lint off his sleeve and waved as Lisbon breezed out of the room.

"My phone went into silent mode. Fill me in on the way down," she instructed Cho.

Cho lingered in the doorway and stared at Jane who was still preening. "You gotta learn how to dodge."

"Meh. Knocking me on my ass from time to time seems to improve her mood."

Cho smirked and turned to catch up with Lisbon.

"You're welcome!" Jane called after him.

X

A few days later Jane walked into the bullpen carrying some pizza boxes. It was late and the room was dark, but most of the team was present. Lisbon was in her office. He walked far enough to catch their attention, then stopped and gestured back the way he came. "Let's eat upstairs," he suggested.

"In the attic?" Rigsby asked, moving quickly and trying to take a box from Jane's pile. "There's no room to sit up there."

Jane stepped back evasively, moving towards his target. "On the contrary. I've been decorating."

Van Pelt approached with a sweet smile. "You've had a lot of deliveries this week. I'd love to see it." Jane let her take the top two boxes since she was heading in the right direction. She paused in the doorway, waiting for the others.

"Excellent," he stated, then grinned and recited from memory, "'Who wants a pancake, / Sweet and piping hot / Good little Grace looks up and says, / "I'll take the one on top." / Who else wants a pancake, / Fresh off the griddle? / Terrible Theresa smiles and says, / "I'll take the one in the middle."'"

"What's that from?" Rigsby asked, his brow furrowed with uncertainty as he tried to figure out if he should smile or not.

Cho folded his arms. "Shel Silverstein," he answered and Jane's smile widened.

As though summoned by her name, Lisbon appeared. "What's going on?"

"Jane wants us to take our case-closed pizza upstairs."

"Did I mention there's a TV? Game's on."

"That's more like it!" Rigsby exclaimed and snatched the remaining boxes from Jane on his way out.

Cho shrugged and followed the pizza. Lisbon and Jane paused together. Lisbon wrinkled her nose at him. "You've been making some changes?" she asked cautiously, hopefully.

Jane placed a hand at the small of her back and pushed her gently towards the stairs. "Come and see, Lisbon. Come and see."

X

Lisbon paused in the doorway, her mouth open in shock. Jane leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You have good taste."

Her eyes lit up with delight. "It's completely different. I love it, Jane."

His chest puffed out in pride. "Well, I figured I should at least make it comfortable for my guests. I'd like to have the team up here more often."

She looked at him then, studied his face. He looked happy, but maybe a little anxious about something. "Yeah?" she smiled encouragingly, pleased that he was showing himself to her.

He nodded and gestured through the doorway before following her. Lisbon walked slowly, noting the details. The whole room was lit by lamps, creating an inviting warm glow. Just inside, a large couch was set up facing a huge TV. A football game was on. There was a nice rug and a coffee table. In the opposite corner, the desk was still in it's usual spot looking outside, but he had used her rug to include it in a grouping with a small cafe table and two chairs. The window was framed in the floor length curtains she had purchased. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt were already sitting on the couch eating pizza, engrossed in the game.

Rigsby had a slice of pizza in each hand. He raised one up in greeting. "This is great!" he exclaimed around a mouthful of food.

Van Pelt smiled in agreement. She half stood. "Boss, do you want to sit here?"

Jane's hand tightened at her back. "No, I'm good," she smiled. Jane pointed her towards the cafe table, then swept through in front of the couch to snag them some pizza. He paused in front of the team and gestured towards a mini fridge in the corner.

"Help yourself to drinks," he winked, then joined Lisbon.

Cho looked at the others and went to the fridge. He smiled. "Cheers, man," he said as he grabbed some beers. "Boss?" he asked.

"Maybe later. Remember we're still technically at work," she said as she accepted a plate of pizza from Jane. They sat quietly together. Jane watched the screen, but Lisbon watched him.

Suddenly Jane threw up one hand and cheered. Rigsby turned and glowered at him. "You're rooting for the Cardinals?"

"I like cardinals."

"We're home team people," Cho intoned.

"California has more than one pro team," Jane challenged. "What happens when they play each other?"

Cho looked at Rigsby. "Things get ugly."

"But it doesn't happen often. They don't all play in the same league," added Van Pelt.

"Hmm. You're not from around here, what's your team?"

"Iowa doesn't have a pro team, so it's always been about college ball." She shrugged. "The 49ers are having a good year."

"Until the Cardinals beat them."

A small uproar arose from the couch, but Lisbon beat it down. "Let's keep this friendly. A little rivalry never hurt anyone." She glared at Jane, and added, "Usually. Since when did you know anything about football?"

"Old habits. I had a few clients that were interested in sports predictions. Never amounted to much."

The action resumed on the screen and the team's interest turned back to it. After a few minutes Jane held out a finger, indicating to Lisbon he would be right back. He stood up and leaned towards his desk and opened a drawer. He dropped a folder in front of her, then sat back down and looked back to the TV.

Lisbon studied the folder with interest. It was one of those report binders with a plastic cover. The title page had some clip art on it and as she caught the words "Red John" she looked at Jane in surprise. "What is this?"

He talked around a small bite of pizza. "From Dr. Montague," he said quietly.

"The consultant with the predictive model for serial killers?"

"That's the one. She ran Red John through her program. All nonsense of course. But maybe you'll see something I didn't."

Lisbon smiled. It wasn't likely, but it was nice of him to say so. She flipped the folder open. There were a lot of colorful charts and graphs. Before looking closer, she caught Jane's gaze and nodded towards the couch. "You want to talk about him with them here?"

Jane shrugged. "You mentioned something about white noise. This is the best white noise I could think of."

"Clever. It could work."

"Besides, it should help you keep your hands off me."

Lisbon shifted and looked down to hide her blush as his words brought her naughty ideas to mind. "Watch out, I might take that as a challenge." She risked glancing up at him and he was grinning, the sparkle back in his eye. Her breath caught. She studied the report in an effort to distract herself from the strong pang of hope that threatened to overwhelm her.

A cheer erupted from the couch. "Hey," Van Pelt called, twisted in her seat to look at them. Lisbon looked up, startled. "You guys aren't working over there, are you? You missed a goal."

Lisbon opened her mouth to reply, but Jane beat her to it. "You know the boss. Can't ever stop her from working. At least she's in good company."

Lisbon closed her mouth and nodded. "Much better than my office," she smiled lightly. "Just looking over a report. This is a great addition to the case closed tradition, Jane. Thanks."

Amidst a chorus of appreciation from the couch, Lisbon felt more content than she had in a long time. With Jane finally opening up to her about his Red John information, they were going to beat this. They were a strong team. A different kind of hope flared in her chest, and she basked in it.

"My pleasure, Lisbon," Jane hummed. She was certain he could sense the change in her outlook, but he wasn't hiding. Maybe he could feel it too, his own bubble of hope. "My pleasure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poem credits: "The Clod and the Pebble" by William Blake, "Call the Please" and "Pancake?" by Shel Silverstein,


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows the storyline for "Strawberries and Cream" and the next story "Scarlet Ribbons". I have expanded on some scenes and borrowed some dialogue. I do a lot of jumping, although I try to refer to the major plot points so you don't get lost. I don't own it, I'm just playing! Thanks for reading, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Lisbon traced a finger around the rim of her glass. Her head was foggy, but not from any alcohol. It had been one hell of a day.

She stared, unfocused, while her mind replayed the moment she had woken up with a strange weight on her chest, Jane looking at her in horror. The realization that she was wired to a bomb, at the mercy of a killer at the other end of a phone. Jane had stayed by her side, risking his own life with hers. Not only that, he had taken charge, kept her calm and moving in the right direction. She hated to think what would have happened if she had dug in and resisted the bomber's demands like her training dictated — like she had tried to do.

Jane had solved the puzzle and delivered her to the bomber to end things on her own terms. But now that it was over, he had disappeared. Slipped away without a word.

She sighed and refocused on the present. She drank her whiskey in one gulp, tried to savor the burn. But the sliding heat only amplified how hollow she felt.

She kept her head down and toyed with the glass. Someone sat next to her and her heart rate increased, one part hope and one part wary. There was a reason she didn't usually sit at the bar. It was hard to stay aware of the room here, but she didn't intend to stay long and she didn't want to hide in a dark booth. She wanted Jane to follow her here, like he had at the start. She wanted to be findable. She wanted him to help her forget, and no amount of alcohol was going to fill the void.

"Can I buy you another drink?" a familiar voice asked.

She turned and smiled thinly. "Hey, Rigs. Didn't know you knew about this bar."

He shrugged. "Game's on. Free snacks. Seems like a decent place." He grabbed a handful of pretzels from a bowl on the counter and tossed one in his mouth.

"Yeah." She hesitated, then threw down some money on the bar as she stood to leave. "Sorry to bail on you, but I'm not good company tonight."

"You want to talk about it?" He caught her expression and quickly amended. "Or not. Whatever. We could just watch the game."

"It's the job. Nothing to talk about." She caught the bartender's attention and peeled off a couple more bills. "What are you having, Rigsby?"

"Can I see you safely home? Lots of freaks out there," he pushed.

"I'm fine," she insisted, adding a little bite so he would back off.

"Oh. Ah, whatever's on tap. Thanks, boss."

X

She jolted awake. The clock read 2am, but she hadn't been asleep for long. Someone was banging on her front door, hard enough to rattle the hinges. She put on a robe and grabbed the closest gun.

"Lisbonnnn," Jane called and banged again.

She rolled her eyes and pulled the door open, staying low and ready in case he wasn't alone.

"There you are," he slurred and stumbled into her apartment.

Lisbon did a quick sweep of her porch, then popped back inside and closed and locked the door.

She set the gun on a side table and rubbed her face with one hand. "What the hell, Jane? You trying to wake up the whole complex?"

Jane grinned. "Just you," he said and came towards her, tripping over his own feet. Lisbon caught him and wrinkled her nose at the strong smell of alcohol.

"You didn't drive here, did you?"

"Course not. Walked." He inhaled noisily, curled into her neck. "You smell nice."

Lisbon took a moment to rub his back, but pushed him upright as he started snuffling her. "All right, let's get you sober."

Jane started towards the kitchen, then stopped and turned intensely, nearly causing her to run into him. He put one hand on the wall to steady himself. "I've got something to say first."

"This should be good," Lisbon muttered, raising her eyebrows expectantly. She crossed her arms to put a little distance between them.

"I've been a selfish idiot pushing you away," he said with wide eyes.

"I can't disagree," she responded calmly.

"We should cherish every minute we have. Screw Red John." He flung an arm out to punctuate his point and threw himself off balance.

Lisbon caught him again and walked him into the kitchen. She wordlessly filled a glass of water and pushed it into his hands. "Drink up."

She stepped back and pulled the robe tighter around her like a shield. He was saying all the right things, everything she wanted to hear. But it was all wrong. She tried to ignore his predatory gaze over the rim of the glass as he dutifully drained every drop.

He set the empty glass down with a purposeful thump, keeping his eyes on her. He moved faster than she expected and was soon wrapped around her, his hands sliding across her hips familiarly and coming to rest on her back. His closeness was comforting, despite his drunken state. Lisbon found herself returning the embrace, her head tucked under his chin.

This moment, just being close to him. It was everything she was craving. He swayed them gently and she couldn't be sure if it was intentional or the effects of the alcohol, but she couldn't seem to care either way.

"I've missed you, Teresa," he whispered against her hair. He pulled back and lifted her chin, his fingers sliding across her cheek and into her hair. His eyes moved back and forth as he tried to focus on each of hers in turn. The seconds ticked by as they studied each other. Then he dipped his head down and she was lost in his kiss. It was at once unhurried and insistent, warm and thorough. Familiar, safe, not enough. She went up on her tiptoes and pressed into him, increasing his urgency. She couldn't seem to get close enough.

Jane moaned appreciatively and Lisbon turned her head aside. After a long drought, it was suddenly too much. She was overwhelmed and out of breath as he continued to pursue her with lips and tongue. "Upstairs?" he asked huskily against her neck.

"Jane, I…" he was still kissing her and she needed to think. She pushed against his chest with both arms. As she created space between them, he slid his arms along hers so that they were grasping each other's forearms, like he couldn't bear to let her go. "I can't," she stated firmly, seeking understanding with her expression.

He blinked at her through a haze of drunken lust. She could see him struggling to catch up. "Patrick, I'm very glad you're here. But it's too much, too fast. These close calls throw you off balance, and drinking makes it worse. There's a good chance you won't even remember this in the morning."

"My mind is a fortress," he growled, his voice still rough with desire.

"Even so, this isn't a decision to make while you're drunk. I need to know that you're ready, Jane. Not that you've been short circuited by adrenaline and alcohol. I'm okay, and so are you. I'm not going anywhere."

He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. When he looked at her again, his eyes were softer, almost apologetic. "But it's okay if I stay?" His voice was small, suddenly a little boy who just wanted comfort.

She nodded encouragingly. "I'd like that."

His hand felt warm and dependable at her back as they went up to her bedroom together. Lisbon's thoughts swirled against each other as she tried to process these new events. Jane drifted off to sleep fairly quickly, wrapped around her and snoring lightly in her ear. Ultimately, she gave in and snuggled into his warmth, choosing to savor this moment with him. Morning would come all too soon.

X

Lisbon frowned as she stomped to her office. She had left Jane in her bed sleeping off his hangover. She had no desire to be there when he woke up, she wasn't ready to talk about his drunken declarations. She had meetings all morning and plans for paperwork all afternoon. But she had just been ambushed by Van Pelt and a pink bridesmaid's dress of doom. Was it too much to ask for a boring day?

She was struggling with the zipper when her office door swung open unexpectedly.

"Lisbon, any word on that list yet?" Jane paused in the doorway in shock.

She turned to face him, glaring. "Geez, Jane, you mind knocking?" She was caught off guard by the wonder on his face. She tugged at the strapless pink atrocity and declared, "Van Pelt must die."

"No, no, no no," he stuttered. "You look good. This is beautiful. Like a princess. An angry little princess. Someone stole your tiara." There was no hint of teasing in his voice, which only put her more on edge. She could handle teasing.

Lisbon grimaced and gestured to the door with her chin, adjusting the top of her dress again. "Close the door." When Jane's eyebrows shot up, she added grumpily, "I need help with the zipper."

He moved further into her office, closing the door carefully behind him. Lisbon turned to offer her back and sighed. "She caught me by surprise. Otherwise, I'd never agree to be a bridesmaid. Why would she even ask me to do this? She knows I hate this crap."

Jane's fingers were warm on her skin as he deftly raised the zipper. "I told her to ask you. Told her you were dying to be a bridesmaid."

"Really?" Lisbon demanded, turning her head to chastise him. "Why would you do that?"

"For the fun of it," he answered glibly, but Lisbon closed her eyes as his fingers started to trace the outline of the dress, up onto her back, along her shoulders and down her arms. "And because, of course… deep down, you secretly do want to be a bridesmaid." He was so close, she could feel his breath on her neck. "Confess," he whispered, and brushed his lips against her exposed skin.

There was a brief knock on the door and the latch sounded loudly as it opened. Jane released her and took half a step back, turning with Lisbon towards the door.

Cho was looking down at a file as he entered. "Customer list from the Cash in Motion CDs. One name on there is Max James. Sac P.D. Homicide got an anonymous call a few hours back. Dead man in a house on Cosgrove. Turns out it's the same Max James." His eyes flicked between her and Jane. "You might wanna change first."

Lisbon smiled sarcastically as he turned and left, leaving the door open.

"Max James," Jane repeated thoughtfully.

Lisbon shrugged her shoulders and adjusted the top of her dress again. "It fits, you can unzip me now."

"Lisbon," Jane exclaimed scandalously. "Your door is wide open."

She shifted again. "Come on, Jane. Cho knows you're in here, we don't want to start any rumors. Just help me out."

Jane leaned in and tugged the zipper down partway. "I meant what I said last night," he said softly before stepping back again.

She held the dress in place and turned slightly to address him. "So you do remember!" she said with false enthusiasm. "And what? You expect me to jump? Just so I can fall the next time Red John shows up? We aren't any closer to finding him."

He held his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart and squinted at her. "Maybe a little closer. It's all in the details."

She shook her head. Of course he focused on that part of her statement. "Tick tock, Jane. Even if we decide to move forward, this isn't a work matter. And we're at work." She glared at him through her eyelashes.

He studied her and pursed his lips briefly. "It's different this time."

"How?"

"I'm not going into this blind, I've weighed the risks and know what I want. Life is too short."

"You've said that before."

"Clearly I need to rebuild your trust in me. And I will, Teresa." He smiled at her brightly, then stepped back and looked her over from head to toe while she scowled. "Love the dress. Very feminine." He backed out of her office, closing the door behind him.

X

Jane headed straight for the break room. It wouldn't take long for Lisbon to change, but he had a lingering headache and being close to her hadn't helped. He needed tea. He inhaled deeply as he dunked his tea bag into steaming water.

"How long have you been sleeping with the boss?"

Jane tossed the tea bag into the trash and turned slowly, leaning against the counter casually. He smiled at Cho and blew across his cup. "You don't usually go for office gossip," he observed.

Cho crossed his arms and waited.

Jane took his first cautious sip of tea and hummed in approval. "We're not sleeping together."

"She was changing in her office."

"You almost walked in on her yourself. I just helped with her zipper." Jane paused and set his cup down in the saucer in his other hand. He tilted his head playfully. "Are you trying to defend her honor? Very noble, but as she often likes to tell me — she can take care of herself."

"I followed you to the bar last night."

His smile fell.

"No one should drink alone after something like that." Cho almost sounded apologetic.

"You should have joined me, then."

"You were popular, I didn't want to get in the way. I was just watching out for you, man. I would have given you a ride home, but you were walking pretty straight when you left, so I just kept following."

"Always the detective," Jane murmured, then said louder, "Treating me like a suspect?" Cho winced slightly, but just waited quietly as Jane took a long swallow of tea and set it aside on the counter. Jane studied the floor as his thoughts turned. So many painstakingly cautious nights, ruined by one careless drunken impulse. He hadn't even noticed the agent he knew, what else had he missed?

Jane sighed and pinched the space between his eyebrows where his head was pounding. "I suppose I should thank you, I was pretty messed up." He met Cho's penetrating gaze. "Why follow me? Lisbon was the one wearing a bomb."

"I pulled the short straw. Rigsby went with Lisbon."

Jane smiled at the slight dig, then came clean. He didn't have anything to hide from Cho. "She let me crash at her place. Nothing happened," he explained.

Cho dug in. "Why not? You two are good for each other."

Jane leaned forward eagerly. "That's what I said! But all I got was a cold shower and a couch."

Cho narrowed his eyes and Jane grinned at him, then leaned back and picked up his tea again. He took a sip and smiled over the rim, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "You don't give me many openings. That was very gratifying."

Cho sighed and changed the subject. "You coming along on this Max James thing? We should get going."

"Yeah, just need a minute." He gestured with his tea, and Cho unfolded and left, presumably to his desk. Jane deflated as he disappeared. His headache wasn't any better, but at least he was confident that he had introduced enough doubt to keep Cho off balance. He trusted the man, but his chances with Lisbon were already strained without throwing the team into the mix.

X

"Red John's behind the bombs. He's hunting Hightower." Lisbon had shut down the investigation as soon as they made the connection. She didn't even let Cho know what was going on as she and Jane made a cryptic retreat. For a moment she understood why Jane had kept this information from her as long as he had. She didn't dwell on the spike of fear she felt if the team knew everything, if they were exposed to the danger. It made her feel like a hypocrite.

She left the crime scene and met up with Jane in a remote location to talk things through.

"Yeah. Max James was a friend of hers, or a relative. He must've known where she is."

"We have to warn her."

"How? I don't know where she is," Jane said, looking slightly lost.

"If Red John failed, what do you think he's gonna do next?"

He shook his head. "I have to think."

"He could come after you, Jane."

He met her gaze and insisted, "Why? I truly don't know where Hightower is right now."

"If I don't totally believe you, Red John probably doesn't either."

"If Red John wants me, he knows where to find me. I can't worry about that."

Lisbon blinked at him. She had used the argument enough times herself, but Jane had always fought her on it. Was he really conceding this point? Had his perspective really changed? "Are you going back to the CBI?"

"No. It feels too exposed tonight. I'm going to my hotel."

"I'm going with you."

He smiled, a hint of mischievous twinkle in his expression. "I'm always glad to have you around, but fair warning — " He winked. "My place is a work free zone."

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Trust you to twist the situation."

"You've never stayed over before. This should be fun."

"Jane," she warned. "I'm not staying over. I'm on protection detail. Technically, this is a work related visit."

"Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to. Why don't you grab some take out on the way, give me some time to clean up." He dared to squeeze her hand and leaned in for a quick kiss on her forehead, disrupting her train of thought. "See you soon," he said warmly as he stepped away, smiling lovingly at Lisbon's frown.

X

Lisbon was regretting the choice for everyone to drive separately to the crime scene. She wasn't sure what Jane was hoping to achieve by setting her behind him, but she could only hope he wasn't trying to disappear on her. The only certainty she had was that his talk about cleaning up was bogus. He lived at an extended stay hotel with a cleaning service, and he was rarely there to make a mess in the first place.

She followed him most of the way to his place, then diverted for fast food when they were close. Jane's Citron was very distinctive in the lot, but he also kept a nondescript sedan in the back lot that she couldn't see from here. She was relieved to see a sliver of light in his window as she approached.

As she raised her hand to knock, Jane opened the door just enough to pull her through. He took the bag of greasy food from her, his own hand lingering on hers.

"I'm afraid our plans for the evening have been slightly altered, my sweet." He brushed a kiss across her cheek, then looked meaningfully towards the small hallway where she suspected his bathroom was. There was movement and she reacted, reaching for her gun, but Jane was in the way, holding her arm. "No need for guns, Madeleine already put hers away."

Lisbon looked at him with wild eyes as Hightower rounded the corner and stood against the wall. Madeleine looked tense, ready to flee, but her eyes were steady. "Jane said he didn't know where you were."

"He didn't. I needed to talk, he didn't know I was coming."

"Lucky you caught me here," Jane stepped aside casually to set the food down.

"I had to risk it, I couldn't wait for you at the CBI."

"We just came from a crime scene," announced Lisbon. "I wanted to warn you—"

"My cousin, Max James. I can't hide anymore, Teresa."

"She wants to turn herself in," Jane added. "I was about to present my plan where we find Todd Johnson's real killer so she doesn't need to go on trial."

"Red John wouldn't let you get to trial," Lisbon cut in. "Why is he going after you?"

Hightower shrugged. "Wish I knew."

Lisbon turned back to Jane, who was now leaning against the wall looking like they were discussing the weather. "We're still working on our list of who was in the building that day. There are a lot of names. How—"

"There's a short cut. I'll talk to LaRoche."

"We've talked about this. He's a suspect."

Jane pushed away from the wall and engaged with her. "Now we have leverage. We'll need to alert all the suspects to Hightower's reappearance and see which one acts." Lisbon made a skeptical noise. "It's foolproof, Teresa. We're so close." He had that glint in his eye. "Madeleine and the kids can stay in a safe place. We just need to recruit the team to help."

"I'm tracking with you so far," Hightower interjected. "You think your team will be on board?"

"We'll have to give them a choice," Lisbon said carefully.

"That's fair. You know, I'm really glad to see you two working together. Patrick needs someone to stabilize him."

Jane chuckled and looked at Lisbon fondly. "She tackled me. Made me tell her what I knew."

"O-kay. Not sure I needed to know how your dynamic works."

"Oh, it's not like that." Lisbon said grumpily.

"Do you see how he's looking at you?" she asked incredulously.

Jane smiled in response, keeping his focus on Lisbon. "She knows I love her. But I've been an idiot and denied it too many times."

"This is not the time to discuss it," Lisbon said firmly.

"I disagree. You want to know I can commit to this." Still not looking away, he stabbed a finger towards Madeleine. "With Hightower as my witness, I'm not going to push you away again. We're so close, I can feel it."

"And what if we don't get him? What if Red John slips away again? You have a pattern, Jane, and I can't keep doing this. I'm not some toy you can get out whenever it suits your fancy."

"I know, and you're not. I want to be with you, whatever happens. We're stronger together. I keep trying to watch your back without letting you watch mine. These last few weeks, letting you in. You were right — it's better. It will happen, we'll get him." He inched closer. "I know you want this, Teresa. And I want it too. I want all of it." He caught her hand, ghosted over her ring finger. "I'm not going to change my mind again."

Something changed in Lisbon's expression and as they continued to gaze at each other, Jane's smile grew.

Hightower cleared her throat. "That's my cue to leave. Just answer me one thing." She gestured between them. "Was this going on on my watch?"

"No, ma'am."

"Just the one time," Jane amended cheekily. Lisbon bit her lip and looked away guiltily.

Hightower shook her head. "I could tell that Jane cared for you in his way, but I'd like to think I wouldn't miss this."

"Jane and I… weren't exactly on good terms when you started working at the CBI," Lisbon admitted.

"He broke up with you," she stated flatly.

Lisbon nodded once, embarrassed by the conversation.

"Then it's a true testament to you both that you still worked together so well. Because what I'm seeing right now…" she cocked her head at Jane. "It was Red John, wasn't it? You were scared for her."

"Terrified." He tried to shrug casually, but he had a death grip on Lisbon's hand. "Still am."

"Understood. If anything happens to my kids…" she trailed off, then took a deep breath. "Let's nail the bastard." She looked between them. "Forty-eight hours. I'll be in touch."

X

Teresa's shoulder was throbbing. She closed her eyes and breathed through the pain. There would be plenty of time for painkillers after she sorted out what was going on with Jane. They messed with her head too much.

The plan had worked, although not quite as expected. The team had stepped up. Jane told them everything, lifting a surprising weight from her chest. It was a good burden to share. The trouble was, they knew everyone on the suspect list. Van Pelt was engaged to one of them. So when the initial reveal was Bertram as the mole, Grace jumped the gun and told O'Laughlin what was going on before the deal was done. They realized their mistake just a little too late.

Now she had a gunshot wound and a dead FBI agent on her conscience — although she hadn't been the only one to put a bullet in O'Laughlin. He had left no room for doubt. She struggled more with the implications it held for Van Pelt. Besides all that, Jane was in jail for shooting Red John dead in the middle of the mall. She grimaced as her arm twinged. Jane had been left alone when their plan fell apart. She should have been there.

She looked up as the nearby door opened. Jane strode in, confident in his blue prison garb. He found her easily in the nearly empty room and his face lit up in a smile. Lisbon didn't quite have the energy to match it.

He settled at the metal table and suddenly she wasn't sure what to say. He laced his fingers together, still smiling. "So, how was your week?" Lisbon managed a strangled laugh at the absurdity of the question. Jane turned serious, concerned, reading her pain. "Oh, you should be at the hospital. What are you doing here?"

"I'm okay." She sighed. "What are you doing here, Jane?"

His brow furrowed. "I killed a man," he stated.

"No, I mean —"

"Why didn't I run?" She was slumped slightly to keep weight off her bad arm, and he ducked his head to put them on the same level, staring intensely. "I didn't think you'd approve," he said softly, then continued more conversationally, "Then, of course, there are the 500 witnesses to consider."

Teresa held no humor in her eyes. "You're not okay. How are you going to convince a jury that it was Red John when all the evidence is missing? They're going to think you went nuts."

"It will be difficult, but I did what I had to do."

"Yeah, well, Bertram wasn't so pleased that you mislead him and tried to implicate him with your plan. We'll look into it, but the whole team has been suspended."

Jane sighed. "That's why you're not at the hospital. Teresa, you're injured, you should be resting. Let the others worry about this, or leave it. I'll be okay. Jail is surprisingly restful after everything we've been through."

"He's going to throw you under the bus."

"I can't blame him, but I don't trust him either. There's a lot that doesn't add up. This place is great for thinking, but if you need me to help investigate, I'll make bail."

"You have a million dollars laying around somewhere?"

"No, but I can make it happen."

Lisbon didn't pry. "We'll start checking into Timothy Carter and get back to you. Jane?" She paused and licked her lips. "He's dead. Was it worth it?"

Jane's facade crumbled a little, his eyes a little vulnerable. "Jury's still out. I'm glad it's done, I have no regrets."

"But?"

"Be safe out there, Lisbon. If someone is tampering with evidence, then Red John still has supporters. It could get ugly."

"I have the team to help watch my back. You have to be careful too. Jane, I mean it. Don't do anything stupid."

Jane smiled lightly. "I love you too, Teresa. Next time you come, can you bring some blueberry muffins?"

She smiled.

X

Not guilty, on all counts.

As Jane emerged from the courthouse, Lisbon smiled lazily and stood up to throw away her coffee cup. She left the park and crossed the street to meet him at the car. He came around to her on the drivers side and leaned close, deftly taking the keys from her hand while pressing his lips to her hair. "Give that bum wing a rest," he said while gently pushing her towards the passenger side.

Lisbon went willingly. Not guilty. She could hardly believe it. They smiled at each other over the top of the car before opening the doors and getting in at the same time.

Jane put the key in the ignition, started the engine. "Home?" he asked her.

Her smile widened. "Sounds good." She basked in silence for awhile. Everything was good. Jane reached for her and she turned slightly so she could hold his hand with her uninjured side.

"How long until you can go back to work?" Jane asked.

Lisbon huffed. "I'm still suspended. Honestly, I'm not sure I'll get my job back. Bertram was very mad, and I am - was - the team lead."

"Nonsense. I won't work without you."

"Who says you still have a job?"

"I just got away with murder. I took down Red John. With my track record, Bertram would be a fool to let me walk away. But I've always doubted his competency, all the more for the way he's treating you. Do you still want your job?"

She didn't even have to think about it. "Of course."

"Consider it done."

"Sure, why not?" she settled into her seat sideways so she could study his profile. "I can't believe you were acquitted. I thought… I thought we would be lucky if your sentence was only a few years."

Jane cocked his head without moving his eyes from the road. "Yes, it was very touch and go there. Not sure I would be here if we hadn't found a victim in Carter's basement who could testify. But it begs the question… did I really fool the jury? Or did Red John influence them?"

"What?"

"For awhile there I thought he wanted me in prison, but I can see it the other way too. He has spared me before. Levels the playing field if I have my freedom."

"You're talking like he's still alive. Red John is dead."

"Timothy Carter is dead. He was an evil man, but he wasn't Red John."

Lisbon shivered. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, he definitely had me fooled. Timothy Carter knew things that only Red John would know. He told me what they smelled like the night he killed them."

"Jane," she breathed.

"And, uh. He knew about you." At her silence, he ran a thumb across the back of her hand, glancing at her before he continued. "He told me he was retiring. Told me to move on, find a woman and start a family. I told him I would when he was dead. He said I'd already made a promising start, I just needed to work on my commitment. And he says 'Teresa is a very patient woman, but you could still lose her. You don't want to lose her, do you, Patrick?'"

He was using a high voice to imitate Red John's eerie speech patterns and Lisbon shivered again. She squeezed his hand. "Sounds like compelling evidence to me."

"It just doesn't add up. Our profile suggests someone involved in law enforcement. Carter was a business man who appeared out of nowhere five years ago. His closest police connection was when he recently inserted himself into a search party for the woman he kidnapped. Plus he told me that O'Laughlin told him about the plan at the mall. Otherwise, why would he be there? But O'Laughlin went with Grace to handle the Hightower angle. When would he have had the time? No, I think Carter was a misdirect. Who else would have killed the security guard who covered up evidence at the mall, if not Red John?"

"I think he set it up in advance. He knew there was a chance you would kill him, you have threatened it for years after all. He just wanted to mess with your head. And it's working."

"Hmm. But another thing. We were too hasty to clear people from LaRoche's list of suspects. The more I try to unpick the web, the more complicated it becomes. Considering the people we know about and the cover up we've seen here, it all suggests his network is bigger than we anticipated."

"So, what? Bertram and LaRoche are suspects again?"

"Don't forget Ardilles. And Shettrick." He grinned. "These next few days will be very telling."

"Crap."

He pulled into the designated space by her condo. "Here we are." He pulled the key out of the ignition with a flourish.

She hesitated. "Are you really staying?"

"As long as you'll have me." Now he paused. "I was thinking I could go get my car tomorrow?"

Lisbon looked puzzled. "I don't see why not —" His vulnerability finally clued her in, her eyes went wide. "You mean the Citron? Jane, are you sure?"

"I'm done hiding, Teresa. Whatever happens from here, we'll do it together."

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Jane helped her out of the car and escorted her to the door. "You are overdue for some rest. Shall we put on a movie?"

"Sure. How about Gone With the Wind?" she took her keys from him to unlock the door.

He looked at her with wonder. "Really?"

She shrugged with her one good shoulder. "Why not. It's a good one to sleep through."

She pushed inside, leaving him behind. "Fiddle-dee-dee," he breathed in response. Jane watched her for a moment, amazed that after everything they had been through that they could return to normal so easily.

He went inside, caught up with her and spun her gently to kiss her. He caught her off guard, but she responded eagerly as he lingered. He pulled back slowly with several chaste kisses before resting his forehead against hers. "I'll make popcorn," he said and breezed off towards the kitchen.

He was home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale part 1, Season 4 and "Blinking Red Light"

Rigsby hesitated in the hallway, then walked into the bullpen briskly and sat at his desk. He rolled a pencil through his fingers while his leg bounced. He glanced back towards the bank of offices. Then he launched himself towards Van Pelt's desk. She raised her eyebrows to acknowledge him while she continued tapping at her keyboard.

Rigsby ducked his head towards her. "Is it just me, or is Jane acting weird again?"

"He recently got acquitted for killing Red John. I'd say he's doing pretty well."

"Yeah, but..." he glanced again. "He's spending a lot of time in the boss's office. That's weird, right?"

Cho strolled in and casually flipped open a file at his desk. "Not too strange, considering."

Rigsby looked between them, but no one was spelling it out for him. "Considering what?" he hissed across the aisle.

Cho rolled his eyes and closed the file again to join them. "They're sleeping together," he stated.

Rigsby stilled, checking to see if anyone was within ear shot. Thankfully, it was a slow afternoon.

Van Pelt stopped typing. "Jane and the boss?" she exclaimed, then added under her breath, "That was fast."

"It's not a new development. But I can't get a clear answer about when it started."

"Wait, you've talked to them about it?" Rigsby asked.

"Jane spent the night at her place after the bomb incident. At the time he said he stayed on the couch, but I'm not buying it. Now he just says it's complicated."

"Oh come on, guys. It's none of our business," chastised Van Pelt. "This is a good thing. Isn't it?"

"They're going to make it our business if they can't keep it out of the workplace," said Cho.

"What do you mean?" Rigsby asked nervously.

"He cleared out early again. Boss is straightening her desk."

Van Pelt looked that direction in alarm.

"He was just here, on her couch!" Rigsby said, slightly panicked. "Maybe he went upstairs."

"We passed in the elevator. He was going down."

"He's hardly been out of her office all day. He's not pissing off suspects for once, so what's she upset about?"

"A whole new dynamic," Cho said sagely, going back to his desk.

"Dang it," Rigsby sat down heavily in his chair.

X

Lisbon rattled her key in the lock, muttering incoherently as she struggled to get it to turn with her hands full. It finally caught, and she pushed the door open. She absently locked it again behind her. "Jane?" she called out. The only light came from the kitchen, the rest of the apartment was dark. No one answered. She scowled.

She was carrying a few things from work. As she sorted herself out in the entryway a shadowy figure sat up on the couch. Jane's eyes were thick with sleep and his hair was sticking up. "Hey, Teresa," he said in greeting. He rubbed his face a few times and got up, dropping a blanket on the cushions behind him. He shuffled over to her on bare feet, wearing a white t-shirt and loose pajama pants. He kissed her swiftly and disappeared into the kitchen to start some water boiling. "Sorry, I lost track of time. I'll start dinner soon," he called back.

Lisbon followed him. She leaned against the counter and folded her arms across her chest. "I already ate," she said curtly.

Jane turned to glance at her, a question in his posture.

"It's late," she added.

"Okay," he said and went back to assembling his tea necessities, all lined up on the counter. He turned again. "You're mad at me," he stated, giving her his full attention.

Her eyes flashed, confirming his words. "I just thought.. Dammit, Jane, I thought we were done with this crap."

The tea kettle whistled and Jane turned back again, pouring the steaming water. "Which crap are you referring to?" he asked calmly.

"All of it!" she exclaimed. "You saved my job — which I'm thankful for — but there was this implication that you would lay low and stay on Bertram's good side for awhile. Instead I've got overtime working on complaints."

Jane leaned against the counter, holding the saucer and cup with one hand and dipping the tea bag with the other. "I spent most of this case on your couch. Who's complaining?"

She glared at him. "The family. They saw you napping when they came to give a statement. They found it very unprofessional."

He blew on the hot liquid. "You know how I work," he offered. He took a cautious sip.

"That's not all," Lisbon took a deep breath to launch into it and Jane took the opportunity to break in, holding out one finger to stop her.

"The mayor. I tried to stay out of that one, Lisbon, but she just wouldn't stop exclaiming —"

"She said you insulted her shoes?"

Jane shrugged. "They were clunky platforms and she was stomping all around the office while she was exclaiming about all the wonderful things she noticed. It woke me up. Impractical."

"Again. You're not meant to be sleeping on the job. Plus, we're funded by the state. Playing nice with politicians is part of the job."

"It wasn't so bad," Jane insisted, gesturing with his tea. "I really am trying to behave."

"Well, it's not working for you, is it?"

Jane sighed and hung his head briefly. "Why is this coming back here? We're not at work."

"You keep leaving early, Jane. We can't just not talk about it."

Jane frowned. He took a long pull from his tea, then set it aside, his jaw clenched.

"What are you mad about?" Lisbon prodded.

"All of it. I can't protect you the way I really want to, not from him. So I do what I can, keep Bertram off your back, try to make things easier at work. However, it seems I can't save you from myself. So what's the point?" His eyes caught her intensely, stopping her next statement. "Don't tell me you can protect yourself. It's different."

She pressed her lips together. "I suppose you don't want me to say anything about Red John either."

"I know you don't see it, but he's still out there, waiting for his moment. And everyone has their guard down." He grabbed the milk off the counter and jerked it towards the fridge. He put it away and paused there, one hand on the handle.

Lisbon shook her head, then took one step and reached out to him, resting her hand on his arm. "I'm usually the only one yelling," she observed calmly.

He sighed and leaned into her touch. "It's sexy when you do it, but I find it so exhausting."

She settled herself against his back. "I'm used to it, you know."

"You _do_ yell a lot. I'm a lucky man." He could feel her roll her eyes.

"I mean — the complaint forms, long hours. That's not really the issue. The fact you can get in trouble while hiding in my office is it's own special talent, to be sure. But what I'm really concerned about is the hiding. What's going on?"

He pulled her arms to encircle him and clung to her. "I'm so afraid. Knowing that he knows. It's… different than before."

The curls at the base of his neck fluttered as she spoke. "We haven't found any further evidence of who could be working for Red John. Or that Carter wasn't him. It's made you powerless. Paralyzed you." Jane was silent, but started trembling in her arms. She tightened her grip, awkward against his back, but for this moment not being able to read each other's faces made the words easier. "You can wear that mask all day at work if it helps you, Jane. But you don't need to hide from me."

Jane twisted himself in her arms and pulled her against his chest, gasping into her hair. "I got the evidence I needed," he said shakily. "Rosalind Harker didn't know Carter."

"So that's what you were doing." Lisbon squeezed him tighter. "I was convinced that you got him. But I trust you, Jane. We'll either find the man or find his ghost. But we'll put this to rest and live our lives." Jane took some deep breaths and calmed against her. She pulled back to look into his face. "I'm not going to tell you to not protect me, whatever that means to you. But you know I can handle the work stuff. I'd much rather handle complaints when you're actively solving cases and insulting people on purpose. Do you think we can go back to that now, please?"

Jane smiled and nodded, his eyes still pained. "I was getting bored anyway," he said glibly.

She lowered her head to look at him through her eyelashes in one of her boss glares, but her lips quirked and she admitted, "Me too. Hey. We were getting close with a profile. Maybe it's time to pull in the team and spend some dedicated time on it."

He pushed some hair back behind her ear. "The case is closed. On paper, Red John is dead. It's a waste of time."

"You're telling me you're not going to obsess over it? You're done?"

He expelled a breath. "No. I can't afford to be seen obsessing over it. And I don't want to compound the problem by including more people."

"It's not just about you. The team has proven themselves over and over. We have all risked our jobs and our lives for this case. Red John has affected all of us." She screwed up her face in offense. "Are you saying you don't trust us?"

"Of course I trust you, obviously. And I trust them too. But it's too risky, it's best to keep it between us."

"I disagree."

"They can't work on it during billable hours, they can't research it on the network, if it gets out the man I killed wasn't really Red John —"

"You know they would be glad to help. "

Jane moved his hands to her shoulders. "Leave it, Teresa." He searched her face, studied the set of her jaw, the hardness of her eyes. "Please." She wasn't happy, but he could trust her.

X

"Van Pelt, you have anything?"

The redhead looked up from her computer screen. "Morning, Boss. Yeah, I've got a couple leads. One of the victims has a sister with serious debt. Found an angry voice mail from her, trashed but not deleted. Sounds like she wanted in on the partnership and they shot her down. But now —"

"She's first in line to inherit." Lisbon nodded. "Good work."

"Hey, boss?"

"Yeah?" They were alone in the bullpen, first thing in the morning.

"Um. Are things okay with you and Jane?"

"Of course. Why would you ask me that?"

"Oh, it's just that — "

"You know." Lisbon leaned against Van Pelt's desk, resigned to talk about it. "Did Cho tell you?"

"Yeah." She wrinkled her nose in apology.

Lisbon pinched the bridge of her nose, then forced a smile. "We're not exactly hiding it. Just trying to keep a low profile. It's not against the rules since Jane's a consultant. Grey area, I guess."

"How long have you guys been —?"

"Which time?"

"What?"

"Sorry. It's complicated, and it's not exactly a work matter."

"Right. Sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"Don't worry about it. Listen, after this case is closed let's do pizza upstairs. We'll catch everyone up."

Van Pelt brightened. "Sounds good."

"Great." Lisbon straightened, back to the task at hand. "The sister?"

"Yep. Greta Brown."

"Good. Oh, Jane wanted to look into the janitor. Bill..." she searched her memory.

"Gingenheim," Jane supplied, approaching them with an offering of coffee. He passed a large to-go cup to Lisbon and sipped at his own teacup. "Bill Gingenheim. He used one of those pass things, didn't he?"

"Yeah." Van Pelt checked some info on her screen. "He works for the whole building, he would have an all access badge. You want me to get his records?" she directed at Lisbon.

She nodded. "Might as well get all the security records."

Van Pelt focused on her screen. "I'm on it."

X

Three nights later they were eating case closed pizza.

Rigsby settled onto the couch with a loaded plate and put his feet up on the coffee table. "Okay, Jane. What tipped you off with the badges? You didn't even go to the crime scene."

Jane shrugged. "It was all about access. The financials got us to the sister, but she couldn't get into the offices where our duo was killed without a little help. Poor Bill didn't stand a chance."

When they went looking for the janitor he hadn't reported in for work. He wasn't in any of his usual hangouts or at home. Eventually they canvassed the area and found his dead body in a dumpster. But his death didn't cover up the crime like the sister had hoped. Instead it focused all the evidence back to her.

Cho sat down heavily next to Rigsby. "Why are we watching tennis?" he asked.

"A sport of sophistication," Jane said grandly.

"They grunt," Cho intoned. "The ball just goes back and forth. No suspense."

"Have you ever played? You can't deny the sportsmanship. Finesse. Skill."

"I'd rather watch chess boxing."

"That's a thing?" asked Van Pelt.

"Yep." Cho flipped the station to a football game. "It's a growing sport. Round of chess, then a round of boxing. There's a club in LA. You up for it, Jane?"

Jane studied Cho, but couldn't find the joke. "Intriguing, but… not for me."

Cho flashed a rare smile and turned back to the TV.

"Speaking of teams," Rigsby started slowly as Lisbon joined Jane by the pizza. "I heard you guys…" He cleared his throat, unable to finish the statement. He stared at his plate instead.

Lisbon was lost for words. Jane shifted behind her and squeezed her shoulders. "We are… is dating the right term? Courting each other? Wooing? We're stepping out together. Except we don't really go anywhere, unless you count work —"

She nudged him with her elbow. "Oh, stop."

"I moved in with Lisbon after my acquittal," he simplified.

"We're happy for you guys," Van Pelt chimed in.

"Yeah. Glad to see good things in your life again. You know, after..." Rigsby trailed off awkwardly.

Lisbon felt Jane's hands stiffen slightly. She glanced up at him and he smiled at her — one of his easy smiles, reflexive, unconvincing. She scanned the room, thoughts spinning. She stopped on the pizza boxes. "Oh, shoot. They forgot to deliver the wings," she exclaimed.

"You want me to call and straighten it out?" Jane asked.

"Actually, could you go and pick them up? It'll be faster."

Jane hesitated. "Yeah." He dropped a kiss to her head. "I'll be right back."

"I'll let them know you're coming," she called after him. As soon as he left she pulled out her phone.

"We don't usually get wings," Rigsby said gleefully, rubbing his hands together.

Lisbon mentally doubled her order. "Yes, hello, I'd like to order some wings for pickup."

After she ended the call, Cho spoke up. "They didn't forget anything," he stated.

"No," she acknowledged frankly. "I need to talk to you guys."

X

Jane hadn't been back to the attic since their little party. They had solved a few more cases, but kept it simple and ate pizza in the bullpen while they finished paperwork.

Lately he preferred spending time in Lisbon's office while she finished up her work day. He could think just as well on her couch, or take a nap. Everyone accepted his presence there now. He was part of the decor, one with the sofa. It calmed him, sharing a space with her, knowing where she was.

Every time Red John came up they argued. So he tried to carry on on his own. He knew the serial killer's silence wouldn't last. The longer it stretched, the more uneasy he became. Of course, there were no new clues. His investigation was in a holding pattern.

So tonight, with Lisbon out for the evening, he sat in the half dark of the attic and brooded, only the one light on by the couch. His thoughts turned slowly. He flipped through the large volume of William Blake poetry, then abandoned it to make some tea. He didn't bother to turn on more lights, able to fill and start the electric kettle well enough in the shadows.

He poured boiling water into his cup, turning in surprise as the door slid open behind him. Van Pelt slipped inside and closed the door behind her. She sat down on the couch and opened up her laptop without looking around. The motions seemed familiar to her, routine.

Jane waited a minute then stepped into the light, cup and saucer aloft as he dunked his tea bag.

"Hello, Grace."

Van Pelt startled, then settled cautiously. "Hi, Jane. Didn't expect you up here."

He sipped calmly. "I could say the same."

"I thought you'd be with Lisbon, getting her brother and niece settled and away."

"I had lunch with them. Already got Tommy's reticent approval to date his sister, so that's one out of three." He smiled gently, "Teresa said I've corrupted her niece enough for one visit."

Van Pelt smiled, then ducked her head, avoiding his gaze. "Cho went home. He's not complaining, but I think his back is still bothering him."

"Understandable. Are you meeting Rigsby up here for some reason?"

"No. He's on a date."

"Ah," he intoned, whittling down the reasons for her presence. "You don't need to be here, Grace."

Guilt flashed across her features. She sighed. "We're getting close."

"You shouldn't be working on it. You shouldn't know about him."

Van Pelt looked hurt, defensive. "Still think you own Red John? We've all earned our piece." She stared at her keyboard and added, "You've got a huge blind spot if you didn't realize what we were doing until now. I've been coming up here most nights for a month."

Jane breathed in the aromatic steam coming off his cup, and closed his eyes. Depression wasn't new to him, but Lisbon was right. His heightened fear was making him sluggish. The world thought Red John was dead. If he continued to pursue the killer, it was advertising that he knew differently. It was asking for trouble.

The team was sneaking around under his nose and he refused to see. He resisted pushing against the tension with Lisbon, afraid their delicate balance would topple. Red John was a ghoul in the shadows, poisoning their relationship. Even if he never acted, never killed again, Jane could still lose her. And could only blame himself. His fingers tightened on his tea cup.

"What have you found?" he prodded gently, controlling his whirling emotions.

She stabbed at the keys. "We've been making notes on all our cases. Tracking the small town sheriffs and police chiefs we've worked with, and their staff. Seeing if anything stands out. I've been compiling them into a spreadsheet. I was going to give it to you when we're done."

His face paled as he realized the depth of what she was saying. "Our cases? You think we've met him?"

She glared up at him. "Makes sense, doesn't it? If he's law enforcement."

Jane sighed. "Yeah," he admitted. It was a new feeling, being shown up by someone else. He didn't like it.

She finished some keystrokes and stood up, holding out her laptop. "This is what I've got so far. If you're interested," she bit out. Jane set aside his tea and took it contritely. "It's not on the network and it's my own personal laptop. Take your time."

"You're not staying?"

Van Pelt finished gathering her things and straightened. She looked him in the eye, still angry. "No. I don't need to be here," she threw his words back in his face.

He didn't try to stop her. "Thank you, Grace."

She paused to acknowledge him, inclining her head. "Goodnight, Jane." More softly she added, "I hope it helps."

X

After a few intense hours with the document, Jane fell asleep on the couch. When he woke, light was starting to filter in through the window. He stretched and noticed a short handwritten note next to his phone. He traced the letters lightly with one finger. They had a case, and Lisbon let him sleep. Considering the circumstances, he couldn't be sure if she had done it out of thoughtfulness or to avoid an argument. But as held the note, more personal than a text, he only felt warmth for her. He missed her. He wanted to share his thoughts with her. The wheels were turning again.

He checked the time and headed for his car, eager to join the team.

Half an hour later he pulled over in a small town to investigate why his beloved car was behaving erratically. Frustrated, he set about changing a flat tire. His phone rang and he was pleased to see it was Lisbon. They comfortably kept the call about work, and as they bantered he insisted he could still do his job over the phone. As she described the scene, one thing became very clear. They were dealing with a serial killer.

"We're finishing up here in the next hour. We'll have to wait for files from Fresno PD to get the full picture anyway. See you back at the office?"

Flat tire dealt with, Jane returned to Sacramento. While he waited, he spent more time with the file. A couple hours later, they all met in the bullpen and Rigsby presented the case.

"The San Joaquin killer abducts young girls, all between the ages of 16 and 20. He takes them to a location where he binds their hands and feet with wire, then cuts their throat before dumping the bodies. Small objects found near the crime scene are placed over their eyes... pebbles, pieces of glass, and bottle caps so far."

They talked through the case and Lisbon tasked Rigsby and Cho with interviewing the eight suspects that Fresno PD provided. Jane promptly gave her a hard time for repeating their police work instead of going with her gut. She played along and eliminated half of the men on the board based on her flash impressions. Lisbon had to smile when Jane accused her of using "profiling blather" when she paused to consult one of their files.

"Profiling can be useful," she chided.

Jane shrugged. "Remains to be seen," he said.

"We'll get him," she said confidently and they both knew she wasn't just talking about the San Joaquin killer.

Jane held her gaze and tapped the board of suspects to draw her attention back to the task. She lingered on his face, hoping to see a spark of hope there, but he gave nothing away. "Tick tock, Lisbon," he said gently. Red John didn't qualify as work talk anymore.

She sucked in a breath and turned, scanning the three remaining suspects. She zeroed in on one of them and knew Jane was following her line of sight. He pointed to the one in the corner.

"This one?" Jane confirmed.

"Well, yeah, but it's just a hunch. I don't even know why."

"Best kind of hunch. As good a place to start as any." He pulled the picture off the board and handed it to her. "Nicely done, Lisbon."

X

Richard Haibach was a solid suspect. He was creepy as hell and his hobby of stalking and photographing young girls certainly didn't do him any favors. She just couldn't make the evidence stick for the murders. She pursued him until she had enough for an arrest, but after talking to his lawyer she had to let him go.

Already frustrated, the news of another murdered girl hit her hard. The energy at the crime scene was desperate, frantic. It had only been a few days since the last girl was killed. This guy was escalating fast. If they didn't stop him, he would strike again. She already felt the guilt seeping in. She could have stopped this, it was her job.

Jane drove right up to the tightly controlled scene. Lisbon directed him to the body, shielded from the prying gaze of the press.

The victim was only a few hours cold.

"Haibach was free by then. He could have done it," Lisbon needed to get this guy off the streets for good.

"No. I know who did this — James Panzer."

Lisbon stilled at the name. They had settled into a different rhythm on this case. She had been too busy pursuing her own lead to keep track of Jane, but now the details settled into place. He had good instincts and he had found his own man to follow. A man who had been too smart to be a suspect, but had inserted himself into the investigation as a blogger — an expert on all things San Joaquin Killer.

"Panzer? The reporter covering the case?" their boss Wainwright clarified, inserting himself into the discussion. His presence at the crime scene was a grim reminder of how quickly things had intensified.

"The Fresno PD would have checked him out," stated Lisbon.

"They did. He had an alibi for two of the murders, both faked somehow. Look into them if you don't believe me, or don't. I don't care. I know it was him."

"Evidence." Wainwright didn't indicate doubt, he just stated what they needed. But they didn't have any, not really. And the FBI wanted the case.

X

Without much time to waste, Jane quickly put together a plan. Knowing he had a fresh taste for attention, they baited Panzer by arresting someone they now knew was innocent. Haibach had come in handy after all, his crudeness and perversion far from glamorous. Later they waited for Panzer to leave his house — presumably to find a new victim and reestablish the perception he desired.

But Panzer had set them up and had the media invite him out as an expert witness on a fresh lead. A potential kill room was contaminated by a TV crew and Panzer's freshly justified fingerprints. Jane could no longer cozy up to him as a kindred spirit, and they still had no hard evidence.

The FBI took the case and all the files. Special Agent Susan Darcy had every appearance of competence, but Jane had no expectations they would actually follow through with his lead on Panzer before more lives were lost. He had spent time in Panzer's apartment, he had no doubts. But his knowledge of the man's medicine cabinet didn't impress the FBI.

He prowled into the hallway after their meeting, spinning with ideas he had no outlet for.

"Jane, you heard Wainwright. Our hands are tied."

"Yeah." Jane stuffed his hands into his pockets and scuffed his toe against the floor. He latched onto one facet of an idea. "Yeah. Maybe yours are."

Lisbon didn't like that look in his eye. She pulled him into the closest empty conference room. "What are you going to do?"

"Relax, Lisbon. I'm just going to talk to our reporter friend."

"Not Panzer," she said, slightly alarmed.

"No, the TV reporter — Karen Cross. She's been pestering me to be on her show since we got the case."

"Panzer is her leading expert on the San Joaquin Killer. You'll both be on the show. Is that really a good idea? How much can you poke at him before he snaps?"

"It won't come to that. You want to come along? Be my police escort?"

"You gonna get a confession?"

"Nothing so mundane. He's too smart for that."

She thought about it, then sighed in defeat. "I don't think having a visible police presence there is going to help matters then."

"No. I need to rattle him on a different level. This one needs careful maneuvering."

"That's what I'm worried about. You planning a trap?"

"Nothing too exciting."

"Jane," she whined. "I need to know. It's too important."

"After the show, will you be ready?"

"Ready for what? Tell me what's going on."

"You won't like it."

"Then don't do it. Jane," she warned.

"I'll text you a list of things to pick up. We'll have some quality time together. I'll pick up a car with those fancy heated seats." He squeezed her hands in what was obviously meant to be a reassuring way, but a coldness was settling in her belly.

"Another stakeout? Really? Because the last one ended so well."

"The show airs live tonight. Be ready, Teresa." He was smiling now, that disarming grin that showed he knew he was getting his way. Lisbon scowled back, but he squeezed her hands again and was gone.

X

A few hours later they were settled into a minivan with heated seats, down the street from Panzer's apartment.

"You really expect Red John to come here? Personally?"

Jane spoke around a bite of sandwich. "How could he not? Panzer laid it on thick. Red John won't let that insult stand."

"I can't believe you set him up like that. He thinks Red John is dead, along with the majority of the population. Carter told you he was retiring, right? What if that was a true message from Red John? Why would he blow it all by going after some small-time blogger?"

He pointed his half eaten dinner at her. "That's the uncertainty. Will he use his calling card or not? On the one hand, he'll want to take credit for the kill since it's a direct retaliation - a revenge kill. And yet, there is the question of public perception. Will people think he's back, or assume it's a copycat or someone acting on his behalf? What's the spin?"

"But he won't kill Panzer. That's why we're here."

"I'm here to stop two serial killers." Jane punctuated his statement by casually taking another bite of his sandwich.

"I can't believe this was your plan," Lisbon glared at him. "We don't have the luxury of creative wording, Jane. If we're doing this together, then we have to follow the structure of the law."

He looked at her affectionately. "I didn't invite you along so I could ignore all your sensibilities, Lisbon." She started to soften, when he added, "Besides, I don't think a jury would be so forgiving a second time. I would have to go on the run."

Her smile turned back into a scowl. Jane propped himself on the console between them and grinned impishly. Lisbon pushed him off balance. "Oh, hush." She turned her attention back to the duplex where Panzer lived and froze. "We've got movement," she stated, her cop instincts kicking into gear.

Panzer came out his front door and glanced up and down the street before crossing to his car.

Jane straightened and fastened his seat belt. "Déjà vu. Wonder where he's going?"

"Maybe he's really going out to set up a kill this time?"

"Or Red John called him away somehow, so he can have the upper hand."

"Either way, we need to stay on his tail."

She reached forward and turned the key in the ignition. Panzer pulled away from the curb. As she put her hand on the gear shift, she was startled by a knock on her window.

Jane looked with her and his face fell. "Uh oh," he said quietly as Lisbon rolled down her window.

"Agent Darcy!" she greeted the FBI agent with false enthusiasm. "What are you doing here?"

"A little reconnaissance, a little protective detail," she informed them and waved at the SUV that passed them in pursuit of Panzer. "Thanks for the intel, Patrick."

"Sure," he said, his smile rigid with false politeness.

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you, professional CBI agents that you are... when the FBI takes over a case, we take over the case. I don't need your assist on this one." Lisbon bobbed her head in reply. Another SUV pulled up next to them and Darcy stepped away. "Have a good night," she called and got in the other car. They drove off. Panzer's car and the following vehicle were no longer in sight.

"Damn," Lisbon exclaimed.

"No need to get blue, my dear." Jane was focused on the apartment building.

"Your whole plan was just shot to hell!"

"Well, that depends," he said. "It's always possible the FBI will apprehend Red John."

"Sheep dip."

Jane's mouth quirked and he turned his head to look at her. "Fewer cooks in the kitchen now," he pointed out. He grinned and unbuckled his seat belt. "I'm going in."

"The hell you are!" Lisbon reached across to hold his arm as he twisted towards the door.

He turned back to her. "Strategy number two. Have a poke around, save the FBI some time when they need to go looking for their precious evidence."

"You're not convincing me here, Jane. You have a terrible track record with evidence. If you go in, I go in."

"Stick to the plan, Teresa. I need you on look out duty. If Panzer comes back, or you see anyone else approaching, my life is going to depend on it."

Lisbon struggled to refute his logic. If they were both found in Panzer's apartment any evidence they discovered would be inadmissible. If she couldn't stop him, she had to cover all the bases. "Do you have any weapons?"

"Sure I do." When she raised her eyebrows in question, he added, "You. Same as always."

She sighed in exasperation. "I'm serious."

"So am I." He leaned closer, his smile gone. "I need you to know…" he reached for the words, then said simply, "I'm sorry. I know it hasn't been easy, being with me these last couple of months. Whatever happens tonight —"

"Jane," she interrupted, unwilling to talk about the danger they were playing with. "I didn't sign up for easy. It was never easy with you. I mean," she flushed. "I mean, we've been through a lot together. I have no regrets." Her eyes glittered as she peered across the console at him. "I… I love you."

The words pierced him. A look of wonder stole across him as he searched her face. He closed the gap between them. Kissing her always felt like coming home, a safe place, a promise. He consumed himself with her, feeling in her response how much she wanted him to stay, to remain in this bubble. They could drive away now, forget Red John, but would they ever be free? He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers as he caught his breath.

"Stay alert," he said quietly. "If I don't contact you within ten minutes, follow me."

"I don't like this," she answered.

"I know. I love you."

"I... love you too."

His eyes twinkled and he kissed her again before he left the car and walked briskly across the street.

X

Jane made quick work of the lock, and smiled back in her direction before he slipped inside. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the dimness before attempting the stairs. He was thankful that he had been in this apartment enough over the last couple of days to know the layout. It was a minefield of files and notes. Neatly stacked and organized, but on nearly every available surface. It would be hard to find anything useful. He paused, looking and listening for anything out of the ordinary. It was eerily quiet.

He made his way over to the iPod station and lifted it from the dock. The soft glow of the screen made him wince. He tabbed through the menus. On an earlier visit he had found a song with a connection to the first victim. He wondered how many of these songs were trophies. He put it in his pocket and blinked, trying to re-establish his night vision.

A stack of papers slid and fell, drawing his attention towards the bathroom. As he turned he bumped the edge of a bookshelf and put a hand out to steady it, willing the piles of notes to stay in place.

A pinprick of pain rested against his neck and he went still. He could sense the weight of someone behind him. A hand snaked around his arm, holding him steady. He could feel a whisper of breath against his ear. His own breathing rate increased, the sound of his heartbeat nearly drowning out the nasally high pitched voice he associated with Red John.

" _They look upon his eyes / Filled with deep surprise,_ " the voice recited. "Hello, Patrick."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale Part 2, w/ special guest Red John! Thanks for reading!

_A pinprick of pain rested against his neck and he went still. He could sense the weight of someone behind him. A hand snaked around his arm, holding him steady. He could feel a whisper of breath against his ear. His own breathing rate increased, the sound of his heartbeat nearly drowning out the nasally high pitched voice he associated with Red John._

_"They look upon his eyes / Filled with deep surprise," the voice recited. "Hello, Patrick."_

Jane swallowed thickly, instinctively stretching his neck to avoid the cold point of steel. It was all shadows and hard angles, but he could see enough to know the other man wore some sort of mask over his head. "I was hoping to run into you here," he forced out, attempting levity. A cold sweat broke out on his forehead. He breathed in through his nose, out through his mouth.

He felt dirty, the killer holding him close like an embrace. He couldn't move, couldn't even make himself relax his hands from the fists they had formed. They breathed together, shared the same air. The tension built inside him as the silence grew.

"I could see it in your eyes, your invitation," Red John finally spoke again. "Panzer made a mockery of me, but you were pulling the strings. So much potential. So much blood on your hands."

Jane felt the urge to wipe his sweaty palms clean. He clenched his fists tighter, fought for control of himself. He made his voice low, cold. "He needs to be stopped. One way or another."

"The system can always be rigged, but death is so very final. You know that well, don't you, Patrick?" A low chuckle grated at his ears. "Well, for some of us."

Jane pressed his lips together into a grim line. "Carter was very convincing, but the cover up was telling… Is the knife really necessary?"

"You'll forgive me if I don't trust your intentions."

"I have no weapons. If we're just waiting, I wouldn't mind a chair."

He flinched as his phone vibrated in his pocket. Hope diffused through his chest, he breathed a little easier. It must be Lisbon calling to check on him. He wouldn't need to answer, she would come.

Red John made the same inference. "Does your Agent Lisbon know what you're doing here?"

"I'm, uh, well, I was collecting evidence against Panzer."

"Collecting or planting? Or laying in wait. Dragging her into your web of lies." He leaned closer, whispered into his ear. "So easy to lie to the ones we love."

The knife pulled away as Red John stepped back. Jane swallowed again and straightened ever so slightly. The killer was still poised, now holding a gun.

"Empty your pockets," he demanded. "Slowly."

Jane held out his hands to show they were empty, then methodically rifled through his pockets, putting a handful of items on a stable looking stack. Red John examined the iPod curiously.

"It's Panzer's," Jane explained. "I thought it might…" He shook his head. "Never mind."

Red John took everything, leaving no evidence behind. He patted Jane down, then prodded him further into the duplex, following close behind into the kitchen. There was clutter here too, but less paper. They came to a patio door and paused.

"Open it."

Jane meticulously twisted the lock and tugged on the handle. It slid open effortlessly. "We're not waiting? Where are we going?" he asked as he stepped through onto the deck. Red John pointed him towards the stairs.

"To take care of your problem."

They moved together towards a narrow alley at the back of the property. Red John didn't urge Jane to move any faster, so he took almost painfully slow steps. He strained his ears, waiting to hear Lisbon's voice calling out to them. His hope dwindled the further they got from the house.

They approached a car, just out of the light cast from a street lamp. A figure emerged from the driver's side. He wore a half mask over his eyes and nose, a hat obscuring his hair. He walked with a very slight limp.

"Hold out your wrists," Red John prompted as the man neared them.

Jane did as he was instructed and the driver slipped some interlocked thick zip ties over them, pulling until the plastic bit into his skin.

"Any trouble?" asked Red John. The driver shook his head. "Excellent." He took out Jane's phone and removed the battery and sim card before discarding it. His friend opened the back door of the car and guided Jane inside.

Jane's heart sank at the sight of Lisbon on the other seat. She was unconscious, turned towards him with her neck stretched out uncomfortably. Her own wrists were secured like his.

"Lisbon?" he asked in alarm. The door shut firmly behind him. He shifted and brought his hands up to her face, stroking her cheek. She remained still, and he held his breath until he could determine the faint noise of her own.

The front doors opened simultaneously and the masked men settled in.

"What did you do to her?" Jane growled.

Red John didn't bother to turn his head. "Your Agent Lisbon will be perfectly fine. Didn't want to alarm the neighbors."

The engine started and they pulled away. It was a unmarked cop car with a barrier between them and the front seat. There was no use fighting. Wherever Red John was going, they were along for the ride.

X

They took a lot of back roads through increasingly quiet streets to arrive at a warehouse. Lisbon woke on the way, groggy and out of sorts. She bounced back quickly as she realized what was happening and the adrenaline kicked in. Jane whispered a few calming words, but otherwise encouraged her to remain quiet. He was all too aware of their audience. Their clasped hands were the only outward sign of their concern.

The driver parked the car under a small canopy in an otherwise empty lot. He got out and ushered Jane and Lisbon towards the door at gunpoint while Red John followed leisurely, brandishing his knife once more.

The interior was lit with work lights on stands, making more shadows and dark corners. Some open steel shelves held a variety of trinkets and tools, arranged with some work benches to create defined work areas.

As they walked through one of the bays, Jane bumped into one of the shelves. He paused to apologize and right a few items that had fallen. The driver in the half mask pushed him along roughly.

A cleared area beyond the shelving slowly came into view. A heavy duty metal chair was ringed by lights, a slumped figure strapped into it. His head was bent down as if he were sleeping, but he perked up a bit as they approached. It was Panzer. He hummed in protest against a duct tape gag.

The hope in his eyes dimmed as he realized the newcomers were not in a position to help.

Another minion was standing guard nearby. He didn't wear a mask, but he stuck to the shadows. Red John dismissed him with a wave and he promptly slipped out they way they had come in.

Lisbon paused at the edge of the clearing. The driver stopped with her, clearly transitioning to the role of a guard. Jane continued on, warming to his audience. "There he is! You snuck him out from under the FBI's noses!" He studied Panzer victoriously, then frowned and turned to Red John who was hovering behind him. "Can we do away with the tape? I was hoping we could all have a chat."

"We're not here to talk."

"A professional courtesy, surely? One serial killer to another?" Red John stepped forward menacing and growled low in his throat. Jane stepped back with his hands raised as best he could in apology. "My mistake."

Red John stalked closer to Panzer, creating tension with each step. He loomed over him, then suddenly ducked down to peer into his face. He seemed satisfied at the fear he saw there. He traced his knife almost playfully across the man's cheek. "He will know precisely why he's here by the time I'm done with him."

"Do you usually wear a mask during your kills? Don't feel obligated on our account."

"Jane," hissed Lisbon in warning.

"Your agent is very wise. Unless you'd like to be silenced also?"

"You keep calling her my agent. I don't own her."

"Merely reminding you of what you have to lose."

Jane lowered his head in submission. He glanced around the room and noticed the driver was frowning. The man shifted and his expression cleared.

They stood together tensely for a few moments, before Lisbon dared to say something. "Sorry, why are we here?"

"Justice," Jane answered coldly.

"Patrick was so eager to invoke my name, I've come to clean up your mess. And you're here to watch his fall from grace."

Lisbon looked between them uncertainly. "What does that mean?" Jane's false merriness was gone, replaced by a coolness that made her shiver. "You're not — Jane, that's not the plan. You promised. We are the law."

Jane turned to her, defiant and tense. He spoke quietly and firmly, just to her. "The system is flawed. We weren't going to get him any other way." He was so close, he rested his forehead against hers, took her hands. She resisted the contact briefly, but he shifted to grip her more tightly. "I'm so tired, Teresa."

He pressed a long kiss to her forehead, making an audible popping sound as he pulled away. He ignored the tears in her eyes.

"Don't do it, Jane," she whispered. "Patrick. Nothing is worth this."

He turned, engaging with Red John again. His jaw clenched, he asked, "Let's get this over with. Do I get a knife?"

"So eager. This is something to savor." Red John circled Panzer, his knife skimming along his form. Panzer's breathing quickened at the proximity. He tried to turn his head to follow the movement, but Red John held it in place, forcing him to face front. Jane stood still to watch in fascination. Red John continued on languidly, moving along the other arm. "Anticipation is the best part of fear."

He came full circle, graceful like a dance. Then he launched himself at Jane, spinning him to face the others with the knife back at his neck. "Don't forget who is in control," he hissed. "Never forget."

Jane swallowed thickly, the knife pressing into him.

"Say it!" Red John bellowed.

Jane's mouth opened and closed wordlessly. He could feel Lisbon's distress as she stood nearby, powerless. He was playing without a safety net and was one step away from falling. He closed his eyes to gather his strength and try again. He calmed himself by sifting through the details of the room. He frowned. Something was off — wrong, and it wasn't the blasted knife at his throat again.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, his eyes opened and met the cold eyes of the driver. The other man was standing tensely, ready to snap. He hadn't said a word this whole time. His clothes fit him oddly, stretching across his chest in a way that made him look slightly disproportionate. Jane watched him blink, a slow deliberate movement. Thoughts aligned.

"You like feeling powerful," Jane said in his soothing manner, the effect slightly ruined by the strain he was under. "You hold it well, very creepy. I was nearly convinced." He still held the pressing gaze of the driver. "Still… Best not to go off script when the boss is watching, don't you think?"

Red John hissed and pressed the knife further, drawing a bead of blood.

Jane winced, but his eyes issued a challenge to the man across the room. The driver finally moved. "Enough," he ground out, drawing attention to himself, his gun raised threateningly.

Red John shifted his focus, raising slightly. "You dare to —"

There was a loud crack of gunfire and Jane felt raw heat on his upper right arm. He gasped in surprise. The weight of the masked man fell away from him. Jane turned as if in a haze to see him on the ground, a pool of blood spreading on the concrete.

He sat down heavily onto the floor, then scrambled away from the mess, away from the others.

It sounded like someone was calling to him, but it was muffled by a high pitched whine. There was a fuzziness at the edges of his vision, his breath loud in his ears. His arm hurt. He looked down at it and saw blood.

Sound came rushing back.

"Jane!" Lisbon called out, held back by the driver.

He inclined his head towards her, but couldn't make the words work. With his wrists bound he couldn't staunch the blood flow. He fingered the small wound on his neck instead. He looked again at the false Red John, dying. "He didn't know, did he?" he gasped, turning back to the driver. "He thought you were just another minion."

"I don't have minions," the driver, aka the real Red John, declared. "I have followers, disciples. All of them willing to die for me." He used the falsetto voice now, but he grabbed Lisbon's arm roughly and started to drag her towards Jane. Panzer howled against his gag in bewilderment and alarm at the man now dead in front of him.

Lisbon fought back, planting her feet and twisting in his grip. She managed to catch him off guard and dropped Red John to his knees. She backed away as he righted herself, aiming his own gun at him. Her wrists were no longer bound.

Red John held his arms out in casual surrender. "Very sneaky, Patrick. But predictable." He dropped his hands again and addressed Lisbon directly. "You're out of bullets. Thanks for putting your fingerprints on that."

He hurried towards the body. All signs of his limp were gone. Lisbon swore while her gun clicked on empty. Before she could switch tactics, Red John had scooped up the dead man's weapons and was pointing a gun back at her. Lisbon threw her empty gun at him and darted into the work bays, finding cover. Red John fired two shots after her, then hunkered down next to Jane at the far edge of the clearing and chuckled. "There's no escape for her. I have people outside. Still feeling lucky?"

"You didn't need to kill him."

Red John looked casually at the mess he had caused. "No, I suppose not." He smiled widely. "But it helps set up a great cover story."

Jane turned away and tried to scooch along the floor. Red John caught him easily and positioned himself at his ear, playing with the knife with much greater ease than the impostor had.

"You could still help me with Panzer, redeem yourself. I may even let your Agent Lisbon live."

"Go. To hell." Jane gasped out.

"Things are looking very bleak for you. You sure that's what you want to go with?" He squeezed roughly on Jane's bleeding arm to prove his point.

Jane yelped, then focused on slowing his breathing. In and out. Red John wrestled the jacket off of Jane, causing more suffering as he showed no interest in coddling his injury. Jane winced at the sound of fabric tearing. Red John used the lining to fashion a crude bandage, tying it tightly around the oozing red spot on his upper arm. "Can't have you bleeding out before the fun is over."

Movement came from the bays, and Lisbon came back with another man holding her at gunpoint. It was the guard who had left when they got there. He had a lean build, but had the posture and confidence of a cop.

Lisbon shook her head at Jane, her lips pursed thin. Her arms were secured behind her now with handcuffs, a bruise darkened on her cheek. Jane smiled lightly at the fire in her eyes. She was angry, not defeated.

Red John sighed dramatically as he stood up. "I really hoped things could be different between us, Patrick." He walked past Panzer into the shadows, trailing the knife along the panicked man's arm as he went. He returned with another chair, the feet dragging noisily across the floor.

He kicked the dead body aside so the chairs were facing each other. Then he held his arm out to summon Lisbon. The guard pushed her towards him, following slightly behind. Jane tried to trip him up on the way past and got kicked in the gut for his trouble. He groaned and curled inwards.

Lisbon stopped short.

"Get in the chair, lady," the man urged.

"You really expect me to cooperate with you?"

Red John advanced on her. Lisbon held her ground, her jaw tight with defiance. He raised his knife, skimmed along her arm. He brought it up to her cheek, then paused at her lack of reaction. "No," he said quietly, like he was answering his own question. "We both know where this is heading. You won't beg for your own life." He stepped back, then stalked purposely back to Jane.

He pulled Jane's hair, pulling his head back and exposing his neck. "His face?" he asked, then moved the knife lower, towards the vest buttons. He hovered over Jane's lower belly. "Or perhaps somewhere more… intimate?" He grinned. "Just enough to scar."

Lisbon found Jane's gaze. He tried to convey assurance to her, his lids heavy with pain, his breathing erratic. Her mouth tightened. She turned away from him and went around the chair to sit on it's edge, her bound hands preventing her from sitting further back.

"No trouble now," the dirty cop said, coming up behind her. She sat tensely while he released one hand and then pulled her still cuffed hand to the arm of the chair and refastened the metal around it.

While he worked, Red John toyed with his knife. He slipped it under Jane's shirt sleeve. "So many times I could have marked you," he said quietly.

I see trees of green... Red roses too...

The song "What a Wonderful World" started blaring at top volume. It was muffled, coming from the direction of the dead man. Red John flinched, nicking Jane's arm lightly. He pulled away.

"What the hell?" he muttered under his breath. He went to investigate.

The man with Lisbon pulled out another set of cuffs and walked in front of her to attend to her other arm. She kicked out at him at full strength. He doubled over, swearing. He gave her a long look, seething in anger.

As Red John bent over the body, fishing in the man's pockets, Jane stood unsteadily to his feet. He centered himself, then shuffled towards Red John, eyes intent on the killer's unattended gun tucked into the back of his pants.

The dirty cop pulled back his arm menacingly. The music stopped. There was a crash in the sudden silence. Red John straightened angrily. The cop was on the floor, unresponsive. Lisbon was still perched on the edge of her seat, facing away. Panzer stared back at him with threatening eyes.

"What is going on?" Red John took one step towards them, then whirled back towards Jane as he felt a weight lifted from him.

Jane leveled the gun at him with a weak smile, backing away to create space between them.

Red John eyed him warily. "What'll it be, Patrick?" he asked. "For every follower that falls, another will take their place. Lisbon is as good as dead. Anything else you tell yourself is a lie. But you can make it easier for her if you cooperate. Your choice. Give me the gun."

Jane's hands trembled. "I don't think I will."

"Look at you. You can barely hold that gun up. You'd better not miss, I won't give you a second chance."

"Drop it. Do it now!" Cho's voice rang out. Law enforcement officers spread out into the room, coming from a different entrance behind Panzer. Rigsby and Van Pelt were distinctive among them, the others marked by FBI Kevlar vests.

Jane and Red John didn't waver, only focused on each other. Two FBI agents joined Cho at the stand off, adding their own guns to the mix. "Put down your weapons," one of them barked.

The masked man grinned and held his hands out in surrender, still holding the knife loosely.

"About time you got here," Jane admonished, swaying lightly on his feet. Blood soaked through his bandage.

"Darcy needed convincing." Cho kept his gun trained on Red John. "Drop your knife."

It fell with a clatter. "It's not what it looks like. That woman shot my friend, and I brought a knife to a gun fight. I appreciate your timely intervention."

"That woman who was partially restrained over there with no weapons?" Cho asked without inflection. "If you're so innocent, then why are you wearing a mask and disguising your voice?"

"He doesn't want to be recognized," Jane answered.

Cho moved in and wrestled Red John's hands behind him, snapping the cuffs with finality.

Jane lowered the gun and leaned forward to bat the mask down. "I see you, Thomas McAllister," he said, showing no surprise at the reveal. "It's a shame you had to shave your mustache for this gig."

Red John glared back at him, frowning.

Jane smiled weakly, then staggered.

Lisbon rushed to him. She slipped under his restraints to support him, tucking herself under his injured arm. She took the gun from him before he could drop it. "He was shot, Cho. He needs an ambulance."

"One is on the way," Cho assured her briskly.

Lisbon pulled some cutting pliers from her pocket and worked her way through his zip ties. Freed, Jane leaned into her, reassuring himself with her closeness.

"This isn't over, Patrick," McAllister spit out.

Jane's voice was quiet, but steady. "We know who you are, and we know about the association of dirty cops. We will weed out anyone who could help you. You will rot in prison, and then you will die alone."

Red John sneered. "This isn't their fight. This isn't how you wanted it to end."

Jane turned his face away and smiled gently at Lisbon. "I have better things to do with my time."

Red John's frown deepened.

Cho sighed and pulled McAllister away while reciting his Miranda rights. The FBI agents followed him towards the chairs where Panzer was being extricated.

"We had a protection detail on you, Mr Panzer. You disappeared from the gas station. How did you end up here?" Agent Darcy's voice floated to them.

"They must have siphoned my gas tank, then put up signs at the station to pay inside so they could snatch me. You can't trust anyone anymore," Panzer said indignantly. "Dragged away, stuffed into a small trunk, then tied up here for hours while they played out this farce!" He stood up, rubbing at his wrists. He glared at Jane and stabbed a finger in his direction. "I'm afraid you'll be hearing from my lawyer, Mr. Jane." He tugged at his suit.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Jane called, his face clouding. Lisbon helped him move closer. "You can't let him go, he's the San Joaquin Killer."

Panzer came closer to meet him, the agents not even trying to detain him. "Just like that's 'Red John', I suppose." He scoffed. "So desperate, you're seeing ghosts." He looked at McAllister with disgust. Cho had moved on to coordinate with other agents, leaving McAllister with an FBI agent. "Red John was careful, precise. He never left a shred of evidence. This whole debacle was sloppy." He looked back to Jane. "What exactly was your plan? Torture me? Plant evidence in my apartment while I was held against my will? I'm not sure why you're convinced I'm this killer. It reeks of desperation. Sloppy!"

McAllister growled low in his throat.

Panzer turned and advanced on him, feeling bold. "Did Patrick hire you? Trying to scare me into a confession? These theatrics didn't frighten me."

"Patrick," McAllister drawled, staring impassively at Panzer. "It seems I have one last favor for you."

Panzer looked at him dumbly. Red John lunged, his hands unshackled and flashing with steel. He efficiently slashed at Panzer's throat. Before his victim had time to collapse, he turned to lash out at Jane and Lisbon.

Jane tried to pull back, but he couldn't seem to move. Time slowed.

Three gunshots rang out in quick succession.

Red John fell.

There were shouts from the other agents. Lisbon maintained coverage on him, her gun outstretched. She had blood spatter on her face.

Cho arrested the agent who had freed Red John. Darcy looked down at the dead bodies, one slack eyed and one without a face. She sighed. "Do we have an ETA on the M.E.?" she called out.

"Fifteen minutes," someone called back.

"I have a lot of questions for you, Mr. Jane," she said tersely before joining the others. "Get yourself checked out first."

Jane felt cold looking down at what had once been Thomas McAllister, the killer of his family. Lisbon had angled her shots upwards after the first shot was deflected by a bulletproof vest.

"It's over," he stated quietly. Lisbon was still supporting him, but had shifted and tensed to fire the gun. He could feel the cooling blood trickle down his own face as he studied her profile. "It's done," he told her.

Lisbon relaxed in turns, lowered her gun and turned to search his face. "It's really over?" she asked, in quiet shock. Jane nodded. She turned fully into his embrace.

No one bothered them until the ambulance arrived.

X

"Still can't believe we all walked away from that," Rigsby chuckled. "Darcy was spitting mad."

"Burden of proof," Jane stated, passing his plate back to him with a large slab of prime rib on it. "We may have planned for the eventuality, but they couldn't prove we weren't there under duress."

"Three men died," Lisbon added grumpily. "Definitely duress."

"Yeah, but… McAllister. You can't prove he was Red John."

"I'm not sure I want to. It's fitting that his legacy will always be as a mere minion." Jane grinned. "And now the FBI will be too busy tracking down a network of dirty cops to keep hounding us. Well, not for too long anyway."

"Thanks for having our backs," Lisbon added.

"Still don't think it was a good idea to leave Red John to an unknown agent," Cho stated.

"Every plan has some risk," Jane said gently. "We were ready."

Cho shook his head, unconvinced.

"I'm glad we could all be there, in the end." ventured Van Pelt.

Jane nodded at her in affirmation.

"Good old fashioned police raid to save the day," declared Rigsby cheerfully.

"And GPS trackers," Cho intoned.

"And GPS trackers," he conceded.

"And luring FBI agents to witness shady murderous showdowns."

"It was the plan. Gotta work the Jane plan," Rigsby defended.

Van Pelt raised her glass. "To the team," she toasted.

"The team," the others echoed, drinking their various beverages with her. They filled their plates from the generous spread laid out on Lisbon's table and started eating.

"So... until the CBI is up and running again —" started Van Pelt.

"If," Cho interrupted.

"Director Bertram, part of Red John's network," Rigsby chimed in. "That's huge."

"Anyway… what's next?" Van Pelt inquired.

Jane smiled at Lisbon and set down his fork to slide his hand under hers.

Van Pelt gasped.

Rigsby, too busy eating to notice the gesture, looked at her in puzzlement. "What? What's going on?"

"They're engaged," said Cho, then took another bite of steak.

Rigsby whipped his head back and raised his eyebrows at the sight of a delicate diamond ring on Lisbon's finger. "Congrats, Boss," he breathed.

"Do you have a date?" Van Pelt tried not to sound too eager.

"Next week."

"I know it's fast," Lisbon added quickly. "But—"

"We get it, Boss," Van Pelt said gently. "You're finally free."

Lisbon nodded and smiled, glowing at Jane.

He smiled back before squeezing her hand and turning to his audience. "It will be a small ceremony, but we want you all to be there."

"Okay," said Cho, amidst the other's agreements.

"Are they letting you get away for a honeymoon?"

Jane studied Lisbon, then tapped his lips thoughtfully. "In a couple months," he said. "Darcy wants us to stay close by during the investigation stage. Meanwhile, we've started looking for a house." Jane started rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb. "Three bedroom, two bath, gated community in North Sac. Room for a dog, two point three kids, lots of manicured trails and gardens." The others were forgotten as Jane described their dream.

Van Pelt looked between them. "Wait. Is Boss pregnant?"

Rigsby choked on his wine in shock.

Lisbon scowled. "Stop reading me!"

Jane grinned. "That's a yes."

Lisbon snatched her hand away from his grasp. "Stupid mentalist tricks," she muttered, then snapped, "I wanted to tell you properly."

Rigsby was still coughing. Cho leaned towards him. "You okay, man?" Rigsby nodded and Cho turned his attention to his vibrating phone. "It's Agent Darcy," he declared after checking the display. He stood up to take the call in the other room. "Congrats, guys. Really happy for you."

Van Pelt leaned over to clap Rigsby's back as he continued coughing.

Jane leaned in to whisper in Lisbon's ear. "I'm happy too. Ecstatic."

Lisbon pulled back to study him. "Really?"

"Really." The two lovebirds grinned at each other. "Bun in the oven," Jane murmured happily.

Cho appeared again. "We've been called in for testimony."

"What? Now? All of us?" asked Rigsby, recovered with a fork full of food.

"We have an hour before they come looking for us. You want to push it?"

"I heard they brought in an FBI team from Texas. Badass," Van Pelt observed. She turned to Lisbon. "You want help cleaning up?"

Jane waved her offer away. "No, you go do what you need to to get ready. I'll make up some doggy bags with leftovers. You can pick it up later," he said pointedly to Rigsby who had started stuffing food in his mouth.

Rigsby wiped his mouth with his napkin and swallowed. "Thanks, guys. And congrats!"

Within minutes Jane and Lisbon were left alone in their condo. Lisbon started to clear away the plates.

Jane moved to intercept her. "Oh no you don't," he exclaimed as he took the plates from her and set them aside, wincing slightly.

"You're not going to be one of those guys who thinks a pregnant woman can't do anything?" she asked, her voice high in disbelief. "You are hardly at full capacity with that arm."

He shook his head and moved closer, invading her space with an impish smile. "Nothing so foolish. I was thinking of more important things."

"We're on the clock here, Jane, we gotta get this food cleaned up at least."

"No. No clocks. We have time." He pulled her close and kissed her soundly. After a moment he pulled away, stepping back while holding her hand. He studied her midsection in wonder. "You really are?" he asked.

"I am."

Laughter bubbled out of them and Lisbon pulled him back in close for a hug. With all the uncertainty surrounding their jobs, she had realized with some surprise that it didn't bother her so much. Jane was the bridge that made work more fulfilling, and life more enjoyable. He had truly gotten under her skin and made his way into her heart. She couldn't be happier. And she knew, as he stroked her back and whispered sweet nothings into her ear, that he was finally at peace.

She couldn't wait to see what life would bring them. She knew they could weather anything.

Together.


End file.
